Socialisation

F

firemonkee57

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
8,207
#1
Went for depot today. Through asking a few questions injection giver works out I don't go out much. I told him rather reluctantly that I could go to the cafe(was going to add to sit alone) and he talks about it being a chance to socialise.
I told him I have no one to socialise with,no friends. He was a little dumbfounded and awkward when I said that and quickly got off the subject.
I don't think some of these mental health workers realise how socially isolated some of us are.
It was of course their superiors that ensured the drop ins that provided social contact for me and countless others were jettisoned. Now there is eff all for people like me- time limited weekly options outside my comfort zone don't cut the mustard.
Given a choice between sitting at home and going out to sit on my own in a cafe, or wonder aimlessly round the town centre, 99/100 I'll choose to stay in ( the library that once was a port of call is somewhere I won't go as they moved it to out of my comfort zone . )
 
S

Stray

Guest
#2
I feel the same, no friends is a reality that hurts so much, but people seem to find the fact hard to grasp. Staying in can feel less isolating than being and or feeling awkward in a public space xx
 
F

firemonkee57

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
8,207
#3
At least if I stay in I have cyber contact with people.

My mental health team every now and then suggest college,to do a course. I never bite the bullet. (a) The memories of being bullied and ostracised at school for being physically/socially awkward are still strong (b) learning difficulties which have never been recognised and therefore no help given would mean I'd struggle doing a course(just as I struggled more and more to do well when at school) (c) Finding my way around a big college would be difficult especially if it involved remembering the position of a class room when there were lot of rooms on several floors. I would feel very anxious and overwhelmed. (d) The colleges are positioned out of my comfort zone.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
30,178
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
#4
im completely socially isolated too i have dozens of internet friends but no rl friends
i never go out-only to walk maddie and i never meet anybody when i do that
the only time i go out is to appointments but i never go out socially tbh i barely leave the house
i dont do people xx
 
Last edited:
M

mal blue moon

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
75
#5
I like to avoid social situations to the point people find me rude (not purposely ),I feel like a Ghost someday's when somebody bumps into me, as happens in busy places witch a hate (busy places) and out of politeness says sorry ,I for that moment feel real ,or when catching a train the conductor holds on for me to board for that moment I feel on the planet ,people I find irritate me ,most of human nature astounds me ,its like in the jungle when the animals go whoop'whoop and get excited over nothing ,I can not wait to get older as society has a blindness to old people ,I don't particular like pigeons ,but when sitting in towns and cities see outcasts like my self feed pigeons as if to say to the pigeons you hated like us outcasted people here's a free meal ,I don't hate people or society ,It just seems like where all battery hens with our boxes in society,.
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
2,192
Location
East of England
#6
I have mild social phobia so I can understand how you feel. Mine is 'mild' because it doesn't stop me going out and about or even socialising (occasionally) although I get into an anxiety state before going to a social event and feel relieved when I get back home, but it's far worse when I'm depressed and then it gets to the stage where I don't want to leave the house at all and I'm even terrified of going on social media sites like Facebook (and here!) so yes, I can understand the assumed connection between mental well-being and the ability to socialise.

However, I think the ability to be content with your own company and the ability to amuse yourself when alone are both seriously undervalued, especially by mental health professionals. I think they are good survival skills. I understand your 'alienation' from many other people. I'm 63 now and as I've got older I've noticed how there are fewer and fewer people that I can tolerate being in the company of. I can't tolerate racists, bigots, homophobes, misogynists, snobs, ultra-conformists, fascists, ignoramuses, psychopaths or narcissists any more, and frankly I don't see why I should. This has left me with a very small pool of people I could possibly like and enjoy socialising with!
 
S

Stray

Guest
#7
I'm 63 now and as I've got older I've noticed how there are fewer and fewer people that I can tolerate being in the company of. I can't tolerate racists, bigots, homophobes, misogynists, snobs, ultra-conformists, fascists, ignoramuses, psychopaths or narcissists any more, and frankly I don't see why I should. This has left me with a very small pool of people I could possibly like and enjoy socialising with!
Can relate to this so much. x
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
#8
I have mild social phobia so I can understand how you feel. Mine is 'mild' because it doesn't stop me going out and about or even socialising (occasionally) although I get into an anxiety state before going to a social event and feel relieved when I get back home, but it's far worse when I'm depressed and then it gets to the stage where I don't want to leave the house at all and I'm even terrified of going on social media sites like Facebook (and here!) so yes, I can understand the assumed connection between mental well-being and the ability to socialise.

However, I think the ability to be content with your own company and the ability to amuse yourself when alone are both seriously undervalued, especially by mental health professionals. I think they are good survival skills. I understand your 'alienation' from many other people. I'm 63 now and as I've got older I've noticed how there are fewer and fewer people that I can tolerate being in the company of. I can't tolerate racists, bigots, homophobes, misogynists, snobs, ultra-conformists, fascists, ignoramuses, psychopaths or narcissists any more, and frankly I don't see why I should. This has left me with a very small pool of people I could possibly like and enjoy socialising with!
I can relate to this too.
Xxx