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So worried



New member
Jun 9, 2008
Firstly, if this is in the wrong forum/section I trust that some of the mods will move it, I just have to get it out there in the open.

I'm worried about my wife, soon to be x-wife. Over the last 6 months to a year her behaviour has been almost unbearable, running out at weekends with ppl much younger than her, drinking into the early hours, coming hime barely able to string 2 words together at all hours in the morning.

On top of this she has been caught out telling lies so many times about her antics that I'v lost count. Even when confronted with the truth and caught red handed its always someone elses fault, or she basically continues with excuses rather than come clean and accept that she's been caught telling porkies again!!

At home she has no interest in anything really, lies in bed far too much then gets up and within a half hour is ready to go back to bed!

She has turned into a person that I don't even no. We'v been married for 7 years, together for 16, and have 2 kids aged 3 and 6.

Her most recent clanger is that she's in love with another man and is leaving me!! Under normal circumstances I would accept this and move on but truth be told I just think that she needs psychiatric help. She actaully expected me to be happy for her and almost gloated over her new 'thing'. No consideration at all for how I might feel about all of this.

She has been on Cipramil initially for panic attacks but that was approx 10 years ago. I have asked her over the years to see her GP and that she shouldn't be on those tablets that long without review or assessment but to no avail. At this stage even if she did see the GP I fear that she wouldn't tell the truth!!

I'm at my witsend with her irrational behavior. Its almost as if she has totally lost touch with reality and lives almost in a fantasy world. She's like an empty shell, concerned only with appearance and how ppl perceive her, i.e. she'l say anything to seem 'cool' or to be as she thinks ppl want her to be. She has become so shallow that its off the radar!

Perverse as it sounds I have to care about her for my kids and despite her now wanting to move on I'm not ready to give up on her just yet purely because I dont think she is in her 'proper' state of mind.

Can anyone help or advise here???
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There isn't necessarily a psychiatric cause or a mental health problem to your wife's behaviour. Just because it's out of character of the person you know doesn't mean that it's illness driven.

People go through changes in their lives and not all of them for the better. One thing is for sure she won't stay with you if she doesn't want to. Protect your kids and be a good father to them and be prepared to accept that you may have to let go. You can go to Relate as just one person in a relationship and that may be a good place for you to start.
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