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Something odd happened to me this year

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throwaway273977

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2019
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2
Location
UK
I've had a past of depression and anxiety, and I've overcome a phobia. One year ago I was going through a very tough time, I had lost my friends and had nothing to live for. I didn't care whether I was in college or at home, nothing mattered to me and I felt the worst I had ever felt in my life. Because of this, I decided to attempt suicide which I'm happy to say I survived.

I was also overcoming rejection at the time, and I was slightly religious. But after I tried to kill myself, and decided I would stop, I felt so much better about everything. I suddenly began to feel hopeful, I decided I would move away and start again, I suddenly began to believe in God so much more, I stopped caring about the girl that rejected me.

A few months later I got with the girl I was rejected by but began to feel bad again, every time I ejaculated I would feel extremely depressed for a day or two, then I would experience a high. I went to the GP and got my hormone levels checked and my testosterone was a little high. I was asked to stop taking the supplements I was taking at the time (vitamin D, zinc, protein shakes, and preworkout) and after stopping taking the vitamin D and zinc it all went, even though my hormones remain elevated.

The highs were like nothing I had ever experienced, after my attempt that was the first time I began to actually feel happy. During the highs I would have delusions and stop loving my girlfriend, I would become extremely angry and motivated, then during my lows I would not enjoy anything and just lie in bed all day.

For a while after stopping taking the supplements I carried on feeling the highs, albeit weaker, and I didn't have the lows anymore but I did have negative episodes. I've had a lot of episodes of grandiose delusions, and I've had some episodes where I've believed I was being haunted, but these have not happened much recently which I believe might be because of the changes in seasons.

I'm much better now, I feel happy and motivated, and pretty much just like a normal person 95% of the time, except for the depression I get whenever I have lots of responsibility and stressed.

Does anyone know what I might have experienced? Is it a seasonal thing? I kind of miss it to be honest.

Thank you
 
calypso

calypso

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Hiya and welcome to the forum. No-one can diagnose on a forum based on what someone says here I'm afraid. I certainly think you should write down what you have experienced and take it to a doctor and ask for a MH referral. I think you need evaluating and perhaps checking out for several possible problems. But don't if you don't feel this is a problem for you.

I am diagnosed bipolar and when I get high I enjoy it too until the anger clicks in and then I get obnoxious to people around me. The lows always follow the highs though so they aren't worth it.
I have never heard of supplements doing this to a person before. As for being depressed after sex, could it be that your religious feelings make you feel that its wrong in some way? Just an honest question not saying it is that.

I hope others will be along soon to offer more insights.
 
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Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
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hi and :welcome: !

maybe could be to do with your feelings about the girl
who had rejected you before
may be a sign she is not right for you possibly

I can get depressed after sex as well
in fact I have left that alone for 5 years now
because of how I felt last time

people sometimes feel under pressure
could be another reason

I hope you find the forum helpful and comforting

:grouphug:✨
 
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throwaway273977

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2019
Messages
2
Location
UK
Thank you for the help!
I'm not looking for a definite diagnosis, just wondered whether anyone had experienced this before and what their issue was.
I no longer get depressed after sex, or masturbation.
I do often doubt whether I should be with her and whether she is right for me, but we love each other.
 
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Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
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Location
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you can love someone who is wrong for you
it means there are other people you can love just as much
my grandfather said when you split from someone like that
you still love them, but you are free to love again as well
 
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