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SO upset ... can't stop crying. :*( (possible triggers? Just in-case)

D

droolingandsmiling

New member
Joined
Nov 8, 2011
Messages
4
Location
South
Hi. I am pretty much brand new to this forum and have already had the pleasure of reading much about the beautiful people here. I'm hoping that I can get some opinions about what I'm dealing with / my PDoc and maybe learn what to do.

I am currently taking Wellbutrin XL 150mg 1/day in am; Prozac 40mg 1/day in am; Seroquel XR 300mg 1/day in PM.

In the past month and a half, we have switched meds like 7 times, due to my PDoc "TELLING" me to, from either serious side effects or just because he decided to "switch them up" as he says. However, in calling him again today - I got "scolded" for the second time over the phone by him. I have been trying to tell him how "sedated" I've been feeling with all of these changes / meds. I have nothing but a lethargic, depressed, overwhelming feeling all day and honestly cannot take care of myself let alone my two small children under 4, a house, my other "motherly / wifely" duties.

I called him this past Friday about this, his office closed at 12noon that day and it was getting to be 4:30pm, so I called his "on-call" service and requested that he call me, because I did not want to go through the weekend like this. When he called, I only got to say, "Hi, how are ...." and he cut into me like a dagger. I was in TEARS and could not even talk to him through the lump in my throat of fear and feeling bad that I must have interrupted him in the middle of something, wishing he had just told me or waited to call me instead. I made sure I told the answering service that it was NOT an emergency, that I just needed to leave a message because he hadn't called me yet and it was now 4:30pm, thinking maybe he hadn't gotten the message.

He immediately said, "You have to be more patient, I was in the middle of something and you will just have to 'deal' with this issue that you are tired, you have to give these medicines some time to work!! There is nothing I can do for you for this problem!!" (yelling into the phone.)

I was crying, I said, "Do you want to call me back? I'm sorry I bothered you, I told them that it was NOT an emergency and that you could call me whenever you could, that i just wanted to make sure you got the message? I'm so sorry - I just cannot keep doing this, I don't even have energy to get myself showered let alone anything else, this is making my depression so much worse, i feel horrible about who I AM like this? I have to be able to function during the day, i have children, responsibilities, I'm not trying to 'change' my meds, i just need to know what to do about the tiredness, because aside from my throat closing up on the Cymbalta we tried, this is the worst symptom I have?"

He KEPT UP his anger / frustration and yelling, knowing full well I was bawling into the phone.

Honestly? To do that to a person who already feels helpless, like a jerk, insufficient, terrible mother and wife and house-keeper and everything else, that was just a slam i didn't need. Making me feel as if I was asking for some ILLEGAL DRUG or something? I hung up, dealt with it because I was afraid now to call him, almost ever again.

I dealt with this until this morning. I called again and left him a message, wondering why with all of this, I was feeling worse than better, more than a month down the road. I also need to figure out what to do about this lethargy, or I myself, will stop all meds, just to get my energy back because without that, i can't even think.

He called back minutes ago, very stern-sounding off the bat. I asked him about Nuvigil or Provigil? I didn't know anything except that they helped sleep problems. Again, he yelled at me. Saying that "we've switched TOO MANY DRUGS to see what is working and what is not here, this can't continue. You have to give these a chance!!!!!!!"

I said, "I am the one taking these meds, I know full well what I'm taking and I'm staying on them, I have no problem aside from this lethargy, I would rather go OFF them, than to continue this way, I don't know what to do, Christmas is around the corner, my children NEED their mother, I need to shower daily, clean, feed the children, care for them and get them OUT of this house, even if for a half hour without the fear of falling asleep or walking around like a zombie - I don't understand why I'm getting 'yelled at' but it's making me feel very badly and I don't know if you realize this?"

He was quiet for several minutes, said, "FINE!!!!!! I'M PUTTING YOU ON RITALIN, DON'T ASK FOR ANOTHER THING, ANOTHER CHANGE, ANOTHER THING AND I'LL SEE YOU ON THE 20TH!!!!! COME GET THIS WRITTEN SCRIPT BECAUSE I CAN'T CALL IT IN!!!!!" and he hung up on me.

OMG?

I called my husband crying. Said I don't even know what to do. I don't feel good, I feel like a jerk. The only reason we've had to stop ANY meds is because I had a terrible reaction, or HE didn't feel I should be on them and he would stop or switch them? HE did that, NOT ME?? I only did what he said to do, followed every direction, stopped what he said to stop, change what he wanted to change, up this, down on this - HE did this all?? Why is he upset with ME? What did I DO?

and ... I have to go in to see him on the 20th. I'm so terrified, I don't want to see him - but I can't find another PDoc right now that will take our insurance, for one, and second - there's no way I'd get an appointment for months down the line .... so what do I do? Is this the way they are? I've stayed away from them because I KNEW I would be a Guinea Pig to these medications and did NOT want to go through that. Now, I finally sucked it up and wanted to change my life for the better, and KNEW I had to see someone - did it, and now this?

I don't know what to do, I don't know anything right now. I'm so down about this and he is making me feel like I'VE done something wrong, and I obviously can't switch my OWN meds, change them, up them, down them, break them in half, go off one and on another - that's HIS job? I don't have a CLUE about them, HE does ... so, any opinions on this?

Maybe ... this is all just a waste of my time if my own PDoc is going to make me even MORE depressed than I am.

Thank you for reading and any comments you might have.

das:unsure::unsure::cry::cry:






 
kinetickatie

kinetickatie

New member
Joined
Dec 14, 2011
Messages
4
Location
Indianapolis, IN, USA
OMG what a JERK! I don't know if where you're at doctors have to take the hippocratic oath, but regardless a doctor's number one priority is to DO NO HARM. Psychologically I feel like he's bullying you. I would have your husband talk to this asshole...he's not the one who is mentally unstable from depression and he's less likely to get upset enough to back down. Your PDoc might also take his opinion more seriously since his mind isn't affected by depression like yours. When your PDoc mentions all the changes that have been made, your husband could point out HE'S the one implementing all the changes, NOT YOU. Yes, antidepressants take weeks to take full effect, but if the side effects are too bad what's the point? You still feel like crap! Is there an agency or organization that you can report his verbal abuse to? It might not be illegal or malpractice, but if whoever issued him the license to practice knows about his behavior, they won't be happy! When you're down it's hard to fight for yourself, it's too easy to just back down and give up. That's why I suggest getting someone else, like your husband or a family member, to advocate for you. Maybe your doc will take THEM seriously.
 
pepecat

pepecat

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Messages
13,944
Location
middle earth
I agree - the pdoc sounds like a right prick. Shouting at patients down the phone? How is that good practice?
I'd also like to know how he thinks changing meds 7 times in 6 weeks is 'giving it a chance to work?' which he is banging on about at the moment.
If you can't change doctor, there must be some sort of complaint mechanism, surely?
 
L

life1986

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2011
Messages
90
Location
derby
this is bad, just report him or get ur husband to. i get the change of meds and how you feel i was given bout 5 different ones in 9 weeks and felt like a ginuepig still do but i also persisted with them coz they are ment to help, still dont quiet believe that myself though yet. i get the lathargic bit too.

all i can say is keep trying, i know it is hard though, use ur husband for support and keep talking to him, if you stop ur meds all of a sudden ther will be withdrawalls, i felt like i was dyeing wen i did this so i dont advise it hun. report ur pdoc go in with ur husband so he can see it for himself too how he is mentally hurting u more than helping u. get on a list for another if you can in the mean time and stay with this one if u can. there is nothing worse than being this way.
:grouphug:
 
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