Still struggling.

S

sunnybee

Member
Joined
May 9, 2018
Messages
7
#1
Hello everyone, it’s been a while.

Currently, I’m on holiday and unable to sleep because of thoughts in my head.
I don’t want to bother anyone I’m with since they’re sleeping and I need to let this out!

Lately, sex for me has been very difficult. It always feels (to me) like I HAVE to do it, even if I’m not forced. I’ve been avoiding it for a while now and I feel guilty over how it makes me feel.

One guy said he knew I was uncomfortable but he didn’t want to stop, and I can’t stop thinking about that. There was consent at the start, but as it progressed I was more and more uncomfortable and disliked it more, and felt so unhappy with what he had said to me. My close friends know about this but I feel guilty for talking about it and being so distressed because I know that isn’t bad.

You can check my past posts for my history of sexual abuse & the story on what that guy said to me there.

Can anyone help with this guilt and with this pressure to have sex?
I know it’s complicated but I need help.

Thank you all
 
T

treasurebox

Active member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
36
Location
Philippines
#2
I hope you find it in your heart to forgive and forget the past no matter how hard it is to forgive and forget.

When negative thoughts come in to you, do not entertain them, switch your thoughts to something good and positive. It maybe hard at first but you will be victorious and you will overcome.
 
S

S.Anthony

Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2018
Messages
5
#3
I'm so sorry you are struggling. Healing from past sexual abuse can be a long difficult road and it is okay to not have sex. It is okay to admit you feel uncomfortable with it and walk away from it for awhile, or how ever long you need. I do suggest seeking a counselor that will be able to walk you through these feelings.
I pray you most importantly find peace and healing in your heart. I pray you have a successful journey of rediscovering your worth and how valuable you are. Please don't feel guilty for being uncomfortable. That is your body telling you something. Weather it be you are not healed yet, that you are not ready or that you need time to rediscover you. Best wishes!
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,801
Location
England
#4
Hi,
You can chat to me, in pm or on the thread. I'm sorry your struggling.
Please see a therapist, one who specialises in helping survivors.
You are very brave.
It's okay to say no at anytime, you've been taken advantage off.
You will heal, it just takes time.
Hugs.
Take care
 

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