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Somewhere between Bipolar 1 and 2

J

Jarjarbinks

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Houston
Hi, I am new here. I registered to get and provide support for those dealing with similar issues such as mine. I have a history of depression/mood issues since childhood.

Full blown manic episode 2013 - age 23.
Diagnosed in 2016.
5+ years in recovery from drugs/alcohol.
Extreme bouts of depression.

I struggle with being the employee that I want to be.
I struggle with intimacy in relationships.
I struggle with my body image.

If any struggle with the above, I’d love to hear your experience and elaborate on mine as well. This isn’t completely comprehensive - I have a lot of other issues too LOL
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
430
Location
California, US
Hi and welcome to MHF!

Glad you found us and decided to become a member. It sounds like the mental illness buffet was very generous in filling your tray with disorders and I'm very sorry how these conditions have impacted your life.

What treatments have you tried and has any improved your ability to cope with the either the manic or depressive states?

My experience. The mental illness buffet served me Major Depressive Disorder + treatment refractory sauce and a helping of Generalized Anxiety Disorder sprinkled with binge eating disorder, chronic insomnia for pudding.

This crappy meal has affected life in some awkward and regrettable ways. My last committed relationship ended about 3 years ago and I have not been sufficiently well enough to start dating again.
I was sacked from the job 5 years ago and I sunk very deep into the murky bog. Symptoms are finally in remission in response to therapies and a drug treatment and so I begin putting the pieces back together.

Glad to meet guy you and I look forward to your futer contributions.
 
J

Jarjarbinks

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Houston
Hi! Thanks for your reply and for sharing your experience. I am sorry to hear of your struggles.

The biggest help to me was getting sober and being in a 12 step recovery program. So - abstinence from drugs (iv, pills, marijuana, stimulants like vyvanse adderal and the like, benzos like Xanax and klonopin) AND attending 12 step meetings and “working the 12 steps”. Cannot explain the science behind it but it works for me and many others.

I am currently seeing a therapist weekly which helps. In the past, when I am seeing a therapist my life feels more stable.

I also take medication.

Adderal - exacerbated depression
Lexapro - helped with anxiety
Klonopin - triggered alcoholic/addictive tendencies
Vyvanse - caused the manic episode I experienced 6 years ago
LATUDA - WOULD NOT ADVISE THIS DRUG TO ANYONE.

I am currently on:

Zoloft 50 mg
Lamictal 100 mg
Lithium 300 mg
Vitamin D3
Iron

I work out 3-4x a week. Try to nourish my body. And rely heavily on a support group.

What works for you?
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
430
Location
California, US
Hi. It appears you've got symptoms under control and you're doing a number of things for treatment - which is great. Overcoming many obstacles can't have been easy so it's your credit that you're in such a better place.

I'm treatment resistant so I've gotten no relief from any of the categories of antidepressants. I'm in an experimental program for TRD patients that treats major depressive disorder with Ketamine. My medication is

100 mg Pamelor - an old AD that my doc though worth trying. No relief effects.
300 mg Lithium - testing this as an extender of Ketamine effects
25mg Trazadone
8mg Rozerem these last two are for chronic insomnia
.5mg/kg Ketamine IV infusion once every 4 weeks. This treatment is working, it's the only drug that ever had any effect on my depression but it's experimental and considered to be on the frontier of psychiatric care.

For therapy, I'm in a DBT group and also a process therapy group just for patients in the Ketamine program. I credit the Ketamine for rolling back symptoms and the therapy for helping me cope and treat the depression. I was in a bad way but now I've turned it around.

I walk everyday for exercise, it really helps my mood and I do mindfulness exercises to reduce anxiety.

I've not had a history of addiction but mental illness runs in both sides of my family and it's derailed my life several times. In the years I've struggled with it, I've accrued a toolbox of cognitive therapy skills upon which I rely to keep my thoughts from being distorted and behaviors from being problematic. I struggle sometimes but I'm functional now which is a huge leap from where I used to be.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, I hope yours will inspire others who are still seeking help with their illnesses.
 
A

Alin05

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
57
Location
Romania
Welcome to the forum. We all share some of your problems. I almost died from my Xanax addiction which helped me become "the employee that I wanted to be". That was one of the reason why I used Xanax in the first place. On Xanax I become a model employee, one of the best in my company, while before, with my severe anxiety I was the exact opposite. I suffer from severe anxiety, depression and chronic insomnia. The anxiety and insomnia became far worst after I gave up un benzodiazepines. I found a perfect solution for my insomnia in mirtazapine, and for my depression in sertraline. One has saved my sleep, ruined by benzos, but made my depression worst, the other helps with my mood and my depression but ruins my sleep. Now I struggle to find some kind of compromise. And sice you have a far bigger experience with far more drugs that I do, I would love an advice from you about my treatment.
 
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