• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Still Kicking

Zardos

Zardos

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
2,460
I'm still alive guys.. But I'm in a slump.. I've stopped eating.. Shopping.. Shaving.. I look a right mess.. But I don't have the energy to do anything about it.. I spend my days watching YouTube videos about nuclear war in the eighties.. its no wonder that I grew up depressed.. I remember a time when it was 'when' the bombs fall not 'if'......
The future sure isn't what I thought it would be.. I thought we'd all be dead by now...

I can't concentrate for very long... I keep drifting off to dark places.. and when I come round I catch myself staring into space and dribbling like a moron...
The good news is I don't have to get up in the morning.. The cupboards and fridge are all jammed full of stuff.. theres no room for anything else....

I'm having trouble remembering things.. its all a blur.. Or do I mean a mess ?

Anyway I not dead yet... If you were wondering... Not that you should.. I thought just in case you mite :shrug:

Hugs :hug:
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
I'm barely eating, shaving, and showering myself. I have been in a dark place for so long. I don't see a way out. But do please eat. I'm sorry you feel so bad. I have been worrying about you even though I've never met you. I wish I could put some positivity on this thread but I can't as I feel too negative mentally and physically. Thanks for letting us know how you are. I can't offer any advice but at least I can try to support you Zardos. :hug::hug::hug:
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
34,151
Location
8,539
it's tough Zardos,

No advice from me I'm afraid.
 
Zardos

Zardos

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
2,460
Thanks guys :hug:

I literally feel faint.. I never really got what people meant when they would say that before.. I feel sick and dizzy.. its worse when I stand up... When I do it feels like all the blood in my head runs cold and rushes away from my head.. it feels like I have just done the ice bucket challenge thing...
I still don't want to eat... My parents stopped by today.. They didn't come in.. Just stayed in the car long enough to drop off some co-codamol... Maybe its that that is making me sick... I dunno...
Didn't make it to bed last night.. Ended up passed out on top of it.. So I slept in my clothes and left everything on again.. I'm worried I'm going to burn this place down one time doing that...
Decided to take tomorrow off as well.. Still don't need anything... Money's piling up again to... When I think of all the times in my life when I was broke and in need of a couple of bucks.... Makes you sick.. Don't it ? its either too much or to little.. I suppose I should just shut my yap and enjoy it... But I don't really need it now...

I don't feel well at all... But actually its easier to cope with than sitting here just board out of my brains.. The sickness draws my focus and occupies my mind... Who was it that said if you can remain detached enough you can even find a shit storm fascinating ? Does anybody know ?
Thats how I feel.. Fascinated.. I'm curious to see what's going to happen next... I'm still drinking lots of sugar...Coca Cola and cups of tea... why isn't that enough ?
I'm on course with my meds.. I have just enough to get me through to next week... So as long as I don't do anything silly.. I won't run out..

its nearly bed time again.. How did that happen ? Time is going by really really fast.. I took a picture of the clock on the wall with my phone at six o'clock... Now at nearly nine the hour hand has clearly moved.. Three hours in a blink of an eye...

Its Tuesday ! I had to check... I don't think I'm missing anything.. I don't think I'll be missed tomorrow.. My sons away this week.. and he's the only one who talks to me... So I don't know weather I exist today or not... I could of died and be a ghost rattling around this place.. I dunno anymore... :scratcheshead:
 
exyz

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,773
Hello Zardos,
I'm not up to posting tonight, brain dead, which is my default position.
Just wanted to say though, that I'm looking in :peace:
 
Zardos

Zardos

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
2,460
Hello Zardos,
I'm not up to posting tonight, brain dead, which is my default position.
Just wanted to say though, that I'm looking in
Thanks exyz :hug:

Sorry you are not up to posting tonight... Don't worry about it... its still nice of you to be looking in :hug:
 
sunset547544

sunset547544

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
720
Location
UK, London
Hi Zardos,

I am sorry to hear how much you are suffering. I wish I could write something that might help you, but when I play it back in my head it all sounds wrong. I hope you can find something beautifal to bring you a bit of genuine peace soon.

Sunset.
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
661
Location
India
I rarely shave myself either. If people have a problem with that, they can seek therapy for themselves. :cool:
 
Top