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Starting to hate everyone and everything

  • Thread starter Sapphirepenguin9900
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Sapphirepenguin9900

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Does anyone else start to feel like this? I feel like everyone is against me, like no one understands. I don't fit in anywhere. No matter how nice people are I just start to hate everyone and everything. Then I start wanting to be horrible to everyone, because what is the point. Everyone just leaves me anyway and when they do that just proves my point. I am done caring, everyone else is crappy to me so why should I bother being nice.
 
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itsmeagain

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This is a common feeling among sensitive people who have suffered too much in like and are sick of it.
 
Nutsy

Nutsy

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It takes exactly the same amount of effort to be nice as it does to be nasty, and being nice generally (not always) gets better results.

You can't control other people or how they treat you, but you can control yourself and how you treat others.
 
HLon99

HLon99

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You cannot judge people at face value. People are not monoliths; no one is purely always a saint or a sinner. There are many shades of grey in the world. Treat people with quiet equanimity and focus on trying to be the best that you can be. If someone does something to hurt or upset you, its best to rise above it than drop down to their level or fall into misanthropy.

Although you might feel angry at the world around you, sometimes the problem starts within, as anger is often just externalised depression. This is something that you need to work on, whether on your own or with the help of a therapist. Once you discover and address the root cause of your unhappiness, you will not only find your perception of people gradually change but you will also find that you can bring out the best in people. Whether we like iit or not, it is our duty to be our brother's keeper.

I know all this is easier said than done for a person with BPD, but you have to try. If you let your feelings of abandoment and black and white thinking consume you, you will push away everything that you love and cherish. Learn to value and respect yourself and the people in your life.
 
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2Much2Feel

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HLon99 nailed it, in my opinion. Wish I'd read his/her response before I shot off my last post to someone pissing me off. Yes, w BPD in particular, it is SO easy to feel rejected, to feel like people in general suck, that there is no point. But the times I've felt the absolute worst about myself have been the times I prejudged someone to be an ass, acted on that perception, and then realised I was totally wrong. For instance, driving, certain that the person in front of me is purposefully driving 5 under just to get to me, control me, etc. I honk, only to have it be an elderly man who then asked me if I needed to come in and borrow his phone, as he could see I was lost. (this was years before cell phones, yet it still sticks w me)

That is the worst feeling. And yes, I've made similar mistakes since then, have to keep learning it. We don't know what someone else is going through, what's going on in their heads, who they are, but it's really easy to jump to that rage zone and think we do.

I hope this forum is helpful to you. A lot of us have the same feelings.
 
AlrightOkay

AlrightOkay

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I appreciate sausages. I have been thinking about some Cumberland sausages I bought yesterday. Try and focus on good things.
 
HLon99

HLon99

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HLon99 nailed it, in my opinion. Wish I'd read his/her response before I shot off my last post to someone pissing me off. Yes, w BPD in particular, it is SO easy to feel rejected, to feel like people in general suck, that there is no point. But the times I've felt the absolute worst about myself have been the times I prejudged someone to be an ass, acted on that perception, and then realised I was totally wrong. For instance, driving, certain that the person in front of me is purposefully driving 5 under just to get to me, control me, etc. I honk, only to have it be an elderly man who then asked me if I needed to come in and borrow his phone, as he could see I was lost. (this was years before cell phones, yet it still sticks w me)

That is the worst feeling. And yes, I've made similar mistakes since then, have to keep learning it. We don't know what someone else is going through, what's going on in their heads, who they are, but it's really easy to jump to that rage zone and think we do.

I hope this forum is helpful to you. A lot of us have the same feelings.
Never jump to conclusions about the motivation behind people's actions. Its never possible to truly pin it down and there is usually more to it than you think. So act reasonably, with restraint and dignity.
 
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aero89

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You explain things really clearly @HLon99. For me its hard to let go of the distrust of everyone. But youre right this feeling is something inside.

I've been told since I was born that we were not safe. It's communicated to us by all our community. To always look over your shoulder. History confirms their messages. This feeling is always there in me. Don't trust any one
 
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aero89

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@Sapphirepenguin9900 i feel like I'm hijacking your post. But I also feel like everyone is out to get me, like I don't fit in.....etc (also I can relate to the thing about driving... Taking other people's driving personally.)

Part of me knows this isn't true as I experience a lot of kindness but instead of recognising and accepting this I'm looking for and responding to what confirms my negative feelings and beliefs. Looking for criticism and rejection. I create this reality much of the time.

I look for the darkness in the world and in people when really I've found light. I believe that I bring out the darkness in others too.

As you said @HLon99 it's about seeing the grey not just everything as black or white.

Are you getting any support @Sapphirepenguin9900
 
HLon99

HLon99

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You explain things really clearly @HLon99. For me its hard to let go of the distrust of everyone. But youre right this feeling is something inside.

I've been told since I was born that we were not safe. It's communicated to us by all our community. To always look over your shoulder. History confirms their messages. This feeling is always there in me. Don't trust any one
Being vigilant is good, being paranoid isn't. Its all about moderation.
 

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