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so sick of it

M

messed-up

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
83
Location
northern ireland
I am sick and tired of feeling like this, I'm getting so angry I can feel myself boiling an hour ago I was so down, why can't it just be 1 emotion then I would know were I was. This morning I was laughing.
I'm debating wether to go see doc or not cos I don't know how I feel, oh doesn't understand he thinks going out once a month to a club is going to help, cos then I'm getting out an socialising, why won't he even try and understand I'm not like him, sometimes I just want him to go maybe then I might be normal.

I'm just so angry I need to shout and scream or something, I feel myself shaking and don't know were this is going to go.

I'm scared incase this is it and the doc says I'm just a moody cow or keeps telling me it's depression...again. Is this what depression is multiple moods I thought it was just sadness IDK, my head is up my arse.

rant over sorry :redface:
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Hey don't apologise for ranting, it's fine! I know how you feel, I can be jogging along just nicely then I'll just start crying. It's a real pain and no-one understands. The more anyone asks "what's wrong?" the worse it gets. Don't be too hard on your OH, I don't think anyone can understand unless they've been there. I reckon your GP might be able to help you out. Are you on any meds at the moment?
 
M

messed-up

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
83
Location
northern ireland
Hi TB.60mg fluoxetine, been on it for about 2 years she upped the dose a couple of times but don't think it's doing much use, prob need meds changed.
I'm starting to wonder if it is depression or if it's something else, or I'm just reading to much into it.
I'm making myself more confused, need to stop thinking :confused:
 
D

dreambuggieII

Guest
hey messed up

just wanted to ask you. When you "rapid cycle" in a day, how would you visually describe it? How does it make you feel now about looking back on yourself?

:)
 
M

messed-up

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
83
Location
northern ireland
hi dreambuggie, I've never thought about it before.
It feels like I'm going to lose complete control and I can't stop it, if I feel angry at a specific person (or something that person is doing) I think I can imagine myself stopping them, instance, when my oh is eating the noise is amplified and I feel like shoving the food down his throat or like glueing his mouth shut so he can't chew it, my fists clench and I feel myself starting to shake. I THINK.

Saying I think makes me sound like a dick I know.

When I look back there are so many emotions I feel like someone else has took over me for a while and that it didn't happen.

sorry I can't even explain it's like a dream or something.
 
thing fish

thing fish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 1, 2009
Messages
150
Location
ohio
i feel your pain....i can go from happy and jolly to super depressed in a matter of moments.
i get a fleeting thought in my head and it ruins me...

i hate it.
meds help but i am no means stable...
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Perhaps it's time to go back to the doc?
 
D

dreambuggieII

Guest
that was really well expressed messed up

i really felt something when i read that, and i know how it could feel. especially when you felt as if it couldn't be you.

i had a psych doc say to me - sometimes you have to join the tracks yourself.

it was a way of telling me my crazy, disturbing illusions - however farout and really painful to recall - was me- it was like someone telling you your tag partner is Hitler - of course you reject that. My next job was to just bring em together...errr like how??

I know at this stage thats not an immediate solution - but i've found sometimes living in this country makes you feel guilty about every "bad" thought like some kinda Catholic monk ;)

your words made me think of my dream, when i was driving a car and it got out of control. I feel for you having to live with such a strong emotion.

i don't claim to have found the holy grail in life, but I've really tried to feed my mind about "stuff". Exercising a cognition on something that works the mind in some holy crap hope that it will act as an harness - do you get my drift?

just to say - i go to the doctor and take a chill pill when i'm finding emotional life distressing.

stay safe
 
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