• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Stop dehumanising narcissists 🙁

GretaVon

GretaVon

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2021
Messages
152
Location
Europe
I found it funny once when I first met a new friend of one of my best friends, and right away I knew she was a narcissist. She never stopped talking about herself, got bored if the conversation moved away from her, would interrupt, and then called her ex partner a narcissist and said she always attracts narcissists because she's an empath. lol. I had to laugh. Then I left as I was so uncomfortable and bored.

She is no longer in our friendship group.
Indeed, sometimes they are obvious like that.

But you raise an important point.

As awareness of Narcissism spreads, as I think it will in the near future, this is exactly the kind of smear that narcs will use, calling normal people narcs with no basis. It is a problem and perhaps one reason why the health profession is unwilling to tackle narcissism as I feel it should be tackled.
 
slowturtle

slowturtle

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
760
Location
England
Calling people narcissist is quite dangerous and dehumanising is the correct word to use.
That person is placed into a box where they are made to believe that everything they have ever done is a selfish act. Any kindness that they have shown to someone is twisted and everyone else is some kind of saint in comparison. It makes you second guess who you are, it makes you hate yourself.
It is character assasination.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2021
Messages
152
Location
Europe
Calling people narcissist is quite dangerous and dehumanising is the correct word to use.
That person is placed into a box where they are made to believe that everything they have ever done is a selfish act. Any kindness that they have shown to someone is twisted and everyone else is some kind of saint in comparison. It makes you second guess who you are, it makes you hate yourself.
It is character assasination.
There's nothing in this post I'd describe as incorrect.

Society has various ways of dealing with destructive people, and many of these ways are ugly, for lack of a better word.

Narcs are incredibly destructive people, even though much of the destruction they wreak is invisible to most people.

So what is the way to deal with them? Stick your head in the sand?
 
slowturtle

slowturtle

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
760
Location
England
There's nothing in this post I'd describe as incorrect.

Society has various ways of dealing with destructive people, and many of these ways are ugly, for lack of a better word.

Narcs are incredibly destructive people, even though much of the destruction they wreak is invisible to most people.

So what is the way to deal with them? Stick your head in the sand?
As a society we should be humble enough to speak about our own narcissisms rather than judge or accuse others of theirs.
It shows self awareness.
When people talk about narcissists they want to give the impression that 'he/she is evil and I am a good person'
When the reader knows damn well that things are not as simple as that. Infact is probably twisted.
No one can absolve themselves of wrongdoing simply by accusing another, or atleast they cannot make a convincing case for it.
People love to class themselves as empathic and will point out a narcissist with ease, until...
They do the inner work necessary, find their own shadow and realise something major.
Its all part of the journey.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2021
Messages
152
Location
Europe
As a society we should be humble enough to speak about our own narcissisms rather than judge or accuse others of theirs.
This is something narcissists, i.e. people with NPD, never do.

You are effectively saying we should never talk about it.
 
slowturtle

slowturtle

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
760
Location
England
This is something narcissists, i.e. people with NPD, never do.

You are effectively saying we should never talk about it.
so you've heard/been told by fake psychiatrists on youtube. There are groups who are more enlightened and are comfortable talking about it amongst each other, as opposed to the demonising and dehumanising of another
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2021
Messages
152
Location
Europe
so you've heard/been told by fake psychiatrists on youtube. There are groups who are more enlightened and are comfortable talking about it amongst each other, as opposed to the demonising and dehumanising of another
You know, narcissist enabling is pretty serious too. A lot of demonizing and dehumanizing comes from that.
 
slowturtle

slowturtle

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
760
Location
England
You know, narcissist enabling is pretty serious too. A lot of demonizing and dehumanizing comes from that.
You are way off the mark. I'm not saying they dont exist or they should be enabled. I am saying what gives you the right to label one?
Its no more than a word, a label. The problem is with how it is used to pick apart someones character, by people who have no business saying such things.
As if they themselves have no ego.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2021
Messages
152
Location
Europe
You are way off the mark. I'm not saying they dont exist or they should be enabled. I am saying what gives you the right to label one?
Its no more than a word, a label. The problem is with how it is used to pick apart someones character, by people who have no business saying such things.
As if they themselves have no ego.
Should we list the abusers that have been enabled by not being labeled?
 
T E_90

T E_90

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2021
Messages
239
Location
__
You're trying to show a competence, by writing catchy sentences, found around YouTube and web...
I'll repeat what I've said,
using the label 'narcissist' wherever there is apparent selfishness or fair criticism, it shows ignorance.
Are you maybe a qualified psychiatrist expert in NPD?
If so your focusing on it would make sense, since from the beginning, you're going around dispensing sure ideas and diagnosis based just on people's posts, when in fact, it takes time to understand a person's personality.
And you also seems determined on making a point, that one model for NPD is useless, where the other is correct...
Yes, everyone has the freedom to speech and opinion, but here many things could throw weird ideas in the heads of people you don't really know how they would react once done reading in here, and they could be helpful as well as dangerous.
Yours are merely opinions, and even if based on what you think are facts, they remains just opinions until proven contrary, as others 'experts' could disagree with you, and one method of evaluation could work for one and being bad for another.
Your help, even if with all the best interests, is based on what people perception is of themselves or of others, wich is usually far from reality, since it depends from the circumstances of each, and you couldn't know them for sure.
Just a professional, after talking in person and for long, may understand if the perception of the patient is true or just part of other issues (not necessarily connected to narcissism).
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
1,935
I'd also be interested to know if @GretaVon is a registered psychiatrist or qualified psychologist.

I myself am neither, however qualification-wise, I'm OVER qualified to be a therapist but not qualified to be a psychologist.
 
T

turnitoffandonagain_again

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
1,102
Location
UK
Though there are professional codes in place now (since Goldwater) that say psychiatrists aren't allowed to do that for public figures - even when it's glaringly obvious, as with Trump. Which basically means only those who lack sufficient power and privilege to avoid being caught up in the mental health system get to be labelled that way. It's another way in which psychiatry is intensely political.
 
T

turnitoffandonagain_again

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
1,102
Location
UK
I mean, everyone points at the political nature of 'Soviet Psychiatry' - where the underlying idea was Soviet society was perfect, therefore anyone who was unhappy with any aspect of it had to be mentally-ill. But to me, western psychiatry doesn't seem all that different - it seems to have the same underlying assumption, just a mirror image of it. Especially so with CBT.
 
T

turnitoffandonagain_again

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
1,102
Location
UK
Should we list the abusers that have been enabled by not being labeled?
Well the trouble with that list is (a) one wouldn't know where to start, and (b) it would never end.

Generally you could just sum it up as "anyone with political or economic power". And it would include more than a few mental health professionals.
 

Similar threads

Top