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So lost and just about had enough of life

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saz343

Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
10
Im such a mess I dont know where to turn any more. I was diagnosed with a binge eating disorder. But there doesnt seem any help available in my area. Im paying to see a private therapist, shes lovely but im not getting anywhere.

I just cant stop eating. And i mean all day long and I even wake through the night to eat. Ive put on so much weight. I try to hold back my binges but it so very hard and phsicaly its painful.

My health is getting really bad. I suffer with m.e and some days can barely walk. I have sleep apnea too.

Im a single mum to two disabled children who desperatly need me to help care for there needs but all i do is eat. Which fills me with guilt for not stepping up and being the better mother I should be.

Sometimes i think that maybe im trying to finish the pain by over eating. I know i just cant end things because of my children but some times i really want to just make the pain stop.

I start diets and do well in my first week. Then i ruin all my hard work.

I just dont know how I will fix this or even if its possible.

Im here to make friends and hopefully get some advice and tips to try out.
xXx
 
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Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
Welcome to the forum, sorry your going through this. Have you been to your GP ??
I eat in the night, I have stopped buying too much junk food then I can't eat it.
My meds increased my appetite, I hope it hopes being on the forum.
Take care
 
S

saz343

Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
10
Thank you for your message. I have seen my gp and i feel like they look at me like a disgusting animal not a broken person. They tell me to join slimming world.... only wish i found it that easy.
The junk food in the house is for the kiddies as treats. Ive started only buying a few items and giving the rest to my mum to store till we need toping up. But i find trying to control my binges so very painful. Im lost, just dont know what to do. But i know im going to end up dead if i dont find so control and soon xxx
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Jun 13, 2015
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Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
There is professional help for eating disorders and it works. You need to find more specific help. Did you by any chance get put on a medication that could account for this much eating?? One time I was given zyprexa and I ate like a horse for several days. So I stopped that drug. Who can live like that?? You can't live like this. Keep looking for the Right Help.
 
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saz343

Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
10
Thank you Poopy Doll. My doctors seem bored of me as if im just not trying. They are sending me for barietric surgery. They dont seem to see its a mental health problem and this is what i need the help with. I am paying to see a therapist but nothing has changed and im not sure how long i'll be able to afford it.

I just dont know what to do anymore. I think i need to be seen by a eatting disorder clinic but have doenst seem to be anything of such in my area
xxx
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,160
Thank you for your message. I have seen my gp and i feel like they look at me like a disgusting animal not a broken person. They tell me to join slimming world.... only wish i found it that easy.
The junk food in the house is for the kiddies as treats. Ive started only buying a few items and giving the rest to my mum to store till we need toping up. But i find trying to control my binges so very painful. Im lost, just dont know what to do. But i know im going to end up dead if i dont find so control and soon xxx
hi hun

I understand your pain

I comfort eat (which is halfway to bingeing) and recently due to illness ive been unable to eat at all and the emotional hole that has left has been Significant.

Its also been Educational.

Most of my eating comes when I'm BORED. B>O>R>E>D.

it takes up a lot of time. For you especially with dependant little ones, youll be spending most of your day either planning, buying, preparing, feeding or cleaning up after food.

If you have little else in your life and no Self Care skills OF COURSE youre going to turn to food for comfort. At the end of the day, some food is like a drug in the impact it has on your mood. Chocolate is marked for me...the mood boost it gives is immediate

Anyway the Secret is Self Care.

Self care means, taking the time to eat every piece of wholegrain bread, 5 serves min of vegetables, lean protein, drinking 2l of water a day and walking somewhere.

even if this is all you promise to do, you will begin to reverse the Gaining.

Then you could find a walking group or somewhere supportive for weight loss. Once you start with some organized support (which is what a group is) you add in a new level of support, ideas, help, friends.

You may meet another woman who is in the EXACT same position as you and battle through it all together.

You likely need therapy imo food abuse is always linked to an abusive childhood.

In my case there was No Love but Plenty of Food. One became the other.

So if I get very upset I will actually look purposely for something I want to eat. I keep chocolate in the house nowdays because if I don't I will go mad wanting it. If its here I can ignore it. Back when my kids were at home id buy small serves to share, and no more than once a fortnight. I was lucky though my kids liked to snack on things like fruit and noodles and pretzels. Going to the shop for lollies was a special treat and id usually make them walk down and get it, old fashioned style.

I kept healthy snacks around mainly because I didn't want them to inherit my screwed up food relationship. Also healthy snacks didn't trigger me and still don't. Its really only chocolate that I overeat nowdays and I keep that in line by only having small amounts in the house

honestly if you do all the self cares youre supposed to do on a daily basis you barely have room for junk, or time.

everytime you want to put something in your mouth have a glass of water instead and wait 10 minutes. Chances are youre thirsty not hunry. Weve all blown our thirst centres out with all this eating, its a 20th century phenomenon.

we eat when we're thirsty. :(

you also know while youre obsessing about food youre not paying attention to Anything Else including your kids - so they suffer in a round about way. Would they rather go to the park with mum or watch mum trawl through the pantry?

I do know how haard it is...ive been able to conquer mine alone but I would never recommend it also it ws never Full Blown.

My SIL has it and she would eat herself half sick. It was horrible to know she was in so much pain. Sometimes I wonder if she just needed a good cuddle and someone loving (she was married to my brother what a pill).

its really really hard but you can win. I went to gym with a girl who weighed 170kg, she was single and would eat by the hour - she explained to me she would calculate how many boring hours she had then buy the appropriate food to fill it up.

anyway she lost literally 50% of her body weight by replacing her Eating Calculations with Exercise Calculations, calories burnt calculations. I'm fairly sure she weighed herself every day too.

If you have a food obsession you already have the Obsessive Part which is what you need to change your life.

Its a matter of swapping obsessions. Instead of food, obsess over footsteps, how many veges you can cram into a soup, how many games of kick you need to work off a packet of chocolate biscuits.

It worked for my friend. Change your obsession - or at least, begin work on changing it.

From Day One you regain a sense of control you thought youd eaten away. Day One.


Some issues take years of work to see results. Overeating is not one of them.

You also need to Quit dieting, yesterday. You need to concentrate on >>>>EATING FOR HEALTH AND ENERGY. <<<<

dieting implies restriction and punishment, where as you actually probably need to ADD food as youre not getting enough good quality calories. By adding food I mean, lean protein 3 x a day, wholegrains, leafy and coloured veg, superfoods like salmon and avocado.

Binge eating on rubbish puts you into a blood sugar roundabout - always either too high or too low = a recipe for diabetes. Adding healthy foods means the cravings decrease, your energy increases, and you wont get those horrible dips that send you straight to the fridge at 3pm or midnight.

anyway I hope soemthin in the above helps you at some level.

best

BDU
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,892
Location
England
Thank you for your message. I have seen my gp and i feel like they look at me like a disgusting animal not a broken person. They tell me to join slimming world.... only wish i found it that easy.
The junk food in the house is for the kiddies as treats. Ive started only buying a few items and giving the rest to my mum to store till we need toping up. But i find trying to control my binges so very painful. Im lost, just dont know what to do. But i know im going to end up dead if i dont find so control and soon xxx
Hi,
I'm really sorry your going through this, it is hard losing weight. It must be hard having 2 disabled children. Do you have any support? You will find control. I'm trying to stop myself eating so much. I hope it helps being on the forum. Try reducing your portion sizes.
Take care
 
S

Stray

Guest
I feel for you. I have BED too. I don't say much about it, there is a lot of ignorance about bingeing, people don't get it. I've been seeking help for it for 20ish years. If there is help out there it's very difficult to find in my experience. Bariatric surgery is dangerous with active EDs, I hope you can find some understanding xx
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Jun 13, 2015
Messages
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Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
I don't understand. Here where I live there are eating disorder clinics. It would be worth traveling to one far away to do something that will change your life. God, Stray, 20 years without reasonable help ?? That's not right.
 
S

Stray

Guest
I don't understand. Here where I live there are eating disorder clinics. It would be worth traveling to one far away to do something that will change your life. God, Stray, 20 years without reasonable help ?? That's not right.
Yes. There are ED services, where I am they are stretched and will not see anyone over a certain BMI. I am too big for help, it is a slow death. A very few places do offer some help for BED but is hard to get out of area funding. I once got funding agreed for assessment at opposite end of country, then eligibility criteria changed and assessment refused. I couldn't afford to get to the place anyway.
No, it's not right, it's how things are.
Sorry Saz, I don't mean to go on, just responding to previous post x
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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basketville
with chronic fatigue which is what m.e is it would be helpful to start changing your diet as that will increase your energy levels.

there are things out there for healthy eating but you will need to aim at being more specif for instance i had candida and i reckon i have it back at the mo and so i am going to go through the candida recipe book and start doing some changes. as depression and candida are so not good.

i have been trying to find a menu plan for candida so i dont have to think about it too much! as yet i havent found one!

one thing i would suggest you do is if you can is to stop buying and eating ready meals and all things out of tins and packets and jars as they really are full of shite.

having m.e means that you will have some food intolerance's and that is why it is good to do the food diet. yes it is hard to do but then having m.e is hard to live with physically, mentally and emotionally
 
D

doc72

Active member
Joined
Jun 10, 2016
Messages
42
Im such a mess I dont know where to turn any more. I was diagnosed with a binge eating disorder. But there doesnt seem any help available in my area. Im paying to see a private therapist, shes lovely but im not getting anywhere.

I just cant stop eating. And i mean all day long and I even wake through the night to eat. Ive put on so much weight. I try to hold back my binges but it so very hard and phsicaly its painful.

My health is getting really bad. I suffer with m.e and some days can barely walk. I have sleep apnea too.

Im a single mum to two disabled children who desperatly need me to help care for there needs but all i do is eat. Which fills me with guilt for not stepping up and being the better mother I should be.

Sometimes i think that maybe im trying to finish the pain by over eating. I know i just cant end things because of my children but some times i really want to just make the pain stop.

I start diets and do well in my first week. Then i ruin all my hard work.

I just dont know how I will fix this or even if its possible.

Im here to make friends and hopefully get some advice and tips to try out.
xXx
I think saz343 is a victim of a form of climate change. It would be helpful to know where in the world she lives because this makes a lot of difference. I suspect a hypoxic condition.
 
S

saz343

Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
10
Thank you all for your comments. I live in lincolnshire uk. xx
 
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