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So I've always felt ugly

American Boy

American Boy

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Mar 30, 2016
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Back in the states I had no problems getting women and I spoke to an American woman today on the cam thing which is PG, not one of those dirty sites. She told me that British guys look super fine and that in America there not so much about looks or "specific looks" and that they go for the best thing like personalty and the goods parts in terms of some looks.

Anyway another woman who I spoke to on there who is "British" said I can't be real because in my profile picture I look like a super model... like I felt like am I on cloud nine? then she kicks me out of her chat.

Its just a normal photo of me... I go from looking totally understandable from looking like a super model???

This is now going to f**k with my mind.

I feel there is some reality in this because I've never truly understood how I look to women and I've felt like total shit when I've been rejected and never knowing why.

This is really a big deal for me because all's I've ever wanted is a nice woman in my life and things are very strange right now and I just don't understand any of it.

I spend time trying to look good for women but it don't go well and now a women says I look like a super model?
 
PerpetuallyStuck

PerpetuallyStuck

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People in general can mess others around. I've had varying feedback from people. I wouldn't take these things too seriously. What one person likes, another may really dislike. Some people can troll others online, it can happen.

You are doing well, trying a lot and putting in the effort. Maybe that will help you achieve your goal. It is really frustrating when things don't go well or as planned. Basically, you've got my support. You have the right to feel frustrated, but I don't think a random person online that you've just met should be read in to too much.
 
American Boy

American Boy

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People in general can mess others around. I've had varying feedback from people. I wouldn't take these things too seriously. What one person likes, another may really dislike. Some people can troll others online, it can happen.

You are doing well, trying a lot and putting in the effort. Maybe that will help you achieve your goal. It is really frustrating when things don't go well or as planned. Basically, you've got my support. You have the right to feel frustrated, but I don't think a random person online that you've just met should be read in to too much.
The thing that got me the most is that she said I look like a super model and maybe I look different in reality but then again in the past I've got women, but other times or most of the time women make me feel like shit by rejecting me and I just don't know. Its like I get those odd experiences where I'm desirable and I really don't understand it. I'm thinking that maybe there is something not naturally right like I have a demon in me preventing me from getting women and recently I've been getting in touch with nature pretty heavily and feeling the light and goodness.
 
American Boy

American Boy

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I know how mental health can make peoples lives shit and sometimes I think with comments like that can seem like I've just been paranoid and make things get the better of me.
 
PerpetuallyStuck

PerpetuallyStuck

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in the past I've got women, but other times or most of the time women make me feel like shit by rejecting me and I just don't know. Its like I get those odd experiences where I'm desirable and I really don't understand it. I'm thinking that maybe there is something not naturally right like I have a demon in me preventing me from getting women
I know exactly how you feel. I experience the same thing. Once in a blue moon, it's like i'm "in the zone" and there are women who are looking at me like i'm in one of those lynx adverts. Yet most of the time I get rejected or ignored. There definitely feels like there is some sort of magic barrier that is keeping them at bay. I don't get enough frequent attention to remember the good feeling, so if I do get positive attention it makes me uncomfortable because I'm not used to it. I wish I could just get it all over and done with. Forever stuck!
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Play to your strengths. Forget the facial looks. Improve your appearance by your style.
 
D

Dice

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Jan 20, 2019
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UK
You said you try to look good for women, how so? Is this by keeping fit, going to the gym, the clothes you wear...moisturising your skin? What are we talking here?

The thing that I'm always reminded of when it comes to this type of things is one of my old friends. He was never very good looking but for some unknown reason, he felt like he was, which meant he had confidence. He never had any problems with women. From what I've seen over the years women like that in men. You look in control, self-assured etc. I also think many women expect the man to approach them, so if they don't, it is seen as a sign of weakness or something, and for all that they say, I don't think many women like weakness in men.
So how do you become confident if you feel ugly or are unsure of how you are perceived? Well, I guess that starts with getting yourself right and working on improving your own self-worth, self-esteem and all-round confidence covering many areas, be it talking to people, dealing with people, charming people, helping people, you name it. Then lastly I'd say be yourself and don't try to be someone else or something you're not. Honesty goes a long way too, I feel, and you don't want anyone that wants you expecting you to be something that you're not.
 
American Boy

American Boy

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You said you try to look good for women, how so? Is this by keeping fit, going to the gym, the clothes you wear...moisturising your skin? What are we talking here?

The thing that I'm always reminded of when it comes to this type of things is one of my old friends. He was never very good looking but for some unknown reason, he felt like he was, which meant he had confidence. He never had any problems with women. From what I've seen over the years women like that in men. You look in control, self-assured etc. I also think many women expect the man to approach them, so if they don't, it is seen as a sign of weakness or something, and for all that they say, I don't think many women like weakness in men.
So how do you become confident if you feel ugly or are unsure of how you are perceived? Well, I guess that starts with getting yourself right and working on improving your own self-worth, self-esteem and all-round confidence covering many areas, be it talking to people, dealing with people, charming people, helping people, you name it. Then lastly I'd say be yourself and don't try to be someone else or something you're not. Honesty goes a long way too, I feel, and you don't want anyone that wants you expecting you to be something that you're not.
Well I let myself go for a while mainly when I came back from America by drinking and eating junk food but I'm naturally slim so I lost the weight but could lose some more like a stone before I get back to my healthy weight but that ain't a problem right now anyway and the Covid 19 outbreak has seemed to help me in that department because I'm getting food deliveries and healthy take aways "I don't do a good job of looking after myself long term" I've been rejected my whole life. A councilor once told me I reject myself because I've been rejected my whole life but thats just text book crap.

I can't approach a woman unless I've had a few drinks. I've had women smile at me randomly but they always catch me of guard when I'm not prepared and my social anxiety kicks in.

Other times if I talk to a women, yeah sure she likes talking with me but shes always taken.
 
S

Scapes1986

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Apr 10, 2020
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Planet Mercury
Super modeling is for the movies.
Real men are better. 🐅

But not tree cutters or men with big breads. I like the environment too much.
:panic:
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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People are strange.

Cultivate loving-kindness in your actions American Boy. This will lead to happiness.
 
T

Tooth&Nail

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Jul 20, 2016
Messages
5
attraction is different to different people. One person can think you’re hit as hell and another can think you’re butt ugly. There’s no blanket answer. But I’ve got a feeling you’re actually pandering for validation.... so take it from an obese ugly America with Mental issues you’re probably better looking and more relatable than me... be happy about that
 
American Boy

American Boy

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Location
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People are strange.

Cultivate loving-kindness in your actions American Boy. This will lead to happiness.
The light makes me feel happier, ever since I've been learning about the light with a mixture of nature its like the light communicates with me spiritually and is leading to happiness but got a lot of barriers to cross and things to learn along the way before I reach the true light if that makes any sense.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,560
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Mordor
The light makes me feel happier, ever since I've been learning about the light with a mixture of nature its like the light communicates with me spiritually and is leading to happiness but got a lot of barriers to cross and things to learn along the way before I reach the true light if that makes any sense.
Yes man. Make sure you are rich in the afterlife - you just simply have to practice kindness and u do it now
 
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