Social anxiety is killing me

P

Paulekas

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Chicago
#1
I developed social anxiety like 10 years ago first it started with abdominal issues and all other symptoms i pretty much developed panick attacks and started avoiding situations where i had panick before now i am isolated from everything any time i need to go somewhere or meet new people i get very nervous and that stress causes me to have physical symptoms like stomach issues even irregular heart sometimes i feel like life is over and i am 30 years old.... Maybe someone has the same issue and we could help each other :)?
 
KeenOldCadaver

KeenOldCadaver

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
#2
I just turned 30 this past October, and I understand your sentiment that "life is over". It's really not though. I'm single, no kids, still living with the parents because of bad decisions in my life, and I got myself into a rut where I felt like things were hopeless. I felt like if I didn't have kids right this second, I would never be a dad. If I went back to school or whatever, I'd be ancient by the time I got done with my degree, etc.

None of that's true. A buddy of mine, he is upwards of 45 and just had a little one. He's loving life, his life is far from over. Another inspiration? Jimmy Fallon. Why? He said his 30s were the best years of his life. That gave me hope for my 30s, and maybe it will for you too.

As far as social anxiety goes, I feel like I can relate, but my anxiety is probably not as bad as others'. To me, it's bad because of relativity and stuff, but I still have trouble with it. Like, I recently asked a girl out at work. Leading up to that, I was a huge mess. I did it...I asked her out, but when I got back to my assignment, I was shaking and nervous for the rest of the night. Now that things are dying down between us and I'm waiting for her to contact me again, I'm thinking about asking another girl to hang out. I want to find some girls and just be friends, then see if there's a relationship anywhere. Well, now, when I see this second girl, I kind of turn into a nervous wreck of anxiety and nerves running rampant. Actually, with the girl at work, my anxiety is still pretty bad too. Like, I always want to talk to her, but I'm so afraid I'll say something wrong that I clam up, look away, and immediately feel horrible about myself.

The best thing I can offer for anxiety is just to be yourself. You're cool because you're you. People, once they get to know you, will love you for you, and that's all that really matters. If they don't have the ability to befriend you, there will be others. Not everyone is super nice, but there are so many wonderful people out there that it's worth it to try to at least suppress the anxiety if at all possible.

What all kinds of situations do you avoid because of panic attacks? Maybe there's a little trick here or there to work through it?

After school and before I started work, I isolated myself for about six years. The only contact I had was family and it was limited. It's fine to be isolated to some extent, but after getting back to work, I honestly feel like human contact and interaction is a really good thing. We just have to work through our anxiety in order to get there.
 

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