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I get these negative feedback loops often, but have learnt to control them, mostly, to rationalise them in a way that does me the least harm.
If you are overly self-conscious and socially anxious it becomes increasingly difficult to talk freely and naturally. If you then attribute the cause of the problem to external factors, rather than your own natural thinking processes, you add another layer of anxiety and so effectively you will anticipate an effect before an event and then make it happen. this then gives you the impression that the paranoid explanation has been evidenced. and on it goes.
It's a horrible experience to be caught up in all this. and i know how it can drive you into solitude. it's emotionally overwhelming.
even though I've explored and analysed these processes very deeply, I still get them - although the more strssed out and overloaded I am, the worse they become and harder to control.
i'm sorry you are going through this. i'm not telling you how to think, just offering an alternative point of view.