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Social Anxiety sucks!

B

Bex28

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Jul 9, 2021
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Manchester
Hi, I've just joined. Don't usually post on things like this but I'm feeling so low. I have had social anxiety for as long as I remember and it's held me back in so many ways. I recently turned 30 and my head is spiralling. What have I done with my life? I have a 2 beautiful kids and a supportive partner which I am truly grateful for and I have overcome certain things such as making friends (more for my kids sake) who have turned out to be great but I just feel so lost. I don't know what to do for a job when my youngest is old enough. I don't go out anywhere other than little play dates for the kids and everyday shopping. The things I want to try to make myself a better person involve going to classes which I don't do. Since the birth of my second child and Covid my anxiety has just gone so much worse and I find myself obsessing over details which don't even matter. I can pick myself up for a few days then it only takes something so small and I'm back to truly hating myself and getting more depressed. I have spoken to friends who have been good to me but I don't want to keep going on about it as it brings them down and they have their own problems. I have to put on an act pretending things are better than they are and it's exhausting. The guilt is horrendous as I know there are people worse off. Something needs to change and I have to push myself but I just don't know how. Been on meds/had therapy in the past and not much affect. Sorry I'm waffling but just needed to let some of it out to someone who might just understand..
 
bluestar ocean

bluestar ocean

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Jul 4, 2020
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106
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london
It sounds like, and is also normal, that you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and worrying about the way you feel. If one finds themselves obsessing over unimportant details and fixating on something that's arbitrary or unimportant that can be pretty distressing.

I was told by therapist there's a form of self therapy. Where you get a lot of blank paper and then do assessments charts graphs and future forecasts for yourself as well as past reviews in order try to figure out things.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Yes, it is a drag. Is there anything you do to calm down? Something to reduce the anxiety? I do some EFT tapping, that helps a bit. Otherwise, I just try to get enough rest, eat decent foods, and take walks every day.
 
bluestar ocean

bluestar ocean

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One thing I found that kind of takes you out of your body and mind. Don't may sound a little bit simple and even childish. Is find a place that you're alone and put on music on headphones or Radio that you really like and just dance. I found this takes me out of my mind and body. It just has to be music that you really like I want to move to. Time doesn't stay the same situations don't stay the same. What is happening now will not possibly be happening in a month or two or next year.
 
B

Bex28

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Manchester
One thing I found that kind of takes you out of your body and mind. Don't may sound a little bit simple and even childish. Is find a place that you're alone and put on music on headphones or Radio that you really like and just dance. I found this takes me out of my mind and body. It just has to be music that you really like I want to move to. Time doesn't stay the same situations don't stay the same. What is happening now will not possibly be happening in a month or two or next year.
Thank you for your detailed replies. I think I need to try the self therapy and writing things down. Just not quite sure where to start! I get a bit bogged down with the detail of what I should be doing and not actually doing any of it 🙈 Dancing unfortunately for me is a no no. I don't know why but I've never been able to let myself go enough to dance (even on my own!) I do like listening to music though.
 
B

Bex28

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Manchester
Yes, it is a drag. Is there anything you do to calm down? Something to reduce the anxiety? I do some EFT tapping, that helps a bit. Otherwise, I just try to get enough rest, eat decent foods, and take walks every day.
I normally just try deep breathing or sticking music with headphones though the second isn't always possible as I've got 2 kids to run around after haha diet and exercise I could do with looking at it's just finding the motivation at the moment
 
jajingna

jajingna

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writing things down.
Do you write in a journal? There is a section for that on here. I dunno how useful it is but can be good for exploring some thoughts. I do a bit of that, just write about whatever, and see where it goes, sometimes it's surprising, like a bit of discovery.
 
B

Bex28

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Manchester
Do you write in a journal? There is a section for that on here. I dunno how useful it is but can be good for exploring some thoughts. I do a bit of that, just write about whatever, and see where it goes, sometimes it's surprising, like a bit of discovery.
I have done in the past but not done for a long time. There's an app I've just downloaded called woebot too thats got a gratitude journal and it's supposed to help you work through your negative thoughts and turn into more positive ones. Not sure if it's any good yet.
 
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