stopping my meds tonight

[littlemermaid28]

I have decided that im going to stop taking my citralopram tonight and go cold turkey as I am convinced that they are making me physically and mentally worse off.

I constantly feel like ive got flu or a cold and am always tired,my memory is awful and I cannot concentrate on anything.Initially they helped but I think my body is telling me its time to give them a rest.

I know im going to be really ill for the next couple of weeks but ive got some zoplicone to help me sleep and I want to see what I will feel like without the a/d. Hopefully I wont go completely loopy,have been given some mirtazapine of the doctor to start on but dont think I will take these either...I want to live drug free as Im sure they r makin me worse. anyone any advice or ever felt like this??

 

[Apotheosis]

I know how hard it all is.

 

[mad as a hatter]

i,ve had the same problems with flu like symptoms for the last 2 yrs i,ve had all the tests done and i,ve came 2 the conclusion it,s probabaly my meds and yeah it does get me down at times but u have got 2 out weight things if by coming off them is worth it cause u might end up really ill again and i,ve found it can be a hard road bk from a episode so i stick with my meds and just have 2 put up with the flu like symptoms it,s better than ending up in hospital like i would all i can say is be careful and think about it 1st even discuss it was ur gp say what they say about it all good luck ne way

 

[littlemermaid28]

its just so horibble feeling ill all the time then being depressed,up,down and here there and everywhere on top of that! I just want to see what I will be like without the meds do you know what I mean?

anyway after changing my mind about what to do a million times I have decideded to come down by 10mg a week...I was on 40mg and got down to 30 so now ive gone down to 20mg last nite,I know ill be feeling realy rubbish this afternoon but will see what happens. Ive got a good gp so I can call her if I need her or arrange an appointment. Just trying to cope with each day as it comes as dont know whats in store for me its all so unpredictable! I keep convincing myself Im not ill so maybe im not,keep thinkin its the tablets that are doing it so maybe they are god knows!Maybe im getting a bit more paranoid about everything!

 

[littlemermaid28]

feel like crap

 

[mad as a hatter]

it,s not worth coming off them

 

[skyblue]

I've never taken Citralopram before, but my brother, dad and my mum has. They all complained of the same symptoms (side effects) as you. Constant tiredness and flu type symptoms, so it doesn't surprise me that you're feeling so fed up with it. It really does seem that it's not suitable for you.

Have you spoken to your doctor about weaning yourself off them, he maybe able to help you to make things a bit easier. It's never that easy discontinuing any medications though, I usually feel worse before I feel any better and it can take sometime.

How about cutting your dosages down by 5mg, instead of 10mg ?

I've been on so many different medications and had to wean off so many, I know how it feels and you have my sympathy.

 

[littlemermaid28]

Im feeling much worse tonight,think im only keeping going as I have the children...i dont mean that mentally I mean physically i feel like death warmed up. I just want to be rid of these tablets as soon as possible and hopefully I can feel better,i feel like im being poisined tbh.

Im feeling really sick and light headed today,only had a pasty to eat,the thing is i took some sinus tablets today which have caffine in them and I felt fine until they wore off then felf awful again.I just dont understand whats going on ive no energy whatsoever. Maybe ive got swine flu...i had tonsilitus last week so maybe that was mistaken?

 

[oneday]

Wanted to wish you well with this.

I've posted elsewhere about useful resources for anyone deciding to come off psychiatric drugs. I'd suggest checking out the two websites below, to read around the subject and be well prepared; also get as much support as you can (friends, family, other people who have done it and professionals if you can):

1) The 'Coming Off Psychiatric Medication' website: www.comingoff.com (it's put together by professionals and service users/survivors). The Icarus Project booklet that's available to read/print from the site is really good.

2) Mind also produces a booklet that's available to print/download from their website: www.mind.org.uk It's called 'Making Sense of Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs', and you can also buy a printed version from them

It's my understanding that a slow and steady withdrawal from psychiatric drugs is the best idea, giving your mind and body time to adjust and less chance of adverse withdrawal reactions.

All best.

 

[littlemermaid28]

Oh thankyou so much for your post it was really helpful and I will take a peek at them websites thanks.

Im feeling a bit better today,didnt take any zoplicone last night and only 20mg of citralopram so im much less groggy although still feel weak and if i were to do too much i would feel very bad again,having to take it easy at my age feels very strange to me but I think I have to give myself a break as I have had a horrendous 29 years tbh and think it has taken its toll on my body and mind. Having 2 cheeky monkeys under 4 on my own does not help but I love them to bits and wouldnt be without them!

I feel like my body is fighting its way back slowly,guess these things dont happen over night ey!

 

[Apotheosis]

I feel like my body is fighting its way back slowly,guess these things dont happen over night ey!

Often healing can take years. Go easy on yourself.

 

[littlemermaid28]

I know thats what scares me,its actually facing your demons...i dont want to but I have to in order to get better I think. I think a/d were the answer for a time but they do not help you face what you need to. I know im making the right decision in coming off them but we will see...watch this space haha!

I just hope I am a good mum to my boys and they never go through any of the crap that I went through and are happy and healthy as they are the reason for carrying on most of the time,where would I be without them! I feel like im waking up to alot of things...it happens now and again but then its too hard and you hide away from it all for a few more years! Sorry for bleating on but it really helps to write things down even if no-one reads it!

 

[Apotheosis]

Sorry for bleating on but it really helps to write things down even if no-one reads it!

Don't apologise - that's what an open support forum should be about - writing/discussing as much as we like about our experience. Write more if anything.

 

[littlemermaid28]

I would if i could but its too deep and scary to do...its all so complicated and so many things have happened throughout my life how do you unravel it all??ive been to a counsellor once and she was fab...managed to tell her everything but then found it too hard to keep going back and didnt see the point in going over what had already been and gone...it doesnt change anything does it!

Im hoping that when I go for my assessment at the mental health team I will get reffered to someone to talk to....just dont want to end up feeling like topping myself after I start going into everything and with coming off these meds Ive no buffer there as such.

Guess it just has to be done dosent it...dont want anymore drugs to block things out tho. What do they ask in the assessment?my gp things im bi-polar or cyclothamic,can this be managed without meds??

 

[Apotheosis]

I would if i could but its too deep and scary to do...its all so complicated and so many things have happened throughout my life how do you unravel it all??

Maybe certain things can't be fully resolved? I dunno. I have all this stuff too. I've had to in many ways become my own counsellor.

I have found that talking about things, as much as possible, & discussing things to have been helpful. Other people often have angles & perspective to things that we maybe haven't considered.

ive been to a counsellor once and she was fab...managed to tell her everything but then found it too hard to keep going back and didnt see the point in going over what had already been and gone...it doesnt change anything does it!

I think that it helps to share our story & to share our pain, & for others to understand. I feel that no one understands me. But humans are complex creatures. It can be profound when others acknowledge our experience; our suffering, our being. Maybe some things need going over time & time again.

Im hoping that when I go for my assessment at the mental health team I will get reffered to someone to talk to....just dont want to end up feeling like topping myself after I start going into everything and with coming off these meds Ive no buffer there as such.

It is the difficulty; & the thing that I have found hard too. To have genuine & close support; proper psychological help, & people that genuinely care in our lives can be of immense benefit. Finding such support & assistance can be very hard - especially given the current social/medical climate. I suppose that we have to just look for such things wherever we can find them.

Guess it just has to be done dosent it...dont want anymore drugs to block things out tho. What do they ask in the assessment?my gp things im bi-polar or cyclothamic,can this be managed without meds??

There is the potential for any MH condition (however extreme) to be managed, coped with & recovered from without meds. But don't beat yourself up. In the event of there not being the proper support & help in our lives; then sometimes on balance it is sometimes best to maybe take something, rather than to get in a bad state. It is very individual I think, & should be free choice. I would never tell anyone that they had to take meds, as I would never say to anyone that they shouldn't take them.

All we can do is our best, & to work with what we have got.