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Step Sister disowned me because of political differences/step dads abuse

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YouCanBeAnything999

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Jun 22, 2018
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North East England
Step Sister disowned me because of political differences/step dads abuse

Basically long story short, ten years ago my family broke apart. My then step brother (now sister) attempted suicide, and my step dad used and abused him with no regard for his health. My step brother was incredibly unwell mentally obviously, and sided with my step dad who had beaten my mum on several occasions even breaking her nose in front of us when we were little. This is all documented, with proof so it isn't hearsay. My mum was very scared and did her best to get us out, and he went back and I kept in touch even though I (very obviously disagreed).

As the years followed, I attempted to keep in touch via social media etc. I cut my step dad out as he took no responsibility etc, typical abuser and I got into an argument with my then step brother about eight years ago where he DEFENDED my step dad, saying he had "made mistakes" and strongly defended him. Again, I kept contact and periodically would check up.

He then became "she" and i accepted that too. Again attempted to keep contact, to no avail (all one sided). So two days ago, my half sister and my new sister and my mum added me to a group chat. In this group chat, my half sister*old brother hereby OB* told my half sister as she said she wanted to work for the police, that if she worked for the police she was "an oppressor". My half sister obviously got upset, as she said she wanted to make a difference. OB told her that she was basically being fooled; people cant make a difference within the system so she left the group chat.

I responded defending my sister, saying that if she wanted to do it there was nothing wrong with it. I explained I knew the police werent perfect in the UK and there is definitely racism but if my sister wanted to join it doesn't make her a bad person. OB tries saying all shes trying to do is inform her to do research, but I quoted her and said you told her she would be an oppressor. She confirmed she said this.

I went on to say generalising of ANY sort is wrong, from race to religion and she wouldn't like it if SHE was generalised. She ended up blocking me, from all social media and APOLOGISING to my sister and mum but not me. Apparently, I am a racist bigot and I was making the abuse worse in our childhood *by deliberately trying to provoke my step dad* when I was 17 and he was 45 and a black belt in marshall arts and three times my size. I was terrified of him, I only ever shouted at him ONCE and it was when he was buying my then brother drugs and alcohol after his suicide attempt to get him to stay in our old house so he could keep it in the divorce.

I understand I am right to have stood by my mum and sister, but obviously I am upset I have lost another family member to brainwashing. Can anyone help me?
 
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Helena1

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It was only 2 days ago, she will probably calm down and you will be back to being fine in a bit.
 
static void

static void

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It seems like your sister held a lot of things inside, and it's common for people to lash out when they they've been wronged for so long, expecially if they don't make peace with their demons. This is why a lot of relationships are fragile, one step in the wrong direction an chaos ensues. Don't enter the cold war. Don't avoid her either.
People come back into families because they feel more understood. If you have it in you, reach out to her and take responsibility, even if you don’t agree with the intensity of her feelings.
 
Drooo

Drooo

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This is a big problem in the West at the moment. People are being divided along political/idealogical lines and being manipulated and provoked by the media et al to drive these divisions even further, with reactions and behaviour encouraged along emotional lines instead of critical thinking. We're now at a point where a story can be spread and people will believe it, get angry about it and vent about it, all pretty much without thinking. It's mind control 101.
It has created a left-right divide that is far larger and far more hostile than it has been in a long, long time. With mental illness involved it's a very bad mixture. Hopefully they haven't gone quite as far as being involved with groups like Antifa yet?

I guess the only thing you can do is to try not to anger the beast directly. You can show your support for your other sibling and if the other kicks out against it like they have done, then leave them to it. You shouldn't feel like you have to pander to them because they're acting like an angry little child. Be as cordial as you can be but ultimately draw a line in the sand for yourself so that you only go so far.
 
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YouCanBeAnything999

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Joined
Jun 22, 2018
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Location
North East England
This is a big problem in the West at the moment. People are being divided along political/idealogical lines and being manipulated and provoked by the media et al to drive these divisions even further, with reactions and behaviour encouraged along emotional lines instead of critical thinking. We're now at a point where a story can be spread and people will believe it, get angry about it and vent about it, all pretty much without thinking. It's mind control 101.
It has created a left-right divide that is far larger and far more hostile than it has been in a long, long time. With mental illness involved it's a very bad mixture. Hopefully they haven't gone quite as far as being involved with groups like Antifa yet?

I guess the only thing you can do is to try not to anger the beast directly. You can show your support for your other sibling and if the other kicks out against it like they have done, then leave them to it. You shouldn't feel like you have to pander to them because they're acting like an angry little child. Be as cordial as you can be but ultimately draw a line in the sand for yourself so that you only go so far.
I don't know if she is involved with Antifa. My OB blocked me and told my mum shes never speaking to me again due to the reasons outlined above, and I don't expect to hear from her again. I think really, this is about me; I am really, really angry. I've never spoken to my step dad since and the idea that there is this narrative out there that kids were responsible for a grown mans actions is insane (I'm now a dad myself). OB is rather far out there politically on the left, and I think I surprised her with the strength of my defence but I didn't mean minorities have it easy, I meant generalising of any sort is wrong...
 
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YouCanBeAnything999

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Update

So basically when my OB said this about me she never said it to me directly. This morning I asked through mum if I could talk to her, she said no because she's not interested in the situation anymore and doesn't find me interesting enough to interact with, and this is with me saying I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding. I then countered, with a very good counter because I realised the reason she doesn't find me interesting, the reason she doesn't know me is all on her; For years I attempted contact and to rebuild a relationship I was never responsible for breaking. I also mentioned the truth; That I have fought against racism for years, both in person and online and I am not a bigot at all, that I was proud of her for identifying as a woman and so forth. I left it at that, because it's true and yeah, most likely thats the end of it.
 
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