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Sorry if this has been said before!

Sailwa

Sailwa

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
50
Location
uk
I'm new here and i feel fucking awful. I would love to contribute to other threads but i can't stop my mind from thinking at the moment. i have an intense axiety/angry feeling that is mostly physical, it's making me grind my teeth it's that frustrating. Within a few minutes i'll be ok though, i get regular glimpses of calmness only for it to descend back into absolute shit. I've read about BPD and i have 7 of the 9 diagnostic criteria, i don't have an official diagnosis though. I don't know what i expect from posting this! Everything i've said is fucking uselessly pathetic in describing how i feel, so much hate and pain! Constant thoughts of suicide but i don't think i'll do it. NOBODY CAN HELP ME.
 
Laura22

Laura22

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2013
Messages
86
Location
UK
Hi, I just wanted to say you're not alone, I find when my thoughts start racing the only thing I can do to stop them is sleep (or take diazepam) Many times I have wished my brain had an off switch. Lots of love xxx
 
Sailwa

Sailwa

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
50
Location
uk
Thank you for replying. i feel very alone at the minute. I'd love to sleep but i just can not do it, i've been taking excess cocodemol to try put myself out of it. I've got a long night ahead of me! I'll propably drift off at around 7am. Thanks for talking anyways xx
 
Laura22

Laura22

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2013
Messages
86
Location
UK
Be careful with those painkillers, you don't want to do yourself damage by taking too many. Why not try having a nice cuppa and reading a book or watching tv in bed, sometimes even if I can't sleep it's easier when you can take your mind off things a little. I'm a sucker for listening to classic fm at night time, people think it's weird because I'm only 23 but I find it quite soothing and 8/10 times I will manage to fall asleep. Hope you don't have too much of a bad night xx
 
Sailwa

Sailwa

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
50
Location
uk
yeah i like classic FM! I'm 25 so i suppose that's weird too. i was in hospital the other day because of an overdose so i won't do it again. I'm just very reckless. Would love to relax and sleep if i could, my mind is way too active though x
 
Laura22

Laura22

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2013
Messages
86
Location
UK
Well I'm with you on that one, I am reckless a lot of the time too. I tend to do things and think about it afterwards, perhaps I should try the other way around :) Oh no, hope you're feeling better now! The aftermath of overdoses from what I remember are pretty horrific, so go steady with those tablets!! Xx
 
Sailwa

Sailwa

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2013
Messages
50
Location
uk
Well I'm with you on that one, I am reckless a lot of the time too. I tend to do things and think about it afterwards, perhaps I should try the other way around :) Oh no, hope you're feeling better now! The aftermath of overdoses from what I remember are pretty horrific, so go steady with those tablets!! Xx
It's hard to change the order once you're used to it! Yeah i'm better now.Some pain but i didn't do long term damage. You're very wise for your years! You've helped me tonight as well so thank you xx
 
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