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So, so lonely...

R

Roadfool

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Joined
Oct 14, 2013
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174
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Staffordshire
Greetings everyone!

So anyway, back in my twenties I was one of those lads who everybody knew and everybody liked... I couldn't go anywhere without bumping into mates, but back then I didn't realise how lucky I was to have so many good friends. I never seemed to be without a nice girl by my side and in general, life was peachy.

Now fast forward a few years and I'm now 34, and all my friends have either moved on, got married, had kids or generally disappeared. I've been single for 3 years and any attempt at finding myself a nice girl to settle down with has been hopeless.

I try to be as upbeat and happy as I can be, but just lately I've been reflecting on my hopeless life and getting a little bit down. Worst of all, I have nobody to talk to... Nobody asks me if I've had a good day, and nobody is ever pleased to see me.

I'm just bored, bored and lonely! :sorry:
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
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Hi. Sorry to hear you're feeling lonely and fed up. It's not easy being upbeat when your heart's not in it.

Do you go out much, or spend much time around others?
 
R

Roadfool

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Joined
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Messages
174
Location
Staffordshire
Thanks, PC :)

In the summer I'm always out and about, even though I'm usually on my own. I'm really into cars and BMX biking, and I spend my summer at skateparks and racetracks.

This time of year makes me lonelier than normal due to not being able to keep myself occupied so easily. I've always wanted a long-term partner too, but it seems less and less likely the older I get :cry:
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
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1,079
It's good that you've got interests and get out and about. At least you don't isolate yourself.

This time of year is crushing for lots of people. It can make you feel lonelier than ever, I think. Have you thought about taking up other interests/hobbies? Are there any groups or clubs near you? It's quite a good way of meeting new people.

Please don't give up hope of finding a long-term partner. I'm sure you will find someone so don't give up.
 
R

Roadfool

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Joined
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Messages
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Staffordshire
I've thought about it but I'm not sure what I want to do as cars and BMX are my two main passions, but they can only really be enjoyed in the summer.

I've been online dating for 3 years now, and although I've met plenty of girls I think it's had a negative effect on me as I've had some pretty diabolical dates!
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
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I know what you mean, it's difficult trying to come up with something you might want to do if there's no real passion or desire behind it. What about evening classes at a local college? Looking through a prospectus might bring up some ideas. Or is not really your thing?

It's a shame that cars and BMX are primarily summer interests and also still predominantly male sports. Or am I just being a bit behind with the times now?

Sorry you've had some bad experiences with online dating. Are you still on the dating sites now? Is that with just one site or have you tried others? It's a shame that you feel they've had a negative effect as they are so popular these days and, I think, a really good way of meeting people.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Mordor
Online dating is a farce IMO.

It is expensive, and often the people are just plain rude. It is not a good place if you have MH issues - it is like a supermarket - all the odd shapen apples are rejected.

I do not really have solutions, but suggest forgetting about it and focusing on things which are important to you.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Online dating is a farce IMO.

It is expensive, and often the people are just plain rude. It is not a good place if you have MH issues - it is like a supermarket - all the odd shapen apples are rejected.
Sorry you've had bad experiences with it too. I know where you're coming from but I think that, as with many things, it can work for some and not for others. I've not tried it personally, though I have been tempted to, but I know of several who have found it successful - two family weddings this year were the result of online dating, which says something.

This said, I think you're probably right regarding those of us with mental health issues. It can bring too many problems in to the equation before even getting started. It also makes meeting people in general more difficult at times. Hey ho.
 
W

WilderElle

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Nov 22, 2013
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87
Location
Devon, UK
Loneliness is a killer.

Terribly painful...

:eek:
 
C

clyde

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
43
Sorry to hear about that, don't be so upset for yourself, try to improve it in the way that you're comfortable and confident with it
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Messages
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Location
Mordor
Sorry you've had bad experiences with it too. I know where you're coming from but I think that, as with many things, it can work for some and not for others. I've not tried it personally, though I have been tempted to, but I know of several who have found it successful - two family weddings this year were the result of online dating, which says something.

This said, I think you're probably right regarding those of us with mental health issues. It can bring too many problems in to the equation before even getting started. It also makes meeting people in general more difficult at times. Hey ho.
It is kinda funny. There is always a statistic to make the long term single feel even more insecure :D
 
R

Roadfool

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Joined
Oct 14, 2013
Messages
174
Location
Staffordshire
Thanks for the replies, I'm very grateful :)

As far as online dating is concerned I think it depends who you meet... I've met some nice girls but we've just not clicked, but for every nice girl I've met I've met another 5 'not-so-nice' ones. Me and my friend say that girls are always on the lookout for the BBD... Bigger, Better Deal!

I'm thinking of trying to learn an instrument and maybe doing something to get back in shape (but not a gym). Has anyone tried dance classes or crossfit?
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I admire your attitude but can't help feeling that some of them enjoy the negative side too much. Its funny.
 
R

Roadfool

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Messages
174
Location
Staffordshire
I've met about 30ish girls so far, and the only thing they all had in common is their standards outweighed their status!
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,865
Location
Mordor
I've met about 30ish girls so far, and the only thing they all had in common is their standards outweighed their status!
Haha, good that you are keeping your sense of humor.
 
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