• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Something happened today

  • Thread starter Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover
  • Start date
H

Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
101
Location
Mexico
Hi everyone. Still alive.
Bit of context to the next story.
I have clinical depression, anxiety and I'm 25 years old, i have been in this mess for more then a decade of those. Have a bad hability to make friend or have any type of social contact, I know that helps with depression so I do make an effort and try to. About 4 months from today I met someone and started talking to her.
We went on a few dates, and I developed feeling for her.
But, today I'll be a month since I haven't seen her, she kinda ghosted me, talked for a few days first week, next one told me she needed to disconnect from the world, and contacted me until today since then.
Thing is, she only contacted me asked how I was, and I like to be honest to everyone, all the time. And I told her I wasn't fine. And she immediately blamed me for not being on a professional and I replied, "I don't think we should be talking about me" and she just told me we should talk later then.

I was tempted to ask if that was in her mind a helpful thing to do or say. But I didn't want to be rude.
For me, coming to say something like that to someone you know is sick of depression and anxiety is like purposely causing damage.
Or what's the point there?
Why to start a conversation and end it like that I
in a minute, after weeks without talk or see each other.

Am I just seeing things wrong?
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
898
Location
Orleans vermont.
Seems like a shitty move to me. She asked a question, got an answer and she didn't like it and got angry at you. If she didn't want to hear the answer she should not have asked.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,452
Hi everyone. Still alive.
Bit of context to the next story.
I have clinical depression, anxiety and I'm 25 years old, i have been in this mess for more then a decade of those. Have a bad hability to make friend or have any type of social contact, I know that helps with depression so I do make an effort and try to. About 4 months from today I met someone and started talking to her.
We went on a few dates, and I developed feeling for her.
But, today I'll be a month since I haven't seen her, she kinda ghosted me, talked for a few days first week, next one told me she needed to disconnect from the world, and contacted me until today since then.
Thing is, she only contacted me asked how I was, and I like to be honest to everyone, all the time. And I told her I wasn't fine. And she immediately blamed me for not being on a professional and I replied, "I don't think we should be talking about me" and she just told me we should talk later then.

I was tempted to ask if that was in her mind a helpful thing to do or say. But I didn't want to be rude.
For me, coming to say something like that to someone you know is sick of depression and anxiety is like purposely causing damage.
Or what's the point there?
Why to start a conversation and end it like that I
in a minute, after weeks without talk or see each other.

Am I just seeing things wrong?

I think you are right to ask her motives for contacting you out of the blue, and I can fully understand how hurtful her reply is/was :hug: I love your philosophy of being honest, but I think the over-riding factor here from your viewpoint might have been "Why contact you now". I think if it were me I would have replied with something along the lines of great to hear from you, how are you? Asking a open ended question, allows you to find out what's on her mind, and it means you don't have to expose yourself to abuse etc. (you are in fact putting the ball back into her court). Ofcourse what works for me, might be different for you (you know your mind better than anyone else). How has this left you feeling, how are you generally :hug:
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
2,295
Location
nowhere
Do you need these kind of games? Get rid of people in your life that play games with your emotions. Don't let her get rid of you... instead YOU get rid of her. You're letting her call all the shots.
 
Top