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Still alone, cant find anyone.

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blankstare

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
52
Location
oklahoma
I cant find that someone to share life with. Im lonely to the max. I struggle to generate enthusiasm for anything. Ive always been alone, no relationship experience. I meet people but theyre never interested in me beyond friendship if even acquaintence. Im tired of being alone. Im tired of doing everything alone. Going anywhere, waking up, eating, watching a movie, etc. I do everything alone and I just cant enjoy any of it anymore. Is it absurd that I feel so hollow because of it? I dont seek validation from someone. I simply want someone to want to be with me. I just cant form that sort of connection with anyone for some reason. I need someone to love me. I need to feel their warmth next to me. I need someone to let me love them. Am I wrong to feel so worthless? How can I not when no one has ever given me even a second glance? I am unwanted and I dont know why. Is loneliness a valid reason to not want to go on anymore? I know there are others with much worse problems than I. I wonder if this emptiness I feel is valid enough to be so unhappy. I often feel self-indulgent of my sadness. Like I have no right to feel so bad compared to others. I cant help how I feel though. All I know is I need love but I have no one, and its killing me slowly.
 
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WhatSarahSaid

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2020
Messages
147
Location
New York
It's human nature to be social and develop companionship with another person. What you're feeling is definitely understandable. It's unfortunate that right now we can't really be social, at least in person. You should consider getting a pet, if you're able to. My cat is wonderful, and so loving. I know it's not the same as having another person to share life with, but it might help some in the mean time. :hug:
 
J

JaneDonald

Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Washington DC
I am so sorry you're going through this. I know the feeling to some degree, I feel a need to love someone and have someone love me-- I hate being alone and sad. But really, how can we find a good relationship when we aren't even happy with ourselves? I have spent many years in therapy learning that even if the perfect partner falls into your lap, it won't work out if you aren't happy with yourself. I often feel worthless and unwanted and my self esteem and confidence are so low that I don't know how to continue. But like me, you're NOT unwanted. There are so many people in this world and it just takes patience to find the right people. Isn't it better for the right partner to take many years to find you than to find someone immediately and end up in a broken relationship? It's okay to feel unhappy and sad that you're lonely. But don't give up on yourself or on others. Maybe try therapy and a new hobby (maybe you'll meet someone there!) Sending you love and prayers
 
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blankstare

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
52
Location
oklahoma
I am so sorry you're going through this. I know the feeling to some degree, I feel a need to love someone and have someone love me-- I hate being alone and sad. But really, how can we find a good relationship when we aren't even happy with ourselves? I have spent many years in therapy learning that even if the perfect partner falls into your lap, it won't work out if you aren't happy with yourself. I often feel worthless and unwanted and my self esteem and confidence are so low that I don't know how to continue. But like me, you're NOT unwanted. There are so many people in this world and it just takes patience to find the right people. Isn't it better for the right partner to take many years to find you than to find someone immediately and end up in a broken relationship? It's okay to feel unhappy and sad that you're lonely. But don't give up on yourself or on others. Maybe try therapy and a new hobby (maybe you'll meet someone there!) Sending you love and prayers
Patience at my age is a luxury I cant afford. Im getting nothing but older every day.
 
DistantOcean

DistantOcean

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
105
Location
Netherlands
I am 26 and have not been in a relationship either. At the moment I am searching for my significant other but I also feel as though I am too broken to be able to find someone. I love myself but I don't love life. It is a tough journey. Keep investing in growing as a person. Try to find loving friendships. And like Sarah suggested, I would invest time in raising a pet, you will be surprised at how unconditional their love can be.
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
189
Location
mycountry
There is a dating site for people with mental disorders. It is called "no longer lonely". Have no idea if it works. A good profile at a dating page for all kinds of people can work as well if you describe who you are and what you want. Some dating pages even have a match making service.

When it comes to your depession, you can mention it as something OK: "Hope yua re nat afraid of people who have experience with depression?"

Don't give in! :hug:
 
S

sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
528
Location
USA
Hello blankstare, are you a male or a female? I am an inexperienced female looking for my male counterpart. Maybe we can talk to each other?
 
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Medusalinks

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
64
Location
Yorkshire
I cant find that someone to share life with. Im lonely to the max. I struggle to generate enthusiasm for anything. Ive always been alone, no relationship experience. I meet people but theyre never interested in me beyond friendship if even acquaintence. Im tired of being alone. Im tired of doing everything alone. Going anywhere, waking up, eating, watching a movie, etc. I do everything alone and I just cant enjoy any of it anymore. Is it absurd that I feel so hollow because of it? I dont seek validation from someone. I simply want someone to want to be with me. I just cant form that sort of connection with anyone for some reason. I need someone to love me. I need to feel their warmth next to me. I need someone to let me love them. Am I wrong to feel so worthless? How can I not when no one has ever given me even a second glance? I am unwanted and I dont know why. Is loneliness a valid reason to not want to go on anymore? I know there are others with much worse problems than I. I wonder if this emptiness I feel is valid enough to be so unhappy. I often feel self-indulgent of my sadness. Like I have no right to feel so bad compared to others. I cant help how I feel though. All I know is I need love but I have no one, and its killing me slowly.
I think it’s quite common to feel this way when you’re depressed. My self esteem goes to minus zero and I feel worthless. All seems part of the depressed parcel. Then confidence lifts when the dark cloud moves. Also as other reply says you need to be happy with yourself first.What age are you? Do you mind me asking? As there is a saying it’s never too late.
 
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blankstare

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
52
Location
oklahoma
I think it’s quite common to feel this way when you’re depressed. My self esteem goes to minus zero and I feel worthless. All seems part of the depressed parcel. Then confidence lifts when the dark cloud moves. Also as other reply says you need to be happy with yourself first.What age are you? Do you mind me asking? As there is a saying it’s never too late.
I am now approaching 37. I am depressed because of the loneliness. I try to meet people, no body ever reciprocates interest for whatever reason. I work, I take care of my house, I invite people I know over all the time. No one ever comes. I try to get to know new people that happen to catch my eye. They are never accepting of my offers to go out. Its all so exhausting. Getting rejected even by just friends to hang out every once in a while, let alone asking someone out to only be rejected. I can only assume Im simply not attractive to anyone. So at this age its become vitrually impossible to do anything enjoyable and actually enjoy it. I have no one to share experiences with.
 
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Medusalinks

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
64
Location
Yorkshire
I am now approaching 37. I am depressed because of the loneliness. I try to meet people, no body ever reciprocates interest for whatever reason. I work, I take care of my house, I invite people I know over all the time. No one ever comes. I try to get to know new people that happen to catch my eye. They are never accepting of my offers to go out. Its all so exhausting. Getting rejected even by just friends to hang out every once in a while, let alone asking someone out to only be rejected. I can only assume Im simply not attractive to anyone. So at this age its become vitrually impossible to do anything enjoyable and actually enjoy it. I have no one to share experiences with.
I am now approaching 37. I am depressed because of the loneliness. I try to meet people, no body ever reciprocates interest for whatever reason. I work, I take care of my house, I invite people I know over all the time. No one ever comes. I try to get to know new people that happen to catch my eye. They are never accepting of my offers to go out. Its all so exhausting. Getting rejected even by just friends to hang out every once in a while, let alone asking someone out to only be rejected. I can only assume Im simply not attractive to anyone. So at this age its become vitrually impossible to do anything enjoyable and actually enjoy it. I have no one to share experiences with.
You’re still only 37 and you sound so positive,the fact you’re trying to initiate friendships, and make an effort. That’s hard to stay positive when depressed. I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before you meet someone. Sometimes you’ve got to pass a lot of closed doors before one opens.
I know from experience how the loneliness can deepen the depression and I find when I’m down it can make it hard to mingle and be upbeat around people. So stay positive. I know that’s easier said than done.
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
189
Location
mycountry
I am now approaching 37. I am depressed because of the loneliness. I try to meet people, no body ever reciprocates interest for whatever reason. I work, I take care of my house, I invite people I know over all the time. No one ever comes. I try to get to know new people that happen to catch my eye. They are never accepting of my offers to go out. Its all so exhausting. Getting rejected even by just friends to hang out every once in a while, let alone asking someone out to only be rejected. I can only assume Im simply not attractive to anyone. So at this age its become vitrually impossible to do anything enjoyable and actually enjoy it. I have no one to share experiences with.
Don't invite people who show you so little respect. If I were you, I would have tried to find an organization were you can do somthing for free. Help bringing food, cloths or other too the needy, or something comlpete different ... The point is that if you find a place where you feel well using your capacity, you will probably find friends (doing the same voluntair work). It can be a Church, Red Cross, a Buddhist comunity or whatever as long as you feel well with it. :hug:
 
M

Medusalinks

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
64
Location
Yorkshire
Don't invite people who show you so little respect. If I were you, I would have tried to find an organization were you can do somthing for free. Help bringing food, cloths or other too the needy, or something comlpete different ... The point is that if you find a place where you feel well using your capacity, you will probably find friends (doing the same voluntair work). It can be a Church, Red Cross, a Buddhist comunity or whatever as long as you feel well with it. :hug:
Ye that’s very true.
 
V

ValentinaF

Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Romania
I cant find that someone to share life with. Im lonely to the max. I struggle to generate enthusiasm for anything. Ive always been alone, no relationship experience. I meet people but theyre never interested in me beyond friendship if even acquaintence. Im tired of being alone. Im tired of doing everything alone. Going anywhere, waking up, eating, watching a movie, etc. I do everything alone and I just cant enjoy any of it anymore. Is it absurd that I feel so hollow because of it? I dont seek validation from someone. I simply want someone to want to be with me. I just cant form that sort of connection with anyone for some reason. I need someone to love me. I need to feel their warmth next to me. I need someone to let me love them. Am I wrong to feel so worthless? How can I not when no one has ever given me even a second glance? I am unwanted and I dont know why. Is loneliness a valid reason to not want to go on anymore? I know there are others with much worse problems than I. I wonder if this emptiness I feel is valid enough to be so unhappy. I often feel self-indulgent of my sadness. Like I have no right to feel so bad compared to others. I cant help how I feel though. All I know is I need love but I have no one, and its killing me slowly.
Same here ..😕
 
V

ValentinaF

Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Romania
I am now approaching 37. I am depressed because of the loneliness. I try to meet people, no body ever reciprocates interest for whatever reason. I work, I take care of my house, I invite people I know over all the time. No one ever comes. I try to get to know new people that happen to catch my eye. They are never accepting of my offers to go out. Its all so exhausting. Getting rejected even by just friends to hang out every once in a while, let alone asking someone out to only be rejected. I can only assume Im simply not attractive to anyone. So at this age its become vitrually impossible to do anything enjoyable and actually enjoy it. I have no one to share experiences with.
If you want to chat let me know
 
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