- Nov 3, 2018
- New Jersey
i spend time on this forum, answering those of us who seek support and re-assurance that they are not alone. I want to make others feel better and hopefully give them some relief of their pain. But i guess i need a little relief too. I'm tired. I read this article/blog about 13 ways depression can affect you. Jeez, did i get depressed. I guess if you go looking for answers you may not like what you find. After a while, a certain numbness develops and everyday seems like a new day of coping with things. Funny enough, i look forward to not working to relieve the amount of stress i get, but when i am off i find myself realizing that i wish i was at work because at least that would allow my mania to escape my mind and i wouldn't have time to be depressed. My wife criticizes me for watching TV when i get home a lot, and the programs i watch, but i don't think she truly believes that i need it to de-focus what is going on my head. At least i can watch other things and not think. I have had a hard year. Kind of wish Jerry Garcia was alive and i could just go to a show and dance. Nothing quite like a Grateful Dead Show. Hope everyone has a good day and a better tomorrow.