social phobia combined with extreme shyness

[Deleted member 35058]

hi, I was just wondering if I'm the only person like this. I really struggle to talk to people and am extremely shy and apart from the few closest people in my life I haven't spoken or mixed with anybody for around 13 years, apart from saying thanks in a shop or something but apart from that I can't remember the last time I had any sort of conversation with somebody, not even online, posting on here is the first time I have attempted to chat to anybody for as long as I can remember. I think my social phobia has just got the best of me and because it's been so long now I have forgotten how to talk to people and it seems an impossible thing, I was never any good at it in the first place. When I have had to talk to people in my life I have bad physical symptoms of anxiety and bad negative thoughts about myself and I'm very quiet and I end up feeling sad. It's a curse because I desperately would like to talk to people but at the same time im desperately scared of doing so and just left feeling lonely I feel like I'm the only person in the world like this.

 

[Talina]

Hi Jordan and welcome to the forum

You aren’t alone I struggle with social phobia and have an avoidant personality as a coping mechanism.

It took years for me to be brave enough to write on forum and not let my self-doubts and insecurities control me. So you aren’t alone

 

[Deleted member 35058]

Hi Jordan and welcome to the forum

You aren’t alone I struggle with social phobia and have an avoidant personality as a coping mechanism.

It took years for me to be brave enough to write on forum and not let my self-doubts and insecurities control me. So you aren’t alone

Hi Talina thank you for your welcome and saying I'm not alone sorry you have these horrible conditions too well done for overcoming your fears with posting on forums, that is really good and I wish you luck with any other struggles too

 

[Talina]

Hi Talina thank you for your welcome and saying I'm not alone sorry you have these horrible conditions too well done for overcoming your fears with posting on forums, that is really good and I wish you luck with any other struggles too

Thanks Jordan and not the easiest condition to handle. At least for me it have gotten better a little over the years and I have found different coping mechanism that helps me to handle the anxiety.

Have you tried any professional help, to try cope with your social anxiety.

 

[OCDguy]

Hi Talina thank you for your welcome and saying I'm not alone sorry you have these horrible conditions too well done for overcoming your fears with posting on forums, that is really good and I wish you luck with any other struggles too

Hi Jordan, great to see you posting Loving the colours of those emojis too, please don't ever stop I think sometimes we struggle socially through lack of inspiration. Lack of inspiration can lead to lack of motivation... more importantly what do you think?

 

[Deleted member 35058]

Thanks Jordan and not the easiest condition to handle. At least for me it have gotten better a little over the years and I have found different coping mechanism that helps me to handle the anxiety.

Have you tried any professional help, to try cope with your social anxiety.

I'm glad to hear how you use different coping mechanisms to help, I do think that's important I purchased a over coming sa cbt course and it gave various tools or methods to help. One was slow talk and it keeps you feeling calmer by talking slower, just need to put it in practice in the outside world hehe

 

[Deleted member 35058]

Hi Jordan, great to see you posting Loving the colours of those emojis too, please don't ever stop I think sometimes we struggle socially through lack of inspiration. Lack of inspiration can lead to lack of motivation... more importantly what do you think?

Hehe glad you like the yellow smileys sometimes I think I do them too much but it's nice to bring some cheer too messages I agree how inspiration and motivation are important, without that it's too easy to stay in bed hehe

 

[OCDguy]

So I wonder what does inspire you and motivate you (and I agree I like the colour etc. that emojis can bring to a otherwise black and white conversation lol)

 

[Deleted member 35058]

So I wonder what does inspire you and motivate you (and I agree I like the colour etc. that emojis can bring to a otherwise black and white conversation lol)

I like how the smileys can add some happyness to the message too Thanks for being interested in what inspires and motivates me, I love music and football. Guitar music mainly and I have a few guitars but lately I haven't played them. I love nature and animals too and connecting with nature is something that brings joy. Little things like looking out of a open window in the middle of the night when everything is still, and the sense of the cool air or rain, I've noticed at times like that a real feeling of connection how about you? What things inspire and motivate you? I'm interested in knowing

 

[OCDguy]

That's a good question. If I can add value to someone's day I get a sense of fulfilment if that makes sense Other than that I have a fascination for all Martial Arts, I enjoy listening to music, I used to play the clarinet many years ago, until I started getting more squeaks than high notes, I lost interest after that to be honest simply because despite all my efforts I never overcame that obstacle... I enjoy watching YouTube videos on trains and stations (history etc.) and hearing people's stories and journeys through life... I'm also enjoying watching the snooker at the moment lol.

 

[Talina]

I'm glad to hear how you use different coping mechanisms to help, I do think that's important I purchased a over coming sa cbt course and it gave various tools or methods to help. One was slow talk and it keeps you feeling calmer by talking slower, just need to put it in practice in the outside world hehe

Using the coping mechanism outside can be a true challenge sometimes but give a good practice. It’s good you got a few tools from the CBT.

I have yet gotten any tools from my CBT because being put on-hold. I often use listening to music and breathing exercises as a way to make me relax

 

[Deleted member 35058]

That's a good question. If I can add value to someone's day I get a sense of fulfilment if that makes sense Other than that I have a fascination for all Martial Arts, I enjoy listening to music, I used to play the clarinet many years ago, until I started getting more squeaks than high notes, I lost interest after that to be honest simply because despite all my efforts I never overcame that obstacle... I enjoy watching YouTube videos on trains and stations (history etc.) and hearing people's stories and journeys through life... I'm also enjoying watching the snooker at the moment lol.

That was nice hearing your interests and things that inspire you sorry it didn't work out with the clarinet. Cool how you watch a lot of YouTube and on trains and stations, one type of video I like to watch is live streams or recorded live streams of a trains journey across random places like a snowy Sweden. There are videos of the point of view from the trains cabin looking outside and it's peaceful and almost as if your there on that journey cool what snooker players do you like watching the most? I've gone through phases of watching lots of snooker, I used to own a pool/snooker table in my house although a lot of the shots I would have to angle the cue because of the wall hehe but I could still enjoy a good game that is nice how you enjoy adding value to somebody's day and it makes you feel fulfilled, thanks because you have added value to my day

 

[Deleted member 35058]

Using the coping mechanism outside can be a true challenge sometimes but give a good practice. It’s good you got a few tools from the CBT.

I have yet gotten any tools from my CBT because being put on-hold. I often use listening to music and breathing exercises as a way to make me relax

Im glad how music and breathing exercises help you to relax I definitely think those are good coping mechanisms it's good to do slow deep breathing, I recently read a method called the wim hof method that is meant to be very good for reducing stress good luck for doing cbt in the future

 

[OCDguy]

That was nice hearing your interests and things that inspire you sorry it didn't work out with the clarinet. Cool how you watch a lot of YouTube and on trains and stations, one type of video I like to watch is live streams or recorded live streams of a trains journey across random places like a snowy Sweden. There are videos of the point of view from the trains cabin looking outside and it's peaceful and almost as if your there on that journey cool what snooker players do you like watching the most? I've gone through phases of watching lots of snooker, I used to own a pool/snooker table in my house although a lot of the shots I would have to angle the cue because of the wall hehe but I could still enjoy a good game that is nice how you enjoy adding value to somebody's day and it makes you feel fulfilled, thanks because you have added value to my day

I think one of my most favourite players at the moment is Judd Trump.. it's great when there's a nail biting contest, also large breaks fascinate me, to keep that much control over the cue ball etc. How are you finding the Forum? Personally I find it a great place to communicate, there seems to be a lot less judgemental people on here who are always willing to support and help others'.

 

[karl7]

hi jordan, Welcome to the forums.....I have bad socila anxiety too .....i have no friends nor a girlfriend, i used to be very lonely but then i found this forum.....its a nice place to post/talk.....people here are humble nice caring understanding people who have been through it.....keep up posting...