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Social anxiety

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Jodie14

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Derby
Hi Jodie. I know exactly how you feel. It just takes over my life daily. Just feeling constantly as if you aren’t good enough and feeling awkward in every social situation.. I struggle with blushing when some people talk to me, mainly if it’s someone I’ve never spoken to before. I hate having any attention on me and would rather blend in and not be noticed. I’m 26 and I’ve always felt this way, and I hope it does get better as I get older. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it.
Hi, thanks for ur reply. I feel u pain I really do. Its such an awful feeling depressing feeling. As Iv got older in some situations Iv got better but in some ways Iv got worse too And I think that is down to the fact Iv become more aware of my problem.

Iv been to my niece 3rd birthday party today. I was anxious before I went but I do push myself to go. when I was in the room I just kept my self to myself, unable to communicate, unable to have a conversation. I just feel so low now. I was invited back to my brothers but made my excuses and went home. Well Iv not stop crying since. I don’t want to be this person anymore, I hate me so much.

Can u tell me have u seeked medical advice for this? I don’t know what to do anymore x
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
110
Location
europe
Welcome to the forum, fellow sufferer!
Great to see how many have already replied to you!

Sorry to hear about your self-hatred and social anxiety. It sounds like you should talk to a therapist, they can't solve all problems but they might guide you. It's a long journey though, I am 47 and still struggling in ways normal people can't even begin to understand. I have a job and a few friends though which I am very proud of. When normal people look at my accomplishments, they don't think it's impressive at all. I don't really care what they think though because they haven't suffered the way I have. In short: fuck them!
I wish you the best!
 
J

Jodie14

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Derby
Hi thank you for replying. It does help to know others understand the struggle and pain of this suffering. I want help.. but find it so hard to talk about and open up. I don’t know how I would make the steps to get help. Coming on this forum is the 1st time I have Eva talked about it.

I’m guessing therapy is something you have had? How did u seek it? Did u find it helped. Funny thing is I don’t care what people think of me really I just want to feel apart of something, be able to fit in more, make friendships, and people wanting to be in my company and not avoid me. X
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
110
Location
europe
Hi thank you for replying. It does help to know others understand the struggle and pain of this suffering. I want help.. but find it so hard to talk about and open up. I don’t know how I would make the steps to get help. Coming on this forum is the 1st time I have Eva talked about it.

I’m guessing therapy is something you have had? How did u seek it? Did u find it helped. Funny thing is I don’t care what people think of me really I just want to feel apart of something, be able to fit in more, make friendships, and people wanting to be in my company and not avoid me. X
I found one on the yellow pages, I was lucky and found a good one that actually cared about me.
My therapist helped me in a way that allowed me to get back on my feet to become strong enough to begin to work on my problems.
Initially I was too weak to do this and I just wanted the therapist to help me, this is normal, to be completely helpless and lost. No sense of direction, you don't know where you are or how you came to be there. I don't know how I managed to get strong enough to be able to fight back but it happened with time. Then begins the work which involves true bravery to face anxiety and depression head on and you need a guide or several guides to accomplish this. If you feel lost right now, please know this will pass.

I try to focus on simple things when I feel the worst, eating healthy, getting some exercise, seeing people I know and like, avoiding drugs and alcohol and junk food and so on. My thinking is: I managed to eat healthy and I did some exercise today, therefore I am not a complete failure, actually I am pretty OK. Sounds silly but it helps me. You need to find out what works for you. Not easy when you feel like shit and just want to lie in bed though. Focus on doing good things, helping others and you will begin to feel better about yourself.
 
J

Jodie14

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Derby
I found one on the yellow pages, I was lucky and found a good one that actually cared about me.
My therapist helped me in a way that allowed me to get back on my feet to become strong enough to begin to work on my problems.
Initially I was too weak to do this and I just wanted the therapist to help me, this is normal, to be completely helpless and lost. No sense of direction, you don't know where you are or how you came to be there. I don't know how I managed to get strong enough to be able to fight back but it happened with time. Then begins the work which involves true bravery to face anxiety and depression head on and you need a guide or several guides to accomplish this. If you feel lost right now, please know this will pass.

I try to focus on simple things when I feel the worst, eating healthy, getting some exercise, seeing people I know and like, avoiding drugs and alcohol and junk food and so on. My thinking is: I managed to eat healthy and I did some exercise today, therefore I am not a complete failure, actually I am pretty OK. Sounds silly but it helps me. You need to find out what works for you. Not easy when you feel like shit and just want to lie in bed though. Focus on doing good things, helping others and you will begin to feel better about yourself.
Wow it sound like ur therapist really helped you. I’m so happy that you are in a good place now 👍🏻. I hope one day I can be too just at the minute I can not see it happening for me. I expect therapy would cost a bomb tho. Im a single mum of 3 under 5s so I doubt I would be able to afford it 😩. I have considered hypnosis but I don’t know if it is something that would work 🤷‍♀️.

Ur right tho all I want to do is go to bed and make the day go away. However Looking after my children stops me from doing that. I feel exhausted going over and over it in my head. I just want to socialise on a normal level. It shouldn’t be so hard. So why cnt I.

Do you know why or if there was a reason behind ur social anxiety?
 
B

Bfw94

Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Wales
Hi, thanks for ur reply. I feel u pain I really do. Its such an awful feeling depressing feeling. As Iv got older in some situations Iv got better but in some ways Iv got worse too And I think that is down to the fact Iv become more aware of my problem.

Iv been to my niece 3rd birthday party today. I was anxious before I went but I do push myself to go. when I was in the room I just kept my self to myself, unable to communicate, unable to have a conversation. I just feel so low now. I was invited back to my brothers but made my excuses and went home. Well Iv not stop crying since. I don’t want to be this person anymore, I hate me so much.

Can u tell me have u seeked medical advice for this? I don’t know what to do anymore x
Hi Jodie,

I know what you mean, I’m always making excuses to get out of anything that involves socialising. I Just can’t be bothered to do anything. Even shopping, I sit in the car for ages trying to build up the courage to go in. Because, for some reason I feel like everyone is watching everything I do. It’s awful.
I hope you are feeling a bit better now?
I’m having a hard time today with anxiety. I’m currently on antidepressants which I think help a bit, but they don’t seem to have helped the anxiety very much, especially not the social anxiety part. Maybe counselling would help to increase confidence a little bit? Have you tried this? I haven’t tried it myself
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
110
Location
europe
Wow it sound like ur therapist really helped you. I’m so happy that you are in a good place now 👍🏻. I hope one day I can be too just at the minute I can not see it happening for me. I expect therapy would cost a bomb tho. Im a single mum of 3 under 5s so I doubt I would be able to afford it 😩. I have considered hypnosis but I don’t know if it is something that would work 🤷‍♀️.

Ur right tho all I want to do is go to bed and make the day go away. However Looking after my children stops me from doing that. I feel exhausted going over and over it in my head. I just want to socialise on a normal level. It shouldn’t be so hard. So why cnt I.

Do you know why or if there was a reason behind ur social anxiety?
I think you're born with a tendency to become anxious, then when you are faced with stressors you may react with anxiety and depression. I try not to cling to a psych diagnosis because you can start to identify with it which is bad because our minds are far more complex than a collection of symptoms. Psych diagnoses are also not based on objective tests so they're not as reliable as other diagnoses.
Sometimes I feel really good but not always. I can get anxious and depressed to a degree that normal people can't even imagine. This is my burden and it will follow me for the rest of my life.

Having children can offer you a sense of self-esteem, you are helping them every day, teaching them and this is extremely important. I wish I could give you some advice on getting therapy which is cheap, often there are priests offering counseling, maybe ask at your local church? The most important isn't that it's psychotherapy but rather that the therapist cares about you and wants what is best for you.
 
J

Jodie14

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Derby
Hi Jodie,

I know what you mean, I’m always making excuses to get out of anything that involves socialising. I Just can’t be bothered to do anything. Even shopping, I sit in the car for ages trying to build up the courage to go in. Because, for some reason I feel like everyone is watching everything I do. It’s awful.
I hope you are feeling a bit better now?
I’m having a hard time today with anxiety. I’m currently on antidepressants which I think help a bit, but they don’t seem to have helped the anxiety very much, especially not the social anxiety part. Maybe counselling would help to increase confidence a little bit? Have you tried this? I haven’t tried it myself
Iv not seeked any sort of help. I thought I would try here 1st and see what kind of advice anybody could give. I’m guessing if ur on anti depressant, u seeked help from ur doctor. How did that go?

I’m sorry u were having a bad day yesterday. I hope it got better.

I not as bad when going shopping or doing anything where I know I will not see the same people again. As If I don’t talk then it don’t matter cus it’s not like I’m gunna see them again. It’s when I’m round people I see often. They must just look at me and think what’s the point 🤷‍♀️ Cus that’s how I feel in myself. What is the point in trying when it always ends in failure.

It’s actaully my niece birthday on wed so they are doing a little tea party and I’m already trying to find my excuse. Not because I don’t want to be there, cus I really do more than anything, but cus I cnt bear any more awkwardness. X
 
J

Jodie14

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Derby
I think you're born with a tendency to become anxious, then when you are faced with stressors you may react with anxiety and depression. I try not to cling to a psych diagnosis because you can start to identify with it which is bad because our minds are far more complex than a collection of symptoms. Psych diagnoses are also not based on objective tests so they're not as reliable as other diagnoses.
Sometimes I feel really good but not always. I can get anxious and depressed to a degree that normal people can't even imagine. This is my burden and it will follow me for the rest of my life.

Having children can offer you a sense of self-esteem, you are helping them every day, teaching them and this is extremely important. I wish I could give you some advice on getting therapy which is cheap, often there are priests offering counseling, maybe ask at your local church? The most important isn't that it's psychotherapy but rather that the therapist cares about you and wants what is best for you.

Thank you for the advice, I do go to church quiet regularly as I take the kiddies to play groups but I would never I thought of that. I guess theres one problem tho, How do u ask for help when u have so much anxiety around talking and opening up.
I have been thinking about seeing a dr for help. But again it’s gaining the courage. It’s been nearly 3 years since I decided that! I guess I’m gunna have to really find some inner strength from some where.

I don’t really have any self esteem or confidence for that matter. Some days I feel I literally have nothing to give, so who would want to be around me. I offer nothing.

It’s only My children keeping me together. I live for them really. If it wasn't for them I don’t know where I would be. X
 
U

user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
110
Location
europe
Thank you for the advice, I do go to church quiet regularly as I take the kiddies to play groups but I would never I thought of that. I guess theres one problem tho, How do u ask for help when u have so much anxiety around talking and opening up.
I have been thinking about seeing a dr for help. But again it’s gaining the courage. It’s been nearly 3 years since I decided that! I guess I’m gunna have to really find some inner strength from some where.

I don’t really have any self esteem or confidence for that matter. Some days I feel I literally have nothing to give, so who would want to be around me. I offer nothing.

It’s only My children keeping me together. I live for them really. If it wasn't for them I don’t know where I would be. X
If you don't have the courage to ask a particular person for help, it could be that you need to ask someone else. If you're uncertain if you want to ask someone for help, try contacting them on a different matter just to observe them and see if they are 'right' for you.

You sound like a very good mother and you need to acknowledge how good you actually are. I am sure you can remember helping, supporting and teaching your children and getting a positive response. Think of all the love you are giving them, that is truly the greatest gift you can give anyone and you are indeed offering them everything.
 
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