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Social anxiety controls my life and it makes me so depressed.

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depressed_person18

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
22
Location
United Kingdom
Every move that I make, every thought that I have is influenced by my social anxiety. Basic things like entering a room of people I put off doing for hours, even if I really need to retrieve something in said room. That's just one general example. It's hard for me to concentrate on whatever it is that I am trying to do when my mind is so occupied by how pathetic I am at getting things done, all because of my social anxiety. So I overthink a lot when I am by myself.

I feel like I will not get far in life. I just want to be able to do things without caring about how my anxiety makes me feel, but it's like when I try to move my body into an uncomfortable situation it just does not want to go. I have to literally force myself every single time. Not to mention that I am absolutely awful at speaking to people, I come off as an incoherent mess and my voice sounds so weak and high pitched. And I am so reluctant to say a word. I'm so done with living this way. It's been like this too long and I have always been too much of a pathetic idiot to do anything about it.
 
EverybodyHurts

EverybodyHurts

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
348
Location
Bucks
You're not a pathetic idiot - the anxiety is just making it hard for you to do what you want/need to do.
Are you able to speak to your GP about how much this is affecting your life?
 
Hillman hunter

Hillman hunter

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
1,351
Location
Stourbridge
Hello, your not pathetic or an idiot, its impossibly hard with social anxiety,
It takes you over,
Yes be a good idea to talk to your gp, or a mental health nurse, I have one, she's good,
Take care,
We are all here for you
 
D

depressed_person18

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
22
Location
United Kingdom
You're not a pathetic idiot - the anxiety is just making it hard for you to do what you want/need to do.
Are you able to speak to your GP about how much this is affecting your life?
I wish I could but I can’t even talk on the phone to make an appointment and I feel embarrassed to ask someone to do that for me.
 
EverybodyHurts

EverybodyHurts

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
348
Location
Bucks
I wish I could but I can’t even talk on the phone to make an appointment and I feel embarrassed to ask someone to do that for me.
Could you book an appointment online? Most GPs have some sort of online system now.
 
Hillman hunter

Hillman hunter

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
1,351
Location
Stourbridge
I used to be terrified of the telephone,
I'm still a bit shaky, but I try to calm my breathing down,
Or picture something relaxing in my mind,
It takes practice,and some days are better then others,
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,269
Every move that I make, every thought that I have is influenced by my social anxiety. Basic things like entering a room of people I put off doing for hours, even if I really need to retrieve something in said room. That's just one general example. It's hard for me to concentrate on whatever it is that I am trying to do when my mind is so occupied by how pathetic I am at getting things done, all because of my social anxiety. So I overthink a lot when I am by myself.

I feel like I will not get far in life. I just want to be able to do things without caring about how my anxiety makes me feel, but it's like when I try to move my body into an uncomfortable situation it just does not want to go. I have to literally force myself every single time. Not to mention that I am absolutely awful at speaking to people, I come off as an incoherent mess and my voice sounds so weak and high pitched. And I am so reluctant to say a word. I'm so done with living this way. It's been like this too long and I have always been too much of a pathetic idiot to do anything about it.
Beating yourself up isn't the answer. Crowds of strangers can be daunting for many... is it possible to make things simpler/easier? In my opinion it's good you have had enough of feeling this way, and you want to do something positive about it. I wonder if there are courses available on giving confidence in Social situations. There are many who suffer with this in silence, so if there aren't courses, it's about time there was in my opinion. I think approaching the Doctor is also a good idea :)
 
H

Halpme94

New member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Fountain Valley
You are ...exactly like me.. word for word this is exactly my experiences too. It affects me at work and other places but I’m just worried about work what if I’m fired. I just don’t know what to do but as wretched as this sounds I was comforted by seeing your post about your experiences with social anxiety. Now at least I don’t feel so alone I suppose :(?
 
Faith198

Faith198

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
817
Location
U.S.
You are not pathetic or an idiot, I struggle with the same thing. Some days I can deal with it better, other days not so much. I think what made me come out of my shell (a little bit) when it came to social anxiety is exposing myself to my fears. Which you have been doing in a way, because you’ve been in situations where you have to. That is really the best thing I can recommend. Is exposing yourself to things you find difficult. I understand it isn’t easy though. Maybe if you haven’t already I’d consider some anti anxiety meds if you haven’t already? It can take the edge off, making things less scary and the physical symptoms it causes when you’re anxious doing these things .

whatever you do, don’t give up on yourself. You are worthy. You are strong to do all you’re doing now. Just take baby steps. One day at a time. I’m one of those people that fakes my confidence and how I feel. It’s not easy or fun but it does help me get through what seems impossible.

I wish you the best :grouphug:
 
B

babyblue1

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Houston, Texas
Like others have said, it’s amazing that you’ve realized this and are seeking help to improve. I can tell you’re a very intelligent and capable person just by the way you type. I struggle with this too and I feel for you 100%. It’s a weird and very annoying struggle to have. My advice is not to put yourself down when you feel like you’ve failed at something. Many many people go through this and it’s very normal at this point. Take everything as an opportunity to learn and keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Things will get better!
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
53
Location
Canada
I'm a bit of an old hand now with this issue with over four decades of experience in being timid. I don't have any solutions though, it's been with me from kindergarten to today. If I had a solution I'd be using it.

Even if I often wanted to be more outgoing or talkative, it's just not who I am. I think loads of people have misread me for this.

Not everyone is keen on quietness either. You know, a lot of people just feel uncomfortable unless there's lot of talking.

If you're not much of a talker, maybe you can be observant and attentive, and people do love someone who listens to them.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,269
In my opinion thinking too much about other people's expectations and trying to live up to them can become a downward spiral. For someone's peace of mind, it's probably better to be content with who you are as a person, and just build on developing yourself (adding to, not trying to take away)...
 
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