so so lonely. Need friends.

M

MrNobody

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
21
Hello I know I'm just another member of this forum but please read this. :( My therapist says I need to open up to someone but I have nobody.

I am 25 and have suffered from depression and other mental illnesses for over two years now. I'm on medication and having therapy. I am in a dead end job earning minimum wage and currently only working weekends as I depend on the now non-existent over time.

My fiancé has recently moved out for reasons I don't fully understand but I suspect it is because I am no longer the person I was before I got ill. My personality, views, and behaviour has changed dramatically and I hardly recognise the person I was before I became ill.

I am now living alone. I have no friends (literally none), I recieve no text messages, no invites, no phone calls. Although my fiancé and I are still together she rarely communicates with me. I suspect she wants to end the relationship but doesn't have the guts to do it.

I spend all my time alone in my flat with the door locked and curtains closed. I play my Xbox most of the day and although I have people on my friends list I play alone. I like to try forget about everything through playing games.

I try to open up to my parents or my fiancé but neither seem that interested. I'm SO desperately lonely.

I am unable to afford my rent and bills and expect to be homeless any day now. It feels as if my life is falling apart and nobody seems to give a toss!

For reasons I don't want to get into on a public forum I don't usually go online but this is how desperate I have become.

I know to you I am just another random username on a website but this is my life. It's falling to bits.

This forum feels to busy and crowded. It kind of scares me so I'd rather talk to someone in a PM if anyone has cared to read this far.

I'm so lonely and so low.
 
B

bonobo

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Jan 9, 2015
Messages
131
Sorry you're having such a shit time at the moment.

Sounds like we're in a similar situation xx
 
life2live

life2live

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Hey I a sorry your having such a hard time. Sent you a friendship request so you know your not alone. I have had five-six years of it so I know how it feels.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
Messages
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Hi MrNobody and welcome to the forum.

It can seem busy and crowded here at times but there are many caring people around and lots of support available.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I too used to love escapeing into computer games but even that seems a chore now.
I think firstly you need to speak with your fiance and find out where you stand so you can move forward.
Are friends something you want? Personally i am happy without them.
 
FuzzyPeach

FuzzyPeach

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Jan 3, 2015
Messages
92
You may be behind a screen but you are still a person that we can 'see'.

You are clearly depressed.

You should go to citizens advice bureau for advice regarding your financial situation. You could claim ESA. You will need sick notes from your GP while it is being processed.

This will give you time to get yourself well and will prevent you from becoming homeless as you could claim housing benefit.

If you don't want that you can see what the citizens advice bureau suggest.

Depression makes you want to draw those curtains and not go out.

Maybe you need some time alone to rest and think and get back on your feet but it is important to stay sociable some of the time. It is not healthy for us to be so solitary and isolated.

It is also important to get fresh air and exercise. Just a little walk will be enough for now. Every day if you can.

Keep communicating on here. Many of us have been where you are.
 
peardrop

peardrop

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Joined
Nov 13, 2012
Messages
62
Hi, I just thought I'd add my threepence worth, just to show you're not alone. I'm in a relationship and have been for 18 years, we're even supposed to be getting married soon! But I feel Oh so lonely! Can you believe that. I don't even like doing things that I used to like doing because in this frame of mind it makes those 'nice' events depressing in the future because they obviously remind you of these bad times. I don't know the answer I'm afraid but I hope you find something positive, however small, now and in the future. My thoughts are with you anyway.
 
V

Viktoria

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Jul 11, 2014
Messages
2,276
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. It must be really tough. I can relate, my ex has just split up with me after 5,5 years of being together because I've changed and I'm not the Viktoria he once started going out with. I'm getting back on my feet and doing reasonably well but still I've lost him and I feel so lonely. I have very few friends and most of them were mutual friends and more his than mine.
If you want to PM me feel free, I'll always listen and hope I can help. Sending you hugs xxx
 
C

cherbear

Guest
Hugs x Really sorry to hear you are going through so much right now x It has already been mentioned but CAB are definetly worth contacting . They have helped me out alot with finances . I'm presently on ESA but the help given longer term can depend on circumstances so if you go that route they will discuss it with you . You phone to make initial claim and answer a very long list of questions and either a medical questionnaire will be sent out or the job centre will give you a copy .Depending once again on your situation you may get help with paying your rent too . You will then get an appointment at the job centre where they will discuss it all with you . Will PM you hunny . Love and hugs xxx
 
Sen

Sen

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Jigoku
You sound a lot like me.I have no friends,I play games a lot of my time (usually skyrim,dead island, or tales of vesperia) and have a lot of the same worries.I wish that I could say something that would make things a little better but all I can say it that you're not alone.
 
E

Elle-X

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Dec 21, 2014
Messages
184
Location
Lincolnshire
Hi MrNobody, so sorry that you're having to go through all of this. I agree that it might be good to know exactly where you stand with your fiance but it's such a shame that you haven't been able to communicate how you truly feel to her or your parents. Have you tried writing them a letter? You may find it easier to write what you feel. Have you had much luck looking for another job?
 
C

cherbear

Guest
Hi hunny tried to PM you but a message said your PMs had been disabled ?! Hope you are ok hunny ? xxxxx
 
M

MrNobody

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
21
I have enabled PMs now. Didn't realise I had turned them off, sorry. I've been with my fiancé for 4 years and I always just assumed she was my best friend, it hurts knowing she doesn't want to live with me anymore and hurts even more that she just doesn't seem interested. I've tried asking her if she's still happy with me etc and she replied with we're not having this conversation AGAIN.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Has she said anything previously or are her actions out of the blue?
 
U

Umbria

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Joined
Apr 23, 2013
Messages
50
Are you on any meds?

Your fiance..you need to have THE conversation, as this is hanging over you, exacerbating your angst and depression, it's time to be brave and find out where you stand, because as it is, she's eroding your self esteem mate, trust me I've been there.
 
C

cherbear

Guest
Hi hunny your PM is working now you will find it if you go to Notifications which will be highlighted in red . Press on it to access the message .
 
B

braveone

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2015
Messages
14
Hi, just registered so I could reply. I hope that I dont come across as crass when I say I understand what youre going through. I am in a similar situation. Its late where I am and ive drunk too much to post a long reply. Thats my version of xbox, my coping mechanism, and not an original or wise one.
It doesn't necessarily help I know but there are thousands of us, probably more who feel the same.
It can pass, it can change. At the moment I don't see the possibility myself in my situation, but I know in the past ive felt like this and it has changed for me big time. At 25 I nearly ended it. I didnt, im 41 now, yes things are shit for me right now, but since 25 ive got married and helped bring up a little girl. At 25 I would have bet a million pounds that I would be pope more likely than that happening !
I will post again and I hope one day soon things will seem, if not good, at least better for you
 
M

MrNobody

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
21
Thanks, I appreciate you leaving the comment. I'd probably drink too if I could afford it. Since its 5am and I haven't slept yet like most nights this week, it would seem I can add insomnia to my list of problems too. i have a psychiatric review on Friday so hopefully my medication will be adjusted and I might see some improvements although Im not holding out much hope.
 
M

MrNobody

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
21
Just thought I'd update this.

I've had a psychiatric appointment today. He wanted to keep me in hospital but I refused as I need to work over the weekend. I didn't feel taking time off work and adding more financial difficulties to my life was the best option for me.

He's increased my antiphycotics by over 3 times so hopefully they'll take effect quickly and I'll start feeling some improvement.
 
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