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STILL DEPRESSED.

Blooming

Blooming

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Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
565
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mycountry
I don't know where to put this, in the Corona section, the Depression section or the Anxiety section.

I chose this Depression section, as you can see. I was mildly depressed when the Corona virus hit us. The lockdown has been almost unbearable this spring. Something happened to me in February. A person with a severe Mental disorder, did something to me. It doesn't matter what it was. What matters, however, is that that event triggered an old memory and made me feel worthless and friendless.

The problem now is not what was triggered, if that makes sense. It is about that it is so difficult to to go on in life because of the situation with the Corona virus is still lasting. I know that I will have my second dose of the vaccine in three weeks and be able to live more normally one week after that. But I feel that the Corona situation has robbed me from my full potential to function socially. I forget what to say in ordinary situations and so on. I have been so isolated during the Lock down, that it has put it's marks on me.

It is like as if I use all my inner recourses to keep going, still more or less isolated, and now and then all the desperation and loneliness break through. Some moments ago I felt like as if there was no more breath in me. I even started to cry. I used my asthma spray and took a Valium (not allowed), but at least it calmed me down.

I like to be independent, I have never been anybody's burden. I want that to continue, but so I have these "break through's" of inner tension.

Can anybody identify? I don't want advice, because I already know what works for me. I want to be recognized, to be seen as a normal person with normal reactions to not normal life situations.
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
565
Location
mycountry
I have to say that I feel really disapointed that nobody was able to for one second step into my shoes and say: "I am not in your situation, but I understand your struggle". :low:
 
Z

ZechariahElijah

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 16, 2021
Messages
183
Location
United States
Sorry you've been having a rough time. It's no fun to struggle and Covid just made things worse. Praying things will improve for you.
 
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