so, I guess this is me.

[rhianelen]

hey, im not quite sure whether I belong here, as i have not actually been diagnosed with depession.

I'm not sure if i belong anywhere to be honest, I feel lost and alone.

Im the kindve person that people assume is happy, mainly because I tell them I am; I have developed a mask that hides my "depression" from friends and family. The only one who knows a small portion of my feelings is my boyfriend who came home to find I had taken an overdose and made me throw them up.

Ive gotten to the point that I dont know who I am anymore, i used to be a strong, willfull, happy, confident young woman, and now....

I'm a mess.

Ive become so dependant on my boyfriend, he has recently gone down south to visit family and I find myself a nervous wreck, constantly ringing and texting him, which, although I know he hates it and it will drive a wedge between us, i cant help it.

I dont know how to fix myself,
I have contacted my GP to ask for councilling, and have a consultation booked for next week.

Im hoping that joining this forum helps,
and if it doesnt,
i tried.

regards,
RhianElen

 

[Fedup]

Hello and to MHF

Hope your appointment next week goes well for you.

 

[jamesdean]

hi RHIANelan

hope u r ok keep posting if it helps there is always some1 here who will listen dont b afraid

 

[Dollit]

Hi RhianElen and welcome and it sounds like you belong here to me.

Go the the counselling appointment and be honest just like you have been here. Keep coming back here. A blog in the journals section may help, lots of us blog stuff there and the support here is amazing. People get to know you and give you the support that you need not just platitudes.

If you don't feel ready for the big forum just yet then pm someone you think you can get along with and ask to talk to them. We all have our particular people who we click with more than others.

You've done a big thing and taken a huge step and that can only be a good thing.

 

[KP1]

Hi RhianEllen
Welcome to the forum
I hope you will find some support here there are quite likely to be people who understand how you feel.
KP

 

[honeyquince]

Hi RhianEllen and welcome to the forum . Here's a cuddle (I reckon that we all need cuddles and don't get enough of them!)

This is a great place and while it can't claim to cure you (that would be interesting and I may be proved wrong!) it certainly can help. So, by joining the forum and making contact with your gp (well done!!!) you have taken the first steps in getting to be happy once more, the first steps to becoming the person that you can remember.

When you meet with your gp be as honest as you can be and tell them everything that you've told us, including the od and any other stuff.

Remember that it probably took you a while to get to where you are now and it will take a while to get out of it - but all the evidence suggests that you will get out of it. Even though you might not be able to see it just yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

It's great that you have a supportive boyfriend, be as honest as you can about how you feel - that way when you are texting him a lot he can understand why you are doing it and be more ok with it. It's when the communication breaks down with my OH that my behaviour starts to annoy .

Take care and do keep in touch
Honey,
xx

 

[Aahbut]

Hi Rhian, Beautiful name. Here is as good a place as any to be, and most of us can relate to the things to wrote. I have found the forum a great help and I'm sure many others have as well. Just jump in and say what you want, rant, whatever.