Sorry....... Excuse me.........

[Painismybestfriend]

''Sorry'' or ''Excuse me'' are words that are part of our everyday lives but we all use them in very different ways and the meaning behind it.

I know a huge amount of my social anxiety is attributed towards not wanting to upset or cause conflict with people and worrying what others may think of me.

'Sorry' becomes an overused word and exaggerated to the point where I say it almost without thinking.This may be on occasions when I feel the need to apologise or not understand them. 'Excuse me' on the other hand is a word that I am reluctant to use in many situations because it normally comes about through somebody being in your way (walking or running down the street for example) or asking a question, accusing them of being rude or not understanding them.

I know this is common in society, it's human nature to behave in this way, especially feeling low in confidence. These words swirl around in my head, eating away at me.

Who sees or knows of this themselves?

 

[Zoe1]

I notice I was saying sorry too much in the supermarket today
because I feel people are irritable about the pandemic
and I want to pacify them before they have a go at me

the social distancing is outside of my frame of reference

saying excuse me please I'm fine with
but it annoys me if someone says excuse me without the please !

 

[Purpleplum]

I used to say sorry all the time but now I stop myself. Saying sorry all the time shows weakness and people prey on weakness. Don't give them the chance to.

 

[Zoe1]

where I live its normal to say sorry a lot and seen as friendliness
I just do it too much though

 

[LORD BURT]

Say sorry if you want. I disagree with folk who say you should *NEVER* say certain words. It is absurd and stunts your growth as a human being.

Like folk who NEVER admit they are wrong, it is the mark of a dullard.

 

[OCDguy]

I used to say sorry all the time but now I stop myself. Saying sorry all the time shows weakness and people prey on weakness. Don't give them the chance to.

There are probably those that do need to prey on people's weaknesses, but what does it say about them? I think being overly apologetic can sometimes come across as being false... some people don't like falseness and may even find it slightly irritating... Just a thought...

 

[jajingna]

I think I've got some of that "Canadian politeness." I wasn't aware how absurd it could be till one day I was crossing the road at an intersection with the walk sign on, in the summertime, and a car hit me, not hard, and I said sorry to the driver (open window) out of reflex.

 

[Painismybestfriend]

Thank you all who replied. I can take all that on board and agree with it too.

Jajingna - I've been here many times. I know what you mean. It's instinctive. I think afterwards, why did you say sorry?

 

[Painismybestfriend]

And of course all who read too! You don't have to say anything. Silence is golden perhaps?

 

[Zoe1]

I've been told that ' no ' is a complete sentence ha ha !

 

[Purpleplum]

There are probably those that do need to prey on people's weaknesses, but what does it say about them? I think being overly apologetic can sometimes come across as being false... some people don't like falseness and may even find it slightly irritating... Just a thought...

When I said it in the past, I was clearly not being false nor am I ever. You may not realize that there are people who say it all the time and really mean it and because it's foreign to you, you think they're being false. And if they found me irritating, then who cares. They're irritating as well. Just a thought...

 

[Painismybestfriend]

Endless debate.

 

[OCDguy]

When I said it in the past, I was clearly not being false nor am I ever. You may not realize that there are people who say it all the time and really mean it and because it's foreign to you, you think they're being false. And if they found me irritating, then who cares. They're irritating as well. Just a thought...

Sorry my post was not a reflection of my true feelings regarding apologetic people, and it wasn't intended as a personal attack on anyone either, just a alternative perspective. I think the point I was trying to make is sometimes being overly nice (I'm not saying that you are), can be counter productive. It can also lead to people being easily hurt, as it can lead to a higher expectation from social interactions etc. So please don't take my post personally, I was just generalising in the hope it might help someone, and thank you for your post and pointing this out to me.