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So...where do I go now?

S

sadnblue

Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
10
Today has to be one of theworst days of my life :(

I had an appointment with my CPN about 2 weeks ago. I was sick so cancelled it. I called the next day to rearrange it and got told by the receptionist she was busy and to call back the next day....next day was same thing but this time she wasnt in the office...called next day..same crap....for 2 weeks. Today i finally got through and wished I hadnt :(

She said to me I had missed an appointment and she felt like i was 'messing her around' and that she didnt think i should see her again...I told her i cancelled that appointment and have been trying to get through to her to make another for 2 whole weeks...it wasnt like i didnt show up...i called to let them know i couldnt come. she basically gave me a spanking over the phone :confused:

she also said she wrote a letter AND left numerous voicemails....i have had NO mail (although there has been a post strike here the last month so mail can be delayed) and the voicemail thing is bollocks...i told her so...i havent had a single voicemail. She told me the pdoctor was in the room with her when she left the voicemail...i asked her if she had the correct number..she was certain she had (although refused to tell me the number she called)....i told her...well infact i begged her i needed an appointment if not with her then another cpn as this whole suicidal crap is starting to flare up again. she said there was 'nothing more she could do'. so i ended up telling her to stick it and hung the phone up.

I told them...warned them after the last suicide attempt....that im hanging on by a string just waiting for someone or something to cut it...ive said that all along as its the only way i can explain to people what my life feels in a way someone who has no idea can try and understand a little.

I dont know what to do any more :( im physically scared of myself.
 
iffybob

iffybob

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
Options

Go see your GP as soon as possible, explain things to him.

If you get bad, either call the "crisis team", or present at AnE.

It not worth killing yourself over a crappy CPN.

Hope this helps.
 
M

mad as a hatter

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
i think u should go 2 her boss and complain about her and say u have been tryin 2 get through 2 get another app for the last 2 weeks it,s not right they treat like that i,d also go bk c ur gp tell them ur feelin suicidal and u feel u need 2 c some 1 don,t leave it how it is
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Hi, have you got a crisis number you can call? If not, perhaps you should speak to your GP. That was a terrible way to treat someone who had simply cancelled an appointment due to illness. They have a duty to make sure you are safe and if you mentioned suicide to them there's no way they should be saying 'there's nothing else I can do.'

I really feel for you, if things get desperate then we're here to listen or you could call the Samaritans.
 
S

sadnblue

Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
10
Thanks everyone.

I was hoping by posting this topic I would start feeling a bit bettter, or at least not as suicidal. Its not made any difference :( I'm still feeling just as bad.

I'm considering calling the crisis team, I doubt I could last until the morning when i can call my gp and make an appointment. I havent called them before. What will they do? What should I say?
 
iffybob

iffybob

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Messages
4,858
Location
England
Just mine

They will talk to you on the phone.

If they feel it is required they will come to see you, for an assessment,

From there , it depends on how the assesment goes
( 2 people will turn up for there own safety, not for any other reson, it is not a reflection on you , that is just the system )

I have only called them once, I "was" in a real bad way, and they placed me in "crisis care", not hospital, but that is a choice, this for me was the right choice.

"Crisis care" is a place of safety but not a hospital, you will be monitored by staff, the one I had was good.

This was my experience, other people have there own.
 
S

sadnblue

Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
10
I'm scared to go into a hospital :( I have a social phobia. I never leave my house unless i really really really have to. Not only that but I have kids, its bad enough feeling suicidal with them here but at least I have them as a sort of 'security blanket' that puts a hold on any suicide attempts (all previous attempts have been when my kids werent around).

I just need someone to talk to :( maybe go back on meds. This is all my fault for not attending one stupid appointment. I should have forced myself to drive there sick.

I just want to be better and these stupid thoughts/plans of suicide to stop :(
 
iffybob

iffybob

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
The chances of you having to go to hospital are small.

They will prob just talk to you.

If you do not want to talk to them there are independent help lines, Samartans, Rethink, and others, google them, Rethink willtalk to you for 10min or so and it is a freephone 0800 num in my area, these people are just advisors, and are not connected to the health services.

I just need someone to talk to maybe go back on meds. This is all my fault for not attending one stupid appointment. I should have forced myself to drive there sick.
you made a call based on your own judgment, and if you thought you were too sick to get there, then you did not risk having an acident in trying. This is sensable....
 
S

sadnblue

Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
10
Just wanted to give an update.

I got in touch with the samaritians last night :confused: first time for everything i guess. was nice to just offload stuff to someone. Dont feel as suicidal today. Still feel very, very low though :(

As for the cpn...well im not going to beg again for help. its bad enough shes getting paid to pretend to actually care let alone having to beg her to help me. I guess i'll just see how it goes...
 
Enpi

Enpi

Well-known member
Joined
May 16, 2009
Messages
83
Location
I.R.Iran
Hi
I'm glad that you're feeling less suicidal :)
 
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