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Strange ritual / behavior question ...

W

Willinnm

Active member
Joined
Feb 23, 2020
Messages
37
Location
New mexico
Hello everyone,

I’ve been posting almost exclusively on the Self Harm forum, as it tends to be the thing I struggle with the most. I have a terrible anxiety disorder (panic?) which leads to the SH. But I also deal with extreme lows or bouts of depression. I see both an MD managing my meds, which has helped significantly, and a therapist whom I’m not 100% is right for me, but has led to some decent progression in my understanding.

The reason I’m writing today is to ask a question about something I find myself doing “occasionally” (one or twice a month - 3 times at most). That something I’m doing is finding myself acting out a “MOCK” suicide, without intention of actually acting in that thought. Clearly I’ll not go into detail, but the way I’m doing so is 100% safe - never hurt myself during these episodes nor is it during my anxiety/ panic attacks.

Is this “normal” behavior? If I were to tell my MD would I suddenly find myself confronted by a Safety Assessment Team / test? I’m absolutely NOT going to bring this up unless I’m completely certain I can’t be held for evaluation or that due to its “suicidal” nature the doctor will have reasonable reason to break my Doctor/Patient Confidentiality.
Many thanks for any thoughts or opinions.
Kind regards. W.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
3,437
Location
Nashua NH
Hello everyone,

I’ve been posting almost exclusively on the Self Harm forum, as it tends to be the thing I struggle with the most. I have a terrible anxiety disorder (panic?) which leads to the SH. But I also deal with extreme lows or bouts of depression. I see both an MD managing my meds, which has helped significantly, and a therapist whom I’m not 100% is right for me, but has led to some decent progression in my understanding.

The reason I’m writing today is to ask a question about something I find myself doing “occasionally” (one or twice a month - 3 times at most). That something I’m doing is finding myself acting out a “MOCK” suicide, without intention of actually acting in that thought. Clearly I’ll not go into detail, but the way I’m doing so is 100% safe - never hurt myself during these episodes nor is it during my anxiety/ panic attacks.

Is this “normal” behavior? If I were to tell my MD would I suddenly find myself confronted by a Safety Assessment Team / test? I’m absolutely NOT going to bring this up unless I’m completely certain I can’t be held for evaluation or that due to its “suicidal” nature the doctor will have reasonable reason to break my Doctor/Patient Confidentiality.
Many thanks for any thoughts or opinions.
Kind regards. W.
I can see where it would bring a person a sense of relief. You may get evaluated as a result but I would tell your therapist anyway. They might have some insight into the behavior and what it means or how to control it. They are responsible for your mental health and well being so I would give them the benefit of the doubt and let them know.
 
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