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Unknown Dude

Unknown Dude

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Hey everyone. Sorry I made this as a single thread, I don't wanna spam my posts. Here it goes.

First question: I've been dreaming and imagining myself harming people and doing extra damage to them (I don't want to get into details because it'll be disturbing and unsettling for anyone, but for me it's normal). I even get an adrenaline rush, sometimes my heart starts racing and I'd hold my breath (I don't control it). Is that because I hate people or what? (Yes I don't like humans). And it makes me wanna beat up whoever touches me. And I start laughing when I see people

Second question: I was with a friend of mine and he met a guy he knows. We started talking and etc.. I had thoughts that the guy will hurt me though he was very friendly. I always feel this thing. What's the reason?.

Third question: A classmate of mine was joking with me and insulted me as a joke, it was a small one that wouldn't hurt. But in that second, I was very sensitive. I was upset and she could see it and she saw that. She started apologising and she felt bad about it. I am an emotionless person but this transformation thing happens so often. Sometimes I'd be emotionally dead and sometimes very sensitive. What's that?.

Thanks for your time reading the thread. If you have any explanation, I'll be very grateful. Have a nice day.
 
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katya

katya

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First question: I've been dreaming and imagining myself killing people and doing extra damage to them (I don't want to get into details because it'll be disturbing and unsettling for anyone, but for me it's normal). I even get an adrenaline rush, sometimes my heart starts racing and I'd hold my breath (I don't control it). Is that because I hate people or what? (Yes I don't like humans). And it makes me wanna beat up whoever touches me. And I start laughing when I see people
Do you feel like this in your dreams? If so, I wouldn't worry. However, without meaning to sound harsh, I was a little taken aback when you said you don't like humans. I think it might be good for you to work on that - because saying that sort of separates yourself from everyone else, which maybe could be triggering the tension you feel towards certain people (manifesting in your dreams). It's good to find a bit of solidarity with the human race if you can. :)

Second question: I was with a friend of mine and he met a guy he knows. We started talking and etc.. I had thoughts that the guy will hurt me though he was very friendly. I always feel this thing. What's the reason?.
Sounds like intrusive thoughts to me.

Third question: A classmate of mine was joking with me and insulted me as a joke, it was a small one that wouldn't hurt. But in that second, I was very sensitive. I was upset and she could see it and she saw that. She started apologising and she felt bad about it. I am an emotionless person but this transformation thing happens so often. Sometimes I'd be emotionally dead and sometimes very sensitive. What's that?.
I think it's normal to sometimes feel a massive twinge of emotion when something's quite painful - it's probably quite shocking for you if you're feeling quite numb a lot of the time... but I can imagine it's like this: if you're numb, you're in a vulnerable situation emotionally anyway, and maybe this comment made things a bit worse temporarily.

Don't know if what I've said is accurate or helpful - hope you can find some answers! :)
 
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SarahD

SarahD

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Hi Unknown Dude

I think for some people when they are hurting inside it can come out as a feeling of wanting to hurt others. This can be just what we do in words, when we argue even with people we care about, and can cause a lot of damage. Harming someone physically takes it to a different level, although words can do a great deal of damage. Also this can happen if someone has been hurt a lot in the past.

Have you thought about trying some kind of therapy? It could help you understand why you have those ideas, and can help change things if you want to. We can change the way we think/behave.
 
Unknown Dude

Unknown Dude

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Mistype

I start laughing when I see people die*. Even when my grandfather died, I was like: 'So? What can I do'. Though I loved my grandpa.
 
Unknown Dude

Unknown Dude

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Do you feel like this in your dreams? If so, I wouldn't worry. However, without meaning to sound harsh, I was a little taken aback when you said you don't like humans. I think it might be good for you to work on that - because saying that sort of separates yourself from everyone else, which maybe could be triggering the tension you feel towards certain people (manifesting in your dreams). It's good to find a bit of solidarity with the human race if you can. :)



Sounds like intrusive thoughts to me.



I think it's normal to sometimes feel a massive twinge of emotion when something's quite painful - it's probably quite shocking for you if you're feeling quite numb a lot of the time... but I can imagine it's like this: if you're numb, you're in a vulnerable situation emotionally anyway, and maybe this comment made things a bit worse temporarily.

Don't know if what I've said is accurate or helpful - hope you can find some answers! :)
I didn't mean anything when I said 'I don't like humans'. It's just I've took so much damage from them to dislike them. 8/10 of the total people I met in my entire life were dishonest and cruel to me. I was so kind before, I got hurt a lot so I decided not to feel a thing and here am I, having nothing to care about. Thanks for your explanation, I appreciate it.
 
Unknown Dude

Unknown Dude

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Dec 26, 2014
Messages
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Hi Unknown Dude

I think for some people when they are hurting inside it can come out as a feeling of wanting to hurt others. This can be just what we do in words, when we argue even with people we care about, and can cause a lot of damage. Harming someone physically takes it to a different level, although words can do a great deal of damage. Also this can happen if someone has been hurt a lot in the past.

Have you thought about trying some kind of therapy? It could help you understand why you have those ideas, and can help change things if you want to. We can change the way we think/behave.
Hey Sarah. Maybe it's a feeling of revenge as you said. Maybe because I was hurt too much as you said anc I couldn't take anymore. This phase of vengeance is temporarily, it happens from time to time.

What kind of therapy?. Therapy sessions?. I didn't try it, meeting new people makes me uncomfortable and makes me more aggressive and hostile.

Thanks for helping Sarah, I appreciate it.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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If we have painful or damaging experiences it can have lasting effects on us and cause depression and other problems. But if this is what has happened to you, you don't have to live like that forever. When I am very low I have phases when I don't like people at all and find them hard to deal with. Yet there are good people in the world. Think about accepting some help.
 
Unknown Dude

Unknown Dude

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And this hate feeling is because, years ago I was trying to make everyone happy to make them feel good when they need it. I cared about people too much and gave everything to ease their pain. And I didn't get much care. They used me as their clown, who they talk to, to make them laugh. (I'm not evil as you think, I have friends who I care about).
 
katya

katya

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I didn't mean anything when I said 'I don't like humans'. It's just I've took so much damage from them to dislike them. 8/10 of the total people I met in my entire life were dishonest and cruel to me. I was so kind before, I got hurt a lot so I decided not to feel a thing and here am I, having nothing to care about. Thanks for your explanation, I appreciate it.
I get that - it's hard not to become jaded, but please try not to. Not everyone's a total bastard. :)
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Sorry - our posts crossed.

There are lots,of,different kinds of therapy, so you need to see what is available in your area, research them on the Internet to see what might appeal to you. Then try something. It is important to find a therapist you can relate to.

You could try your doctor and see if you can be referred for therapy.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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I don't think you are evil. I can see that you are hurting and depressed.
 
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