A
Atanvardo
New member
Hello everyone, so since i was a child i always had Social Anxiety to the point that i couldn’t easily go along with others, my main problem is the sheer fear i feel of meeting and being in contact with peoples (this problem do diminish with time but never go away, still to this day i still have problems to really talk to my own family or peoples i know for years) because of this anxiety i became an introvert to the extreme (to the point of being a shut-in) and it’s been several month since i left my house (i’m 25 and still live with my parents, not that uncommon for my family, i’am not the oldest to do so) for others then obligations.
Of course it’s not a surprising that because of that it’s nearly impossible for me to commons thing like find a job (when meeting news peoples i am so anxious that i become a sort of emotionless meat robot and that stage last at least several months before it start to slowly ease up) and i’m so nervous in job interview that i am never called back (doesn’t help that some job are nearly impossible for me, mainly those with a lot of human interaction) with that come another problem: the simple fact of leaving my house nearly trigger panic attack if i’am not with someone i know and trust: the result of this is that i never had a job and it’s been nearly 5 years that i finished school, i don’t see myself finding one (or keeping it long if i find one by miracle).
Social anxiety (and my shut-in style of life) completely destroyed my hope (and desire? I’m still not sure) of ever having a love life, while i had a few crush and some peoples seemed to have that kind of affection for me i never had the strength to try to start something with them: the simple idea of trying scared me because of that fact that if i ever tried to and ended up rejected in the end (or just a break up) it would break me, of course that counting on the fact it could even trust them enough to start something with them or that my shut-in life would even make it possible for them to want that.
My biggest problem among them is that i don’t think i have the strength to change, i doubt anybody among my close ones even know how hard it’s for me to simply be me and that because i’m a really good pathological liar: i have more mask than i can count i’m not even sure i know myself. I did consult psychologists and therapists alike but nothing they ever told me or prescribed me helped.
I wrote all this to get it out of my chest (not the first time since i did seek professional help after all) and ask this question: if you went through a similar experience or know someone who did then did you (or they) ever found a way to cope with their problems or, i dare to hope, found a solution and ended up having a normal life?
ps: also sorry for the near litteral wall of text you just read, didn’t realise i wrote this much.
Of course it’s not a surprising that because of that it’s nearly impossible for me to commons thing like find a job (when meeting news peoples i am so anxious that i become a sort of emotionless meat robot and that stage last at least several months before it start to slowly ease up) and i’m so nervous in job interview that i am never called back (doesn’t help that some job are nearly impossible for me, mainly those with a lot of human interaction) with that come another problem: the simple fact of leaving my house nearly trigger panic attack if i’am not with someone i know and trust: the result of this is that i never had a job and it’s been nearly 5 years that i finished school, i don’t see myself finding one (or keeping it long if i find one by miracle).
Social anxiety (and my shut-in style of life) completely destroyed my hope (and desire? I’m still not sure) of ever having a love life, while i had a few crush and some peoples seemed to have that kind of affection for me i never had the strength to try to start something with them: the simple idea of trying scared me because of that fact that if i ever tried to and ended up rejected in the end (or just a break up) it would break me, of course that counting on the fact it could even trust them enough to start something with them or that my shut-in life would even make it possible for them to want that.
My biggest problem among them is that i don’t think i have the strength to change, i doubt anybody among my close ones even know how hard it’s for me to simply be me and that because i’m a really good pathological liar: i have more mask than i can count i’m not even sure i know myself. I did consult psychologists and therapists alike but nothing they ever told me or prescribed me helped.
I wrote all this to get it out of my chest (not the first time since i did seek professional help after all) and ask this question: if you went through a similar experience or know someone who did then did you (or they) ever found a way to cope with their problems or, i dare to hope, found a solution and ended up having a normal life?
ps: also sorry for the near litteral wall of text you just read, didn’t realise i wrote this much.