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Socializing is so exhausting right now

Talina

Talina

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Hey everyone 🌸

I’m so exhausted right now, I have a few friends at uni that will ask questions when they need help or just want to talk. But the day before when I was supposed to help a friend, I just got more and more irritated.

Which is totally not like myself but I’m so exhausted and my social aniexty totally don’t help keeping up the front. I don’t want to snap on anyone or act disinterested to the people around me, only because I’m feeling more and more tired.

Do any of you have any tips on how to handle it?
 
Hello513

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Hey everyone 🌸

I’m so exhausted right now, I have a few friends at uni that will ask questions when they need help or just want to talk. But the day before when I was supposed to help a friend, I just got more and more irritated.

Which is totally not like myself but I’m so exhausted and my social aniexty totally don’t help keeping up the front. I don’t want to snap on anyone or act disinterested to the people around me, only because I’m feeling more and more tired.

Do any of you have any tips on how to handle it?

My advice is this if you start to become irritated express yourself in a constructive way. Instead of snapping or being insulting express your irritation in non confrontational ways.
 
Talina

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My advice is this if you start to become irritated express yourself in a constructive way. Instead of snapping or being insulting express your irritation in non confrontational ways.
Thanks for the advice. I’m trying my best to not sound snappy or insulting. But I know my patience is really short right now and I don’t give a care. Which becomes so wrong to the people around me.
 
Hello513

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Thanks for the advice. I’m trying my best to not sound snappy or insulting. But I know my patience is really short right now and I don’t give a care. Which becomes so wrong to the people around me.
Well I have two suggestions rather than bottling up your emotions until you snap express them piece meal when they arise in constructive ways.

Two there is a practice called mindfullness that allows you to extend your temper conciously, and catch yourself before you snap.
 
Talina

Talina

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Well I have two suggestions rather than bottling up your emotions until you snap express them piece meal when they arise in constructive ways.

Two there is a practice called mindfullness that allows you to extend your temper conciously, and catch yourself before you snap.
I can’t express when I get irritated because it would be wrong of me to do it. I know it’s just my exhaustion trying to take over.

For example one of my friends don’t speak the best swedish, so when she wants help I need to focus a lot to understand what she want helps with and then she can not understand me when I explain. Which can end up with me explaining the situation in many different ways to try help her understand. Which need me to focus a lot and my dyslexia doesn’t truly help me in those situations. Just the couple of days I had a few people asking for help which just pushing me to become even more irritated.

I’m already struggling trying to eat properly, get up from the bed and motivate myself to study.
 
K

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This is a stressful time for everyone but is especially hard on people with existing mental illness. My suggestion is to make sure you give yourself plenty of patience and compassion and if you aren’t in a position to do that, then don’t deal with anyone.

From what I’ve discovered recently is that if I can’t be patient and kind with myself then I’m not going to be kind and compassionate with others.
 
K

Keesha

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I can’t express when I get irritated because it would be wrong of me to do it. I know it’s just my exhaustion trying to take over.
Not wrong at all. People need to know where your boundaries are so they aren’t taking advantage of you. It’s not only ‘ not wrong’ it’s your responsibility to let them know where your boundaries are. Telling your friend it’s too much for you to help her when she asks is perfectly ok. If she needs your help then it should be at your discretion, not hers.
 
Talina

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Not wrong at all. People need to know where your boundaries are so they aren’t taking advantage of you. It’s not only ‘ not wrong’ it’s your responsibility to let them know where your boundaries are. Telling your friend it’s too much for you to help her when she asks is perfectly ok. If she needs your help then it should be at your discretion, not hers.
I have a bit of a problem setting up boundaries. It’s something my close friends have noticed and often tells me to stop being too nice, I also get the same advice from my little brother. I’m trying to work on it better and have put up a few boundaries but I’m still too nice. Which I know a few people can take for granted and use.

I’ll try stepping back a bit and just focus on what I have at hand. But I’ll feel bad and guilty, when I can’t help and be there for the people around me. I have a tendency to put others before myself and just ignore how I am feeling.
 
K

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I think people pleasing is common for those with confidence issues. It’s something I have issues with also as well as letting people know I have boundaries. It’s actually sad that I even forget I’m allowed to have them. Maybe practice setting boundaries and realize that you are worthy of having them because when you don’t set them, those who have no problem exploiting you will seek you out with no problems or guilt whatsoever.
 
Talina

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I think people pleasing is common for those with confidence issues. It’s something I have issues with also as well as letting people know I have boundaries. It’s actually sad that I even forget I’m allowed to have them. Maybe practice setting boundaries and realize that you are worthy of having them because when you don’t set them, those who have no problem exploiting you will seek you out with no problems or guilt whatsoever.
Thanks Keesha. I know that people will exploit you when you don’t have any boudaries up. But it’s hard setting up boundaries when you end up with a guilty feeling that’s eating you up. Its still a working process for me.
 
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Keesha

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Thanks Keesha. I know that people will exploit you when you don’t have any boudaries up. But it’s hard setting up boundaries when you end up with a guilty feeling that’s eating you up. Its still a working process for me.
Understandable. It’s something I’m constantly working on. Unfortunately I’m my biggest critic.
 
Talina

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Yes indeed. 🙁
Thank you Talina. 🤗
Unfortunately the world is full of judgmental people too🥺
I could be totally without all the judgmental people in my life. It would be so nice skipping all the judgmental things in life 😩

I just try to brush it off when I hear and get negative comments. But I mostly keep my head empty and try not let it get to me. So I don’t truly think about anything, might be a way to escape and close it off from my part 😅
 
K

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I could be totally without all the judgmental people in my life. It would be so nice skipping all the judgmental things in life 😩

I just try to brush it off when I hear and get negative comments. But I mostly keep my head empty and try not let it get to me. So I don’t truly think about anything, might be a way to escape and close it off from my part 😅
So could I and do for the most part but whenever you go out or online sharing, you can’t escape it. People judge for many reasons but it’s basically part of what people do, including myself at times although I don’t follow pack mentality.

I try and remind myself that they do it to everyone and try to not take it personally. We all judge and get judged. We can opt out of judgment by avoiding people altogether , which is what I usually do. 🙃
No sense investing in negativity. Brushing it off sounds like a sensible approach.
You’ve got this. 😊

Investing time and energy into enjoyable hobbies, nature; including pets and animals can be incredibly soothing to the mind, body and spirit. Nature isn’t judgmental so I get my daily fill of it.
 

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