Somewhere down the line my life stopped

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Darius1993

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Manchester
#1
I’m 26 years old and should be loving life. Yet I’m not. I go from day to day hoping my next sleep will be my last. I’ve tried talking, I’ve tried meds, I’ve tried meditation none of which do any good. If anything they just drove me into a deeper depression. I feel like my partner will run a mile if every day I tell her I’m not good, so I lie. Every day I lie to her face and put on a fake smile. If it wasn’t for my kids I know I wouldn’t be here to write this.

I want to get up and out of this abyss but I’ve got no idea how. Every day is a battle.
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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Jun 12, 2010
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#2
How do you lie to partner? Have you not been with them long?

:welcome: btw :)
 
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Darius1993

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Manchester
#3
I’m 26 years old and should be loving life. Yet I’m not. I go from day to day hoping my next sleep will be my last. I’ve tried talking, I’ve tried meds, I’ve tried meditation none of which do any good. If anything they just drove me into a deeper depression. I feel like my partner will run a mile if every day I tell her I’m not good so I lie. Every day I lie to her face and put on a fake smile. If it wasn’t for my kids I know I wouldn’t be here to write this.

I want to get up and out of this abyss but I’ve got no idea how. Every day is a battle.
 
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Darius1993

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Manchester
#4
By telling her I’m fine I’m ok when really I’m the furthest thing from “fine”
 
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ziedite

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Nov 11, 2013
Messages
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UK
#5
Oh Darius...you need some external help... trying to get out of the abyss on your own is practically impossible. You said you tried meds and talking... maybe you need to find a GP who will get you.. is it a possibility for you to try another GP who might try different meds and a different therapist? But it's important to have a name for what you're going through...is it depression, anxiety or something else? Often having a name can help..

Hang in there and let us know what you need.
 
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Darius1993

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Manchester
#6
Oh Darius...you need some external help... trying to get out of the abyss on your own is practically impossible. You said you tried meds and talking... maybe you need to find a GP who will get you.. is it a possibility for you to try another GP who might try different meds and a different therapist? But it's important to have a name for what you're going through...is it depression, anxiety or something else? Often having a name can help..

Hang in there and let us know what you need.
I’ve been with 4 different doctors now and have been on a plethora of meds with no avail. Not even a slight improvement.
I’ve tried self help books, meditation and all that relaxation stuff. Nothing seems to work.
I don’t want to be having suicidal thoughts several times a day. I want to be able to walk down the street without contemplating suicide.
I’m failing every day to see or find a way up. I have depression, anxiety and more then likely Bipolar too
 
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ziedite

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Nov 11, 2013
Messages
244
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UK
#7
Ok.. it sounds serious... and you've done the correct stuff with regards to med and doctors. You're 26.. so young, trust me... so young. But you need a proper diagnosis. Without that, its really hard to decide how to cope and what to do. So I would persist in getting that from a gp or or a specialist. Having a name for what you are going through will help immensely.

You are NOT failing... remember this you are NOT failing..

What is going on in your brain is a combination of chemical, behavioural, and psychological stuff that is not easily fixed. BUT it can be managed and controlled.

Get yourself to someone who can give you a proper diagnosis...

We will be here for you...
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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Jan 7, 2019
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N/A
#8
In order to get out of the abyss you have to battle everyday to be happy and overcome sadness; which, can take place in the fight. Don't give up to feel better.

Talk with your spouse that's part of her vows is to be there for you in sickness and in health. Actually check in with each other, talk, listen, and look for solution to a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved.

Whenever you feel like reading, read to see if you can relate, cope, and learn from someone who is in recovery:

[Moderator Note: links removed as links by new members are not permitted]

GL GB BS!
 
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daffy

daffy

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Dec 16, 2007
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1,872
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hiding behind the sofa
#9
Darius first off you need to talk to your wife. Turn of the tv and phones and tell he you need her to listen to you. Tell her how you are feeling and don’t know,what to do. It’s highly likely that she knows something is wrong but didn’t know what. It could even put her mind at rest. You really need to be back at the gp. There are other remedies other then meds. I did attend group therapy. It was terrifying at the beginning and not at all what I expected. But then I realised my problems were nothing like as bad as some of the others in the group But yet some of the people there felt sorry for me. I went for about 10 weeks and make some lovely friends and we had some good laughs (one of them I meet regularly still after 10 years) . I’m not a big lover of psychotherapy but there are several different paths you can go down to find what suits you. Good luck
 
S

Scotts

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Joined
Jan 20, 2019
Messages
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Location
EUROPE
#10
Don’t always believe what your brain is telling you...
It’s OK to feel like this.You don’t need to pretend.
Believe me sharing and support is everything.
Here to talk if needed..