- Jul 9, 2021
Hi, I've just joined. Don't usually post on things like this but I'm feeling so low. I have had social anxiety for as long as I remember and it's held me back in so many ways. I recently turned 30 and my head is spiralling. What have I done with my life? I have a 2 beautiful kids and a supportive partner which I am truly grateful for and I have overcome certain things such as making friends (more for my kids sake) who have turned out to be great but I just feel so lost. I don't know what to do for a job when my youngest is old enough. I don't go out anywhere other than little play dates for the kids and everyday shopping. The things I want to try to make myself a better person involve going to classes which I don't do. Since the birth of my second child and Covid my anxiety has just gone so much worse and I find myself obsessing over details which don't even matter. I can pick myself up for a few days then it only takes something so small and I'm back to truly hating myself and getting more depressed. I have spoken to friends who have been good to me but I don't want to keep going on about it as it brings them down and they have their own problems. I have to put on an act pretending things are better than they are and it's exhausting. The guilt is horrendous as I know there are people worse off. Something needs to change and I have to push myself but I just don't know how. Been on meds/had therapy in the past and not much affect. Sorry I'm waffling but just needed to let some of it out to someone who might just understand..