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Social anxiety success stories ?

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Bb2019

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
22
Location
Ireland
I am really freaking out the last few days and worrying about everything to the point I can't even sleep . My boyfriend asked me to hang out with one of his friends sometime in the next few weeks and the thought of it sent me into complete panic mode and the more I thought about how pathetic it was to be scared to meet just one person the more my thoughts spiralled out of control . I've been thinking how I haven't worked in years and maybe will never work , how I have no friends and struggle to even leave the house most days , how I just can't function around most people . It seems like its never going to get any better than this and the thought of that makes me want to end my life . So I'm asking has anyone been able to overcome their social anxiety and live a normal happy life ? I just really need to hear that someone has managed it to give me some hope
 
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CyberAnxiousYoda

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2019
Messages
12
Location
London
My social life has totally left me. I find it hard to believe that anyone would want to get to know me. I haven't worked in a very long time due to being sectioned more than three times in the last year.

I had a boyfriend but my substance use and general lack of good judgement caused me to mess that up.

Only recently I have felt, no, I am worth working for a good life again.

If I can do it, so can you. By the way, you do have at least one friend. Me.
We have these intense and hard feelings in common, and that's one of the strongest bonds you can have with a person.

I have been through such extreme anxiety I wanted to just "go to sleep" so I wouldn't have to feel the feeling anymore. BUT NO. Have heart love. This too shall pass. During this time that you spend alone, you have gained the skill of being able to sit, on your own and really think about what you're going through. People who just can't stop doing things, would find it VERY hard to just stop, and think, and have to come to terms with what life is, and what they think about themselves.

AND, look how brave you are to come on here and ask for help?

Two types of people; people who know they got problems to sort, and people stressing over insta filters and the next place to go.


I have had such bad anxiety I had to be sedated.

P.S if you ever feel anxious about something you've done. I PROMISE I've done worse.




By the way, talking to yourself is the only way of having an intelligent conversation.

plus, I wouldn't wanna be a member of a club that would have me as a member, because then I'd have to give a tour to all new members and have them leave cos they can't afford it.
 
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CyberAnxiousYoda

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2019
Messages
12
Location
London
I am really freaking out the last few days and worrying about everything to the point I can't even sleep . My boyfriend asked me to hang out with one of his friends sometime in the next few weeks and the thought of it sent me into complete panic mode and the more I thought about how pathetic it was to be scared to meet just one person the more my thoughts spiralled out of control . I've been thinking how I haven't worked in years and maybe will never work , how I have no friends and struggle to even leave the house most days , how I just can't function around most people . It seems like its never going to get any better than this and the thought of that makes me want to end my life . So I'm asking has anyone been able to overcome their social anxiety and live a normal happy life ? I just really need to hear that someone has managed it to give me some hope

and P.S you asked to hear that someone has had extreme anxiety. I have.

feelings that make sense;

Love; you care about that person

hunger; you need food

thirst; you need water

tired; you need sleep

anger; stuff gets annoying and long

cold; it's cold

hot; it's hot

anxiety; ......hey whatsaupp???? I'm still useless? oh you good being human? K imma head out.
 
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Annie794

Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2019
Messages
9
Location
United States
I am not fully a success story yet, but I am getting better and I believe I will be completely free of social anxiety as I continue working on myself. Hopefully my story will bring you hope. I am 29 years old, never had a boyfriend before or even a blind date, and I have just a bunch of acquaintances and a few very shallow friendships. I have been afraid of social situations ever since 3rd grade, when I came to the realization that I had no friends after my only friend moved away. My whole entire life, I felt like I was trapped in my mind and unable to speak up for myself. I never had anyone to sit with in the lunch room or play with during recess, and those were the parts of school I dreaded most, since everyone else was happily playing with their friends and I was the only one alone. I always wished I could blend into the background so people wouldn't see how pathetic I was. Fast forward many years and I am able to have the occasional casual conversation with someone, although it often starts taking an awkward turn at some point. I put all my time into school and tv shows, and then work and tv shows after graduating. I expected to live my whole life alone and probably become an old cat or dog lady.


Two and a half years ago, someone got me into alternative healing and helped to bring me hope. I started diving into crystal healing and meditation, and eventually got into books on spiritual healing. Each thing I tried out helped me feel better, but the fears inside me were still so strong that I was sure it would take years to get better. About six months ago, I felt like locking myself in a room and just crying out my frustration, so that was what I did. While crying, I felt exactly like I did as a child, even though I hadn’t felt that way in years. Some of these emotions I forgot I even had. The emotions were very painful, but after like 30 minutes I was finished and felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt freer and a little less afraid, and I think people at work saw a little more confidence in me. Since that time, I have begun devoting a little time every other day to feeling the emotions inside my body. I have seriously become more emotionally stable and more confident about myself in everyday life by doing this. I’ve realized the emotions in our bodies were just waiting to be acknowledged. Once acknowledged and felt, they will leave us. If the painful emotions stay in our bodies, we will keep being afraid of another person or situation inflicting that kind of hurt on us, but if the emotions leave us then we are free from that fear. The key though is not to judge your emotions. Just feel them. If you judge them, then you are inflicting more hurt on yourself. Hopefully this is helpful. I needed to share this since it’s helping me a lot and all of the posts on these forums reflect how I used to feel about myself and about life.
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
148
Location
europe
I love that story @Annie794 ! It brings me a lot of hope. You should be very proud, not only have you survived this horrible disease but you have a job and you are starting to get better. Normal people have no idea but I know how hard it is being a sufferer of social anxiety all my life. Are you part of a group practising healing?
 
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Annie794

Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2019
Messages
9
Location
United States
I have never actually joined a group, since I'm still intimidated by groups of people. Possibly in the future. A lot of my healing journey was reading books on healing and practicing their recommended meditation techniques. I also have gotten advice from my psychic along the way, so I didn't feel totally alone. It's a pretty lonely journey, but recently I have met two people who are also healing themselves in similar ways, so I feel like I have healing buddies now, even though they don't suffer from social anxiety. They both have their own sets of issues that keep them from fully connecting with others and living life, and self-hating thought patterns that they are trying to let go of. I am grateful every day for my friend who got me into this stuff. I used to think I was gonna be lonely and unable to communicate for life. I would tried to drown out my misery by escaping into fantasy genre shows, movies, and books. Meanwhile, time and life were passing me by. I actually have faith in myself now as a result of this healing work, and this is the first time in all my 29 years.

I love that story @Annie794 ! It brings me a lot of hope. You should be very proud, not only have you survived this horrible disease but you have a job and you are starting to get better. Normal people have no idea but I know how hard it is being a sufferer of social anxiety all my life. Are you part of a group practising healing?
 
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Annie794

Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2019
Messages
9
Location
United States
Want to add that calling yourself a loser and thinking that there's something is wrong with you is detrimental to your well-being. So is being frustrated with yourself for things that are not your fault. By doing that, you are reinforcing the idea that you're broken and can't be fixed. That is actually not true. This was a lesson I learned the hard way in my healing journey.
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
148
Location
europe
I have never actually joined a group, since I'm still intimidated by groups of people. Possibly in the future.
I have always been afraid of joining a group. I have been bullied and the fear remains. It can also be intimidating to make new friends but I also want to make new friends. I do believe that almost all humans want to belong to a group and to have friends.
 
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Bb2019

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
22
Location
Ireland
thank you all so much for your kind words and sharing your stories , I just came on here because right now I'm feeling down and beating myself up for being so anxious , so it was really nice to come on here and be able to read your experiences . You've made me feel like its ok to feel how I'm feeling right now and I can't thank you enough for that :)
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
148
Location
europe
Want to add that calling yourself a loser and thinking that there's something is wrong with you is detrimental to your well-being. So is being frustrated with yourself for things that are not your fault. By doing that, you are reinforcing the idea that you're broken and can't be fixed. That is actually not true. This was a lesson I learned the hard way in my healing journey.
I agree with that, you should try to see yourself in a positive light. It can be hard sometimes though. It does take some mind changing at least for me. Sometimes my head is just filled with negative and depressive thoughts. How do you change your mind @Annie794 ?
 
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Annie794

Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2019
Messages
9
Location
United States
I agree with that, you should try to see yourself in a positive light. It can be hard sometimes though. It does take some mind changing at least for me. Sometimes my head is just filled with negative and depressive thoughts. How do you change your mind @Annie794 ?
It takes a lot of work and time. I have been working on positive thinking with the guidance of self-help books. Many times I can train myself to think positive thoughts in the moment but then the negative ones always pop up again later on. I just try to catch myself in the act and re-frame the thought into something more positive. Like transforming "I'm slow at my job" to "I will work on improving my speed." It's not easy and sometimes I face setbacks, but it's important not to give up on myself. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I'm still not where I would like to be, but then I think about what I was like a year ago and realize that I have actually changed quite a bit. That realization gives me the strength to keep going.
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
148
Location
europe
It takes a lot of work and time. I have been working on positive thinking with the guidance of self-help books. Many times I can train myself to think positive thoughts in the moment but then the negative ones always pop up again later on. I just try to catch myself in the act and re-frame the thought into something more positive. Like transforming "I'm slow at my job" to "I will work on improving my speed." It's not easy and sometimes I face setbacks, but it's important not to give up on myself. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I'm still not where I would like to be, but then I think about what I was like a year ago and realize that I have actually changed quite a bit. That realization gives me the strength to keep going.
We're not the only ones plagued with these negative thoughts, just look at the enourmous amounts of chemicals 'normal' people use every day to change their minds:
alcohol, marijuana, narcotics and pharmaceutical drugs and junk food.
Then you can add all those people addicted to physical exercise and so on and it's easy to realize that this problem is probably shared by almost every human. We are the only ones talking about it in a forum though.

I have read many books on how to re-frame thoughts and I have had some success but it's hard to maintain. I would like to discuss this more because just reading suggestions in a book is almost never enough, you need to have a real discussions with people trying to achieve real results. I don't want the chemicals.
 
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Annie794

Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2019
Messages
9
Location
United States
We're not the only ones plagued with these negative thoughts, just look at the enourmous amounts of chemicals 'normal' people use every day to change their minds:
alcohol, marijuana, narcotics and pharmaceutical drugs and junk food.
Then you can add all those people addicted to physical exercise and so on and it's easy to realize that this problem is probably shared by almost every human. We are the only ones talking about it in a forum though.

I have read many books on how to re-frame thoughts and I have had some success but it's hard to maintain. I would like to discuss this more because just reading suggestions in a book is almost never enough, you need to have a real discussions with people trying to achieve real results. I don't want the chemicals.
It's good that you don't want the chemicals. They're only good for dulling the pain for short moments. They don't actually help heal it away. I have difficulty re-framing thoughts too and sometimes find myself going back to old thinking habits. It needs effort and maintenance but is worthwhile in the long run. I have also found journaling to be a good outlet for my emotions and my overthinking. I like to think of it as pouring my thoughts and feelings into the pages so that they leave my system. I always feel better and think more rationally after doing so.
 
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user9898

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
148
Location
europe
It's good that you don't want the chemicals. They're only good for dulling the pain for short moments. They don't actually help heal it away. I have difficulty re-framing thoughts too and sometimes find myself going back to old thinking habits. It needs effort and maintenance but is worthwhile in the long run. I have also found journaling to be a good outlet for my emotions and my overthinking. I like to think of it as pouring my thoughts and feelings into the pages so that they leave my system. I always feel better and think more rationally after doing so.
I can give one personal example of a negative thought I am having right now:
I asked a colleague via email to sign a physical certificate of mine, and he said yes. This was over a week ago but still nothing in the mail. My negative thinking is that he is disrespecting me by not signing it fast enough or that he doesn't want to sign it.

I am trying to reframe it as he hasn't had the time to sign it or he doesn't know how to correctly fill in the required info and hasn't had the time to ask someone else for help. Also, I don't need the certificate in several months so I can afford to wait.

Some authors suggest that you can use imagination when trying to reframe:
He's a golfer so when he tried to sign the certificate, he mistook the golf club for the pen, missed the golf ball (using the pen instead of the club), lost his balance and fell on the golf ball knocking him out unconscious and hospitalizing him. I am now imagining him in the hospital in a whole body plaster cast, unable to move. Drinking through a straw. This is a perfect explanation as to why he hasn't mailed me the certificate yet.

Can you give me an example of your reframing process?
 
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ramboghettouk

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
15,514
Location
london
seneca reckoned if you always looked on the pessimistic side your always pleasently surprised, he's not exactly a positive thinking champion
 
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