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Starting new job tomorrow, so stressed.

B

Blackwolf

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Tomorrow I'm going to work after half a year of being home jobless. I'm so stressed it is paralysing. Help
 
A

albagobragh

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May 17, 2019
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Well done you for finding a job - it is difficult in this climate. In the past I was looking for a job for 5 months and was stressed about starting when I found one. The thing is, it was fine once I was in the door and I'm sure it will be for you too. Good luck!
 
B

Blackwolf

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Well done you for finding a job - it is difficult in this climate. In the past I was looking for a job for 5 months and was stressed about starting when I found one. The thing is, it was fine once I was in the door and I'm sure it will be for you too. Good luck!
Thx, I'm trying but I can't get this stress out of me.
 
M

mixedbag

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Use the stress, that's what I do.. there's a rush type of feeling to it right? So use it and steer it.

You can't stop thoughts popping in your head, most are easy to push away. But when we get a thought of anxiety, fear, or anger, it will linger because it produces a physical change. The heart rate goes up, the brain speeds up, you're suddenly more alert. It takes a few minutes to get that shit to shut down. So in the meantime, if you want to spend that time thinking about all the things to worry about, you'll make those fears bigger and bigger.. or you could use that "rush" to think about the cool stuff you're going to be able to pay for.

Every time you think something nervous IMMEDIATELY answers it with, YEAH BUT I'm going have ........ with the money I earn or, That might be true, but it's true for everyone and start thinking about the things you're looking forward to about having work, and independence and money. Don't allow your nerves to make you feel like you're on a terrifying island. Everyone at your workplace remembers their first day. You can really use those nerves to induce your excitement rather than your fear, but you have to cut that thought down in the bud. Keep reminding yourself, this is all small stuff that everyone goes through and nobody remembers weeks later when they've settled in.

Almost all of our fear thoughts are soothed with logical ones it's just a matter of finding the right one that fits that snaps you out of your amygdala and back over to the rational part of your brain.

I don't know the thoughts you're having but a typical internal conversation for most of us might go like this

- What if everyone ignores me? Well, they might, but they're not going to ignore me forever. Sometimes getting to know people at work is instant sometimes it's not. But at LEAST I'll be able to afford to go out with my friends by the end of this month even if they do all ignore me. (Btw, they probably won't)

- What if I do or say something stupid? It's your first day, you probably will. Just like everyone else. The staff there probably already know what you're going to do wrong because they watched everyone else new do it too. Who cares? We're getting paid to be here! Some first day mistakes are so common, that certain places I've worked already have the jokes and pranks lined up. Ask me for a story, I got a few.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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\_(ツ)_/
Well done!!! I have been back at work for about a year. I also took 1 1/2 years off work.

Pace yourself and don’t forget about self care. I really hope you succeed.
 
B

Blackwolf

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
120
Location
Poland
Use the stress, that's what I do.. there's a rush type of feeling to it right? So use it and steer it.

You can't stop thoughts popping in your head, most are easy to push away. But when we get a thought of anxiety, fear, or anger, it will linger because it produces a physical change. The heart rate goes up, the brain speeds up, you're suddenly more alert. It takes a few minutes to get that shit to shut down. So in the meantime, if you want to spend that time thinking about all the things to worry about, you'll make those fears bigger and bigger.. or you could use that "rush" to think about the cool stuff you're going to be able to pay for.

Every time you think something nervous IMMEDIATELY answers it with, YEAH BUT I'm going have ........ with the money I earn or, That might be true, but it's true for everyone and start thinking about the things you're looking forward to about having work, and independence and money. Don't allow your nerves to make you feel like you're on a terrifying island. Everyone at your workplace remembers their first day. You can really use those nerves to induce your excitement rather than your fear, but you have to cut that thought down in the bud. Keep reminding yourself, this is all small stuff that everyone goes through and nobody remembers weeks later when they've settled in.

Almost all of our fear thoughts are soothed with logical ones it's just a matter of finding the right one that fits that snaps you out of your amygdala and back over to the rational part of your brain.

I don't know the thoughts you're having but a typical internal conversation for most of us might go like this

- What if everyone ignores me? Well, they might, but they're not going to ignore me forever. Sometimes getting to know people at work is instant sometimes it's not. But at LEAST I'll be able to afford to go out with my friends by the end of this month even if they do all ignore me. (Btw, they probably won't)

- What if I do or say something stupid? It's your first day, you probably will. Just like everyone else. The staff there probably already know what you're going to do wrong because they watched everyone else new do it too. Who cares? We're getting paid to be here! Some first day mistakes are so common, that certain places I've worked already have the jokes and pranks lined up. Ask me for a story, I got a few.
Thx, I feel a bit better.
I don't even know why I'm scared. I tell myself that if it will be bad or if it will be too much I don't have to be there. That I can leave any second I for example go back to petstore where they always need employees and I wasn't stressed there at all (but it comes with veeeery little money)
I have therapy in 3mins so I will look here later x
 
M

mixedbag

Active member
Joined
Sep 23, 2013
Messages
42
Location
Somerset, UK
Thx, I feel a bit better.
I don't even know why I'm scared. I tell myself that if it will be bad or if it will be too much I don't have to be there. That I can leave any second I for example go back to petstore where they always need employees and I wasn't stressed there at all (but it comes with veeeery little money)
I have therapy in 3mins so I will look here later x
Because it's new, but it won't be new for long, and you've been out of work six months you said? Well, six months is longer than it takes to adjust to lifestyle changes. They say do something for four months and you'll feel strange not doing it. (habitual behavior) No wonder you're nervous, your whole day is about to look completely different and you've no true idea of what that is until you've done your first day. New and unknown. It's a recipe for nerves when you think about it.
 
B

Blackwolf

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Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
120
Location
Poland
Because it's new, but it won't be new for long, and you've been out of work six months you said? Well, six months is longer than it takes to adjust to lifestyle changes. They say do something for four months and you'll feel strange not doing it. (habitual behavior) No wonder you're nervous, your whole day is about to look completely different and you've no true idea of what that is until you've done your first day. New and unknown. It's a recipe for nerves when you think about it.
That's true.
I feel a little bit better after therapy, less stressed.
I hope the atmosphere in this job will be ok.
My last workplace was very toxic, maybe that's what I'm stressed about. Now I have my comfort zone that I have to leave and go into 'unknown'.
Having anxiety is hard, I hope there will be higher awareness of mental difficulties in the future.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,356
Location
Scotland
I would try a pampering relaxing evening tonight then. Something nice to eat, some music, a bath etc. And chatting on here till bedtime. You've done well to get a job as many just don't get there. Hopefully it will be just fine.
 

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