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Some help needed please

A

Alicia

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Aug 17, 2021
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Celbridge
Hi all,my poor mother is suffering with anxiety and depression my dad was near death but has recovered so well,she nursed him back to health with the help of my sister and I she now hates everything to do with his sickness doesn't like the fact he cannot walk much,he now has needs like a stair lift etc needs a lot of care its like she is in mourning for their old life they had which was wonderful,she does love dad its horrible to see her in the pain she is in she cannot seem to move on,we are doing all we can being loving supportive help her with breathing,go for walks etc but nothing helps everyday is the same,we cry a lot over her,any help or suggestions would be great,thank you.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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:welcome:
I think it takes time for people to adjust to a new life.

Depression can come on if someone has been under too much stress. It sounds like she needs a break, a rest, time to recover from what she has been through and come to terms with how life is going to be in the future. To get stronger again. Is she taking medication? It can help.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Hi all,my poor mother is suffering with anxiety and depression my dad was near death but has recovered so well,she nursed him back to health with the help of my sister and I she now hates everything to do with his sickness doesn't like the fact he cannot walk much,he now has needs like a stair lift etc needs a lot of care its like she is in mourning for their old life they had which was wonderful,she does love dad its horrible to see her in the pain she is in she cannot seem to move on,we are doing all we can being loving supportive help her with breathing,go for walks etc but nothing helps everyday is the same,we cry a lot over her,any help or suggestions would be great,thank you.
Hey, @Alicia, welcome to the forum. My mom is going through a similar situation with my dad. We just got the chair lift installed, he is always grumpy (always has been, but now it's beyond the pale), and she is stuck at home with him worrying as well as getting sick and tired of his attitude. Do you think a support group of some sort could help her? Being around other people going through similar situations can help so much. Also, def agree w @Tawny (as usual) in getting some professional help and meds to help her get through this. There is so much going on right now, hard to keep our heads up as it is, and it really sounds like you have done all you can do. You sound like an amazing daughter, btw. xx
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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hi ,welcome what a kind daughter you are ,my mum suffered many health problems as she got older and in time people do adapt to a new way of life
im sure being there for her is helping and make sure yourself and your family look after yourselves too x Lu x
 
A

Alicia

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Aug 17, 2021
Messages
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Location
Celbridge
Hi 2much2feel thank you so much for your reply, yes my mother is on medication, I feel if she did have time out she would not want to come back and face up to the situation at all its an awful situation I have moved from my home and I'm living with my parents the last 6 or 7 weeks I miss my husband and son but my mother needs the help
 
A

Alicia

Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Celbridge
Hey, @Alicia, welcome to the forum. My mom is going through a similar situation with my dad. We just got the chair lift installed, he is always grumpy (always has been, but now it's beyond the pale), and she is stuck at home with him worrying as well as getting sick and tired of his attitude. Do you think a support group of some sort could help her? Being around other people going through similar situations can help so much. Also, def agree w @Tawny (as usual) in getting some professional help and meds to help her get through this. There is so much going on right now, hard to keep our heads up as it is, and it really sounds like you have done all you can do. You sound like an amazing daughter, btw. xx
 
A

Alicia

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Celbridge
Thank you so much, my mam and dad are so precious, my dad has had bad health over the last 20 years has been through so much is so strong and never let's anything get him down and is feeling it really hard to cope with the fact my mother is ill and we are helpless,a major part of the whole thing is my mam accepting my dad cannot do the things he use to do, he use to bring her tea up to bed, he would cook the breakfast sometimes dinner and help her anyway he could,I do not know what help group there would be that you suggested would you have any idea?,im grateful for your reply and any reply I receive thank you so much you are very kind.
 
A

Alicia

Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Celbridge
:welcome:
I think it takes time for people to adjust to a new life.

Depression can come on if someone has been under too much stress. It sounds like she needs a break, a rest, time to recover from what she has been through and come to terms with how life is going to be in the future. To get stronger again. Is she taking medication? It can help.
 
A

Alicia

Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Celbridge
Thank you so much Tawny for replying yes my mother is on medication about 2 months now
 
A

Alicia

Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Celbridge
hi ,welcome what a kind daughter you are ,my mum suffered many health problems as she got older and in time people do adapt to a new way of life
im sure being there for her is helping and make sure yourself and your family look after yourselves too x Lu x
 
A

Alicia

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Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Messages
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Location
Celbridge
Ah! thank you so much for your lovely kind words, its such a tough time but hopefully my mam will wake up one of these days and be her lovely self again, its just not fair,thank you again xx
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

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Welcome Alicia. Don’t have much advice sadly but wish you all the best.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Thank you so much Tawny for replying yes my mother is on medication about 2 months now
Does she have daily walks? Sunshine, fresh air and nature are important. Even sitting on a bench or feeding ducks, coffee out.
 
A

Alicia

Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Celbridge
She never was a person who liked walking at all but yes we are getting her out for walks,lunches meeting people when she wants, but she sometimes wants to see people then she doesn't, or even her own son she may say if she hears he is coming oh! I'm not able to see him and she doesn't want to see her grandchildren its totally out of character for my mam she loves her family and she's also a real peoples person.
 
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