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Social anxiety is literally killing me slowly. HELP

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Sean.mu92

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6
#1
Hi everyone my names Sean i just became part of this website because im struggling with social anxiety and have absolitely no where else to turn. I need inspiration and help from anyone and everyone. I cant even relax around my own family. Everytime somebody even looks at me for too long my face gets all red because my self esteem is so low. Every morning i wake up ny heart starts POUNDING because im so scared i have to face the world for an entire day. For instance i woke up this morning and went out to the doctors office (which was no help at all my doctor wont prescribe me anything that really helps with my anxiety) and i sae this girl that i used to know and she stared at me until she recognized me and then said hi. Once she said hi to me my heart started pounding and racing. My hands started to shake. My feet started to shake. And everyone can see me looking so frightened. She asked me a few questions and i just answered them as quickly as possible to get her to stop looking at me. I need someone to guide me i need this to stop i would do anything. Why is my self esteem so low ? Why am i so scared of other people ? I have been thinking well in advance of things to say to people if i have to communicate. This is not fair to anyone. I live in a prison inside my own head. Somebody please help me.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
39,289
Location
Lancashire
#2
hello Sean and :welcome: to the forum. You are trapped in a whirlpool of anxiety aren't you? It must be horrible for you. Can you see another doctor at the same practice or is it a one doc type? If there are other doctors go and see another one and ask for medication to help. I had to see 6 once before one realised how ill I was.

I don't always go straight to medication as an answer but you need something to get you past the initial fear reaction. Then you need to look into why this is happening and how to over come it. have you had ay proper therapy to get to the root of this and have some techniques to help you suggested?

There is a book I recommend called "Emotional Hijacking" by Marlene Schneider Potter. I hope its still available on Amazon. Its written in big letters and simply as she realises that people in emotional crisis can't read a wall of text.

I hope others will be along soon to reach out to you.
 
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exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,686
#3
Hello Sean and welcome.
Good advice from Calypso who is very wise. Definitely see about some kind of talking therapy if you can and go back and see another GP.
There is lots of information here too on the forum and peoples experiences are very helpful I find.
I hope that you find the forum a good support. All best wishes:)
 
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twistandturns

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
7
#4
I am new to this forum too. We can give ourselves a big pat on the back for taking a small but positive step forwards by joining me thinks. The advice given to you by calypso about seeing another doctor is spot on. I went to see 3 different doctors before my voice was heard. It helped me to write down how I was feeling and hand the note to the doctor. It helped me to breath and feel like I had some space around me.
 
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Sean.mu92

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6
#5
Thank you for the replies everyone. To Calypso, the doctor i currently am seeing is the head doctor of the practice and if he wont help me with medication then the other doctors also will not prescribe anything. The only medication that helps me is benzodiazepines. Although because they are becoming extremely hard to get prescribed (if you arent already on them, or have been for years) it makes me even more nervous to know somebody, IF ANYBODY needs them, cannot get them. I will also disclose that i have had a problem with substance abuse on my medical record. Which makes it about 50% harder to get prescribed. And also, currently i see a psychiatrist who does not believe in prescribing benzodiazepines. Currently i take no medications at all. Im about to quit my job because im so fucking nervous of even somone talking to me. Theres gotta be some sort of help i can get. The thing is, is that i need the help now not tomorrow or the next day.
 
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Sean.mu92

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6
#6
Thats a really good idea. I am going to write a note to my doctor. And include everything i have been going through that way i wont forget anything
 
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Sean.mu92

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6
#7
Hey Calypso im sorry i replied to this comment down at the bottom by accident because i didnt know you could reply right underneath
 
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TroubleinParadise

Active member
Joined
Jun 28, 2018
Messages
28
#8
Cognitive behavioral & exposure therapy can do wonders. Does your psychiatrist do this? It may do you some good.
 
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Sean.mu92

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6
#9
I do not think so he only meets with me for 10 minutes. But i just scheduled a therapist appointment for this monday at 11am. So just gotta get thru the weekend. My anxiety is now not only in social situations but also when im alone. Its slowly getting worse. Its up to my throat. I even threw up. Im debating going to a psych hospital but that could cost me my job at the restaurant bc i would have to call in sick and i already called in sick 3 days in a row a few weeks ago so i cant do that again or im history. But i also cannot live like this. What should i do ?
 
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twistandturns

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
7
#10
Its so hard living with anxiety especially when it feels like its in top gear. I can imagine that Monday must feel as though its a lifetime away. When I am really struggling to cope when anxiety is triggering I take mindfulness moments. Its about bringing your focus to one thing. For example: If I am home, I hold an ice cube in my hand. Bringing my attention, my concentration only to the ice that is melting. Notice what it feels like thinking only about the ice in my hand. Just breathing and focusing on the ice. In those moments, in those few minutes for me the rushing thoughts and panic are not stealing my space, my energy. It feels like a tiny respites. Helps me feel calmer, like I've taken back control. Letting a square of chocolate melt on your tongue works well too. Taking long, slow deep breaths and focusing only on your breathing is a good one. If your mind wonders just bring it back with compassion. It really helps me and it gets easier with not too much practice. I take loads of tiny respites everyday.
 
Jbb79

Jbb79

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 15, 2018
Messages
291
Location
Aalestrup --Dk
#11
Wow, I Don't know much about Anxiety, You Need help And, You deserve help x x

I Don't know what to say, You deserve a Break from Work, To figure This out x xx

I Think you need to realize, You're Good enough And, That you Deserve good things x x Try to relax, If possible x x
 
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Sean.mu92

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6
#12
Thanks guys. Holding an ice cube is part of a mindfulness approach and i can appreciate that as well as try it for myself. So i wont comment on it until i try it. Also god answered my prayers i just saw a new doctor today and he prescribed me 1mg of klonopin twice a day (BID). He also gave me 900mg of gabapebtin a day. So at least now i can live my life. But thats just a bandaid. I now need to get to the root of the problem