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Something is seriously wrong with me.

H

Hello513Zombie

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Jan 24, 2018
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I feel so incredibly stupid. I am stupid actually. For believing in this delusional fin crap for years.

My brain is a piece of garbage for spewing the crap it does. I keep trying to correct it, but its like it wants to live a crap life. It just doesn't listen to me at times.

Its like wrestling with an eel its so slippery. As soon as I disabuse it of one ridiculous notion it goes on to another wackjob theory.

I am never going to make it through nursing school. My brain is defective.
 
Acorn

Acorn

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Jan 11, 2020
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I don’t think your brain is defective. It just isn’t being very nice to you right now. If you have gotten into nursing school you definitely aren’t stupid. That’s hard to do.

The good news is that you now realise your brain has been lying to you. It’s a hard fight, because as you rightly say you argue over one thought and another appears but it’s an argument you can win. I know this because you say yourself you have done in the past.
 
H

Hello513Zombie

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Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
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Location
never never land
I don’t think your brain is defective. It just isn’t being very nice to you right now. If you have gotten into nursing school you definitely aren’t stupid. That’s hard to do.

The good news is that you now realise your brain has been lying to you. It’s a hard fight, because as you rightly say you argue over one thought and another appears but it’s an argument you can win. I know this because you say yourself you have done in the past.
Its just an incredible waste of time disabusing my stupid mind that this crap is real. I have to constantly have my BS detector on. Unless I am focused on another task, and sometimes even then it spews this delusional garbage
 
Acorn

Acorn

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I know it may seem that way but positive self talk is not a waste of time. Sure it would be better if it wasn’t necessary but sometimes it is.

I know what it’s like to constantly have to put a bs detector to your thoughts. It sucks and it’s draining.

You say it happens less when you’re focussed on another task. Is there something you can focus on to give yourself a break?
 
H

Hello513Zombie

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
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Location
never never land
I know it may seem that way but positive self talk is not a waste of time. Sure it would be better if it wasn’t necessary but sometimes it is.

I know what it’s like to constantly have to put a bs detector to your thoughts. It sucks and it’s draining.

You say it happens less when you’re focussed on another task. Is there something you can focus on to give yourself a break?
I have been studying, and I feel like Ive made some progress, but first I had to turn the delusion center of my brain off which is irritating because it wanted to bable on with its wild butt asertions.
 
D

Dear Prudence

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Jan 17, 2020
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Dearest @hello513,
I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with you. I think you are going through a tough patch in life as well as overworking yourself in this period.:hug:❤

My advice to you is to structure up your work in small sections. So you have time to practice it as well as it not being overwhelming. If you’d like, feel free to PM me for more techniques to work more effectively. One of the few things I’ve been complimented for is my work structure.

Please be kind to yourself x❤
 
Tawny

Tawny

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England
Do you have a psychotic illness or do you mean your own denial of something or connections you make to help you understand the world and yourself?

My 91 year old grandad died with stupid ideas and delusions, of the idiotic sense not illness. It is just how we try to understand our world based on what we know, what we have been taught by parents and others along the way.

We are all trying to be our best and do our best. We all fail. We all do and say and think stupid things. It is difficult not to beat ourselves up and call ourselves stupid and pathetic.

You must learn to be kind to yourself and accept that you are a work in progress. This is all normal, the doing things wrong and feeling bad about yourself because of it. I have taken overdoses because i was so disgusted with myself. Eventually i had to try hard to love me and accept me, good and bad, accept i was doing my best using what i had. My life has been really hard, childhood, teenage years, adulthood, all really hard and i have made more mistakes than most. I try to blame it on the confusions of mental illness because they really do make life confusing. Those who are mentally well, no depression or anxiety, life is clear and simple to them . They are lucky.

We are doing our best based on what we have.

You are doing your best the only way you know how. You are evaluating yourself and trying to improve.
Forgive your imperfections.


I like to say i am perfectly imperfect
I like to remind myself everyone else does stuff wrong too
They aren't perfect, neither am i.
 
H

Hello513Zombie

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
1,293
Location
never never land
Do you have a psychotic illness or do you mean your own denial of something or connections you make to help you understand the world and yourself?

My 91 year old grandad died with stupid ideas and delusions, of the idiotic sense not illness. It is just how we try to understand our world based on what we know, what we have been taught by parents and others along the way.

We are all trying to be our best and do our best. We all fail. We all do and say and think stupid things. It is difficult not to beat ourselves up and call ourselves stupid and pathetic.

You must learn to be kind to yourself and accept that you are a work in progress. This is all normal, the doing things wrong and feeling bad about yourself because of it. I have taken overdoses because i was so disgusted with myself. Eventually i had to try hard to love me and accept me, good and bad, accept i was doing my best using what i had. My life has been really hard, childhood, teenage years, adulthood, all really hard and i have made more mistakes than most. I try to blame it on the confusions of mental illness because they really do make life confusing. Those who are mentally well, no depression or anxiety, life is clear and simple to them . They are lucky.

We are doing our best based on what we have.

You are doing your best the only way you know how. You are evaluating yourself and trying to improve.
Forgive your imperfections.


I like to say i am perfectly imperfect
I like to remind myself everyone else does stuff wrong too
They aren't perfect, neither am i.
I have a psychotic disorder of some type. Its probably depresions with psychotic tendencies my original diagnoses, but I have had others.
 
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