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Someone that has helped me through a difficult time is leaving.

P

Pffft

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
1,052
I don't know where to begin. I'm just going to try and get it out. Basically I started yoga about a year and a half ago. The teacher is great and the yoga has helped my mental health and adhd. I have had access bars therapy with her and she has been really generous and given me free sessions. About 3 months ago i went through a period of hell where I was suicidal. She helped me when she didn't need to. She was the one person that helped me that wasn't paid to help me like the people I see at cmht. She made me feel like someone genuinely cared. She made such a difference to my frame of mind that I didn't go through with suicide.

At yoga on Monday she announced to the class that she is leaving in 3 weeks time. I'm devastated. I feel like I am being over the top becuase I really will miss her. She knows all about my mental health so with having bpd I'm worried my feelings are too much. I feel like whatever I say is going to be taken the wrong way. I don't even know whether it's okay to tell her im going to miss her. I managed to keep in my tears in and smile as she was happy as well as sad to be leaving, when she announced it to us all but I'm just finding it difficult. I feel pathetic and like I need to grow up. It's like how do I thank someone that has helped save my life.

I asked if I could see her for a chat and she is OK with this. I am of course happy for her and she seems really excited to be leaving for a new job but i just want to thank her and not be pathetic in the process.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,258
Sounds like she is your favourite person. Lots of folks here with bpd can help you with this. It’s common with this illness.
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 7, 2018
Messages
1,377
Location
Lost
after everything she's done for you it would be weird if you didn't feel this way, so I don't see it as pathetic letting her know, you can even just say it like "you will be missed" so it doesn't come across too personal, but hopefully you can remain in contact if that's allowed
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
880
Location
Norfolk
I don't know where to begin. I'm just going to try and get it out. Basically I started yoga about a year and a half ago. The teacher is great and the yoga has helped my mental health and adhd. I have had access bars therapy with her and she has been really generous and given me free sessions. About 3 months ago i went through a period of hell where I was suicidal. She helped me when she didn't need to. She was the one person that helped me that wasn't paid to help me like the people I see at cmht. She made me feel like someone genuinely cared. She made such a difference to my frame of mind that I didn't go through with suicide.

At yoga on Monday she announced to the class that she is leaving in 3 weeks time. I'm devastated. I feel like I am being over the top becuase I really will miss her. She knows all about my mental health so with having bpd I'm worried my feelings are too much. I feel like whatever I say is going to be taken the wrong way. I don't even know whether it's okay to tell her im going to miss her. I managed to keep in my tears in and smile as she was happy as well as sad to be leaving, when she announced it to us all but I'm just finding it difficult. I feel pathetic and like I need to grow up. It's like how do I thank someone that has helped save my life.

I asked if I could see her for a chat and she is OK with this. I am of course happy for her and she seems really excited to be leaving for a new job but i just want to thank her and not be pathetic in the process.
Be mindful that your emotions are far stronger than hers and although she will have sadness leaving her role, and you, it won’t feel like the suffering you feel at the moment. It’s highly probable you won’t be able to contain your emotions when you chat. My advice would be to think about her before you see her, let your emotions out. It will be very painful but once you have ridden that wave of emotion it will eventually subside. I think you could then talk to her, explain whatever you do from here how much gratitude you have for her etc. You might still have a tear in your eye but that is perfectly normal, it’s s sad moment for you. 🤗
 
P

Pffft

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
1,052
Thank you everyone. I guess she could be my FP but with the strict boundaries which I respect I thought it would be a case of she couldn't be as I wasn't seeing her all the time or messaging all the time. I find it comforting to know it's okay to be upset but I dont want to be overly emotional. @Lunus what do you mean by let your emotions out before? As in try to get the crying out the way? Before I see her? I have got upset a few times thinking about it but my mood is hit and miss so I can't predict how I'm going to feel later. :(
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
880
Location
Norfolk
Thank you everyone. I guess she could be my FP but with the strict boundaries which I respect I thought it would be a case of she couldn't be as I wasn't seeing her all the time or messaging all the time. I find it comforting to know it's okay to be upset but I dont want to be overly emotional. @Lunus what do you mean by let your emotions out before? As in try to get the crying out the way? Before I see her? I have got upset a few times thinking about it but my mood is hit and miss so I can't predict how I'm going to feel later. :(
I meant exactly that. Don’t suppress anything, let any tears out. Then see her and if there are any tears left, that would be perfectly natural but you may be able to control your emotions better.
 
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