Started to stop my meds last night

[happyhappy]

My pdoc told me he doesn't reckon my sodium valproate are working and was keen to change me but I told him I want to come off all my meds. He agreed to work through a withdrawal programme with a back up plan of increasing my quetiapine. Aside from the fact I think he is wrong about my diagnoses, I know he will worm his way into my brain and get me to agree if I feel the sligtest bit bad which will put me back to stage zero.
So, I have decided to go it alone. I started last night. I stopped the sodium valproate. If they are not working, it is a bit bloody silly taking them really isn't it? That's like taking paracetamol when you don't have pain. I read that all I can really expect in the way of withdrawals, from the valproate is very slightly possibly nausea.
My plan is to get off them all, then present him with the new me. I will do the mirtazepine next and I believe there are very few reported side effects from wihdrawal and lastly the quetiapine. The quetiapine will be the hardest as I rely on it for sleep, but I will cross that bridge then.
Anyone done similar? Experiences?

Happyhappy

 

[yakuza]

Hi, I would strongly recommend that you decrease the sodium valproate through your gp and/or gradually.
Just over 2 years ago I was taking 2,500 mg daily and decided they were'nt working,I felt fine at first but the sudden withdrawal left me in a bad place shortly afterwards.

I took them as a anti-convulsant and also as a 'crossover' medication,please speak to your GP.

Good luck with everything

 

[daffy]

Please be very careful stopping your meds. If you must, cut them down but do not just stop taking them. A few weeks ago i was ill with a virus and couldnt keep my meds down , including Depakote (sodium valporate) within three days i was quite unwell, suffering with severe dizziness and unbelievable mood swings. I was lucky with the help of this forum and my MH team I got it sorted and was soon feeling mentally well again.

You may not even recognise that your mood is changing, please take advice on this matter.

 

[intelgal]

I am currently stopping a reletivley small dose of depekote and have noticed effects... be careful please

 

[Apotheosis]

http://theicarusproject.net/alternative-treatments/harm-reduction-guide-to-coming-off-psychiatric-drugs

 

[Dollit]

Never just stop, always taper off and even if you're doing it without the medics consent at least let them know just in case you need their attention and you're not in a position to tell them what you've done.

 

[Isca]

Polypharmacy.

Happy Happy, have read some of your earlier postings and your decision to stop your meds seems to fit with your difficulty in accepting a diagnosis. Of course, it is always possible for doctors to be wrong, however I would say that it is fairly rare.
I get so fed up with taking meds too and sometimes my body seems to reject them after a time or I get a reaction if the dose is pushed too high.
At present I am using a 'symptom chaser' "pericyazine" under a supervised break from meds, due to an allergic reaction.
You seem to have been taking a varied amount/cocktail and I can understand why you might want to just 'stuff it and go it alone' - as I sometimes say to myself.
Do you have someone who can advocate for you, to your psychiatrist, to reduce meds? Gradual change or reduction is best. I hope you have a good relationship with your psychiatrist and discuss your fears. It can take awhile to settle into a diagnosis of any kind.
You talk about your stopping meds in comparison to taking paracetamol when one doesn't have pain. Try to imagine the opposite for a brain that needs certain chemicals and then is suddenly deprived of them. Rather like someone taking away my chocolate....I'm going to complain if someone did that! So might a brain.
All the best, glad you're out there.

 

[icetsunami]

Its worth noting that Depakote and Sodium Valproate are slightly different in that Depakote is semi-sodium. The have different uses in the prophylaxis of mood disorders. I only say this because I switched to Depakote and got a far better and more consistent result.

 

[happyhappy]

Thank you for replies and the link which is very interesting.

I will try to be sensible but me and sensible do not really tally. I have listened to your advice and experiences and will think about my next plan of action.

I do have a good relationship with my psychiatrist but I just fear if I tell him, he will somehow get me onto more quetiapine. I know he wants me off sodium valproate but on a 3 week withdrawal. I fear that I will have effects of withdrawal that will make me feel bad but he will use this as an excuse to up my quetipine when if I had just been given enough time, I would have been ok.

I will think about what I am doing next.

Thanks
Happyhappy

 

[Libra1]

Happyhappy - I understand your dialema about stopping your Sodium Valporate and you doc putting you onto something else. Doctors can only 'suggest' a better/more improved medication to keep us well and help us function

Please do not ever under estimate these medications, altho' one person may not have any probs reducing or stopping them, another may suffer horrendous withdrawal symptoms from SV. I speak from experience as this last week I have been reducing Neurontin under medical supervision and having awful headaches etc. Neurontin is one of many from the antiepileptic medications (tho' I do understand you like me are not taking it for that reason) Hope you find this site useful, it is free to register
www.bnf.org/bnf/

 

[happyhappy]

Thanks Libra,
I have subscribed to that site. It is a really handy tool. I have continued my withdrawal (I know I know.....I told you I don't do sensible) with my own back up plan that I would just start taking them again if I felt iffy. So far I have felt fine apart from a bit of a funny tum and a headache. I will let a member of the mht I trust know tomorrow so at least one of them is aware.
Happyhappy

 

[Apotheosis]

Thanks Libra,
I have subscribed to that site. It is a really handy tool. I have continued my withdrawal (I know I know.....I told you I don't do sensible) with my own back up plan that I would just start taking them again if I felt iffy. So far I have felt fine apart from a bit of a funny tum and a headache. I will let a member of the mht I trust know tomorrow so at least one of them is aware.
Happyhappy

Good luck with it all HappyHappy, & I hope it all goes well. People can & do successfully stop meds; far more than many people realise. If I had more support & different circumstances, then I would attempt a withdrawal again as well. I have tried 3 times to stop the med I am on, over the past 10 years. The last attempt was a two year reduction. The good thing is that I am on one med at low dose. If I had followed the direction of "professionals", then I would be on high doses & on other stuff as well. Thankfully this is not the case.

Prior to this med I am presently taking, I have in the past successfully stopped meds twice. From experience, the following simple things are a good idea. Get as much support as you can - try to have as little stress as possible - use relaxation techniques - eat well - exercise, & take things very easy. There is a wealth of information on-line on the subjects of MH recovery & med withdrawal.

 

[happyhappy]

I am now on night 13 of no valproate. I feel fine. I had a tummy upset and headaches for a week but I might have had a bug I do not know? I am sort of happy that I did this, but now I am worried. Mentally, I suffered a bit. I became very very angry but I was also pmt. I used to have pmt from hell but have been largely unaffected for some time....no coincedence that I was on mood stabilisers eh? The return of pmt like that is not an option I wish to consider, however, it might have been withdrawals. The anger has abated...but my period has started so I don't know what is what and I am not likely to know until next month.
On the plus side, my head feels more clear somehow, I have a clarity, or at the least, less cotton wooly that has not been there for a while and I feel so much more creative. A friend said to me 'yes....that is because you are slowly going high' I really don't think I am. I do not feel high in the slightest. I feel pretty normal....a bit short fused and a bit obsessive maybe. However, I got obsessive whilst on them.

My pdoc and I were going to withdraw them anyway as he didn't think they were workingfor me but I am now in a position of wondering what to do when I see him in two weeks. I am worried to tell him for fear of angering him and losing his support. I suppose I feel guilty as he was willing to support me through this. Yet, it is going to be wrong going in there and pretending I am still taking them and going through a three week farce pretending to be slowly withdrawing.

I am rather confused. I do get myself into awkward situations!

Happyhappy

 

[happyhappy]

well,
thought I would write an update!
Stopped the valproate, stopped the Mirtazapine, planned to do the quetiapine next.........ended up in hospital for 18 nights. Got in a really horrid way. Suicidal and delusional in same day. I am even more rapid cycling than ever.....although seem to have stuck in anxiety and depression for today. Had anti psychotics upped, starting on Lamotragine (apparently better for rapid cyclers?) and having to take nitrazepam as can't sleep for anxiety.
My kids were dreadfully upset at my absence, my hubby was stressed out, my mother was worried and my friends became distant (test of friendship....let me tell you!)

So.......the moral of the story is......if you have to come off meds.....do it with doctors advice.

Happyhappy

 

[KP1]

Hi HH
I'm glad you are home. You have written really well about your experiences and it makes me think twice about messing around with my anti depressants on my own again.
I suppose we should try and have more faith in the psychiatrists.
KP

 

[amica]

You've been through a horrible experience. I'm sorry. I guess in the end its true: the doctor is monitoring your wellbeing. Next time I find myself 'forgetting' my meds, I'll remember what it can lead to. There's something about bp disorder that leads us to deny we need medication, I think...

 

[KP1]

Can you get bi polar later on in life eg 40's or 50's or is it something that always starts younger?

 

[happyhappy]

My understanding is that you can be diagnosed in your 40's or 50's and beyond but most pdocs reckon it has been there but undiagnosed. I was diagnosed at 35-36 but pdoc reckons I have had it since teens if not even before.

Happyhappy

 

[Dollit]

It is rarely diagnosed in older people and episodes of mania in people already diagnosed tend to get less as you get older - but there are always exceptions!

 

[KP1]

Knowing my luck I'll be the exception since I have a sister with it and I just don't feel right though so far its depression thats the diagnosis.