sometimes I wonder why I bother

greebobeebo

greebobeebo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
991
Location
north norfolk
#1
The last 6 months have been peaceful family wise.
- Mum died in July after a 5 year struggle with mnd.
- I found out from a non family member when the funeral was.
-Was given an option of a lift with a friend of the family to the funeral.
- Found out my stepmum repeatedly lied to me. (Knocking on my door, the dog barks every time anyone thinks about knocking)
- Got reported anonymously to social services twice.
- got raided by the police because of a friend of ds1
- Social services again involved, this time I'm getting the help I need.
- Found out it was stepmum who reported me, both times.
- Social worker seems to think I am agoraphobic as well as depressed.

I spend most of my day indoors, under my duvet. If I have to food shop I rarely go on my own or send ds1 with a shopping list, I thought it was just a dislike of sainsburys.
If I go into town I don't window shop and if any shop is overcrowded or the till queue is long I go back out again. The thing is though I've been like that as far back as I can remember. The last time I went into my local city, I spent the grand total of 20 minutes shopping and a total of 2 hours on the bus there and back.

I haven't spoken to any family for months, its less stressful that way. Had a nice quiet Xmas at home with my boys and a friend ds1's. Haven't done that since ds2 was a baby. Everything perfect and again no stress.

I have been known to sh a couple of times, but that was mainly around the time of stepmum being found out.

I really don't want anything to do with the family anymore, but I am afraid thatthat my boys will lose out.

I like peace and quiet, I like my flat with its proper wood front door. What is wrong with staying out of everyone's way?
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,831
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
#2
I'm a little confused as to who ds1 ds2 are, are they your kids? Sorry about what you had to go through with the funeral, I went through similar with my parents funerals and it was a terrible experience to the point I refused going to my mums altogether, for my own health and peace of mind. I stepped away from family as well for many years. You do whats best for your health in that regard. Sorry don't know much of your story. Just really wanted to send hugs.
 
greebobeebo

greebobeebo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
991
Location
north norfolk
#3
Ds = dear son. 1 & 2 = first and second.

Thank you for the hugs
 
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