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Social anxiety and depression in a new relationship .need advice !

B

Bb2019

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Ireland
Hi guys , this is my first ever post so not sure if it's even in the right place but I could really use some advice and opinions on my situation . I just got into a new relationship at the beginning of the year , we get on pretty well and he's very sweet to me but one issue I'm having is that he doesn't seem to listen when I tell him no or I can't do something . I haven't been completely open with him about my anxiety and depression but I have mentioned how certain situations cause me anxiety and make me very uncomfortable , he says he understands but then he keeps forcing the issue for me to go places like out to dinner or go to events with him ,even with sex he forces the issue .Recently I've had a lack of sex drive due to depression so I told him I was stressed out about a few things and wasn't in the mood but he keeps forcing himself on me until I give in and change my mind , I've only said no to his advances maybe 3 or 4 times and he kept pushing until he got his own way so now I don't even say no . It's really bothering because I'm starting to feel bad or that I've let him down if I don't push through the anxiety and go to these places or give in any time he wants sex . It's got to the point where I've been avoiding seeing him . Am I wrong to be bothered by this ? Any advice on what I could do to help the situation would be great !
 
F

Fallingfromthetop

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 16, 2019
Messages
157
Location
Slipperyslope
You are not wrong to be bothered but at the same time you set yourself in it by not being totally honest.

Also if you say no, you can't give in to his advances and think his behavior goes away, now you already established that no doesn't mean no if he keeps on going. So his thing works and he will likely continue and even step it up to be even more on you cause he knows, that eventually, it works.

If he don't listen to you, maybe you are right to avoid him. He should respect you.

That said its hard to respect if you do not really understand.

Either drop him or have a long, honest open talk about these things and make him understand, what you feel and what you need and how you work. Don't rush this talk, take time only to talk about this over a coffee or smth. See if he changes toward you, if not and you don't feel alright with how he is, drop him.
 
R

rigglandhudd

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 21, 2019
Messages
83
Location
Virginia
If he won't take no for no leave him at a running pace
 
B

Bb2019

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Ireland
Hey guys , thank for the replies . The problem is I'm afraid to really open up to him about these things and I don't know how to approach the subject . How would I bring it up and what would I even say ? I tend not to really talk to people about my anxiety and depression because I end up getting really emotional , I wouldn't want to cry in front of him so that's another thing that would worry me .
 
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