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So much pressure

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Starryeyes

New member
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
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3
I have an affective disorder and this has resulted in two bouts of long term sickness (6months) with 4months in between.

Work have been really supportive but it has come to the point they can no longer have my job empty. I was told that if occ health and my consultant couldn't give me a date in the near future for return to work I will be given notice. My consultant couldn't give me a date but occ health reluctantly gave me a date in three weeks time. I have been told if I cannot manage four days of four hours and then further increase of hours i will be handed notice. At my last meeting with hr and my manager they said hr would not need to be involved in any further meetings if I were to be returning to work however they have been invited to the next meeting.

I don't know if they are going to hand me my notice, or wait until I am forced back (not ready/well enough) and then wait for me to fail or assess whether I am competent to do my job.

I feel like this is almost a no win situation and am scared about the affect on my mh regardless of the outcome.

Losing my job will mean losing my home and moving hundreds of miles back in with my parents.

I don't know what to do and I'm just so stressed. It's making it more likely I will not be able to return to work. I have support from a consultant but no cpn. I am also doing group ACT therapy which will require time for work which they may not be willing to give me. I have just stated new Meds which cause insomnia and my gp says I will not be able to return if I'm not sleeping.

Any advice or thoughts would be gratefully received. Thanks for reading.
Starryeyes
 
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Saranoya

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2012
Messages
152
That does seem like an awful lot of pressure. I understand that it is very hard to shake something like that off.

But you're asking for advice, so here's my advice: try to forget about work. If they want to sack you, they will sack you. If they don't, they won't. Either way, worrying about it is of no use to you. On the contrary: the more you worry, the more likely it is that you won't be able to meet any of their "ultimatums", and the less likely it becomes that you will return to work "in time".

I find there is much wisdom in the AA "prayer", which I recite to myself often: give me the strength to accept what I cannot change. Give me the courage to change what I cannot accept. Give me the wisdom to tell the difference.

This seems to me to be a case of the former: you have to accept the fact that you may not be able to return to work in time to avoid being given your notice. There is nothing you can do about that. The way I see it, the sooner you accept that there is nothing you can do about this looming possibility of job loss, the likelier it becomes that you may still return to your job *before* they give it to someone else.

And if you can't, well ... then maybe that's exactly what needs to happen right now. Maybe losing this job will enable you to take a different, much better one. The point is: whatever happens, it needn't be a bad thing! So try not to worry about it.
 
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SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
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The West Country
It does seem like you're in a bit of a no-win situation.
I would say that you never know, you may find returning to work to be helpful, though it really does just depend on how stressful things are at work and whether or not you're feeling strong enough to cope.
Anyway, I came here mainly to say that there is always the option to claim benefits. I know there's a huge stigma attached to it, but you are entitled to them if you're not well enough to work. It may also mean you'd be eligible for housing benefits too, so that you could stay where you are if that's what you'd prefer.
 
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Starryeyes

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Mar 16, 2015
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3
My landlords do not accept housing benefit, nowhere here accepts dss so I can't move locally. I am entitled to benefits and will use them if necessary but I'd still have to move.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
My landlords do not accept housing benefit, nowhere here accepts dss so I can't move locally. I am entitled to benefits and will use them if necessary but I'd still have to move.
Ah that's a bit of a bugger for you.
Perhaps research places where you could possibly move, just in case.
I don't mean to sound defeatist - I think it would be better though to have some ideas so that you don't panic if it turns out you would need to move elsewhere.
 
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