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So I am in a complete rut - I recognise that I need help



New member
Oct 27, 2018
Basically, I have multiple things "wrong" with me, I am a fuck-up through and through and although I am currently coping - I am doing so through unhealthy means. I am essentially working too much to beat loneliness and thus causing myself to become quite unwell in the process of it.

I have made drastic changes to my lifestyle, I have beaten a quite "severe" drugs problem although I am smart enough to rationalise it and tell you that it was just a strong stimulant - it was just an SNDRI, it was just this and that but the truth is it was no good. It was time to grow up.

I need to go to the doctors and try to meet with a psychiatrist whom can point me into the right direction although I know I am not burned out nor do I have something "sinister", I just have manic depression comorbid with paranoid schizoaffective disorder (mild). I hear voices, I hallucinate and also, I have delusions - this isn't truly a psychosis yet is more than likely a symptom of my fucked up cocktail of mental health problems.

Why don't I go to the doctors or see a psychiatrist? Because I don't want them to know I am as bloody insane as I am also very ugly. Being called a nutter isn't nice and having a nasty diagnosis can be very limiting in terms of what you can do in life - such as jobs and careers. I was summoned to the police station in 2017 and to tell the truth I thought I was about to get sectioned and as you can imagine the relief that it was over something else. :redface:

I remember her telling me it was over something else and instantly I perked up and was like "Oh right, well in that case!!!"
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Active member
Oct 4, 2015
It's not easy to go to a doctor to talk about your mental health - it can feel like opening yourself up to judgment but in my experience the vast majority of doctors I have talked to have been understanding and wanted to help me. If they don't it's their failure not the patient's. The first time I went for counselling I found it really hard and my self-consciousness and difficulty expressing my emotions kicked it so I didn't gain much from it - but when I did it again it was easier. And every time I have been to a doctor since it has been easier.


Well-known member
Sep 7, 2018
West Midlands
Well you have made a start, well done. And you may be thinking about how you have made a start? Well coming on here and telling us is a start.

Why don't you take a few small steps towards going to see a doctor? Make a note on paper, or even start a thread on this forum and detail each obstacle you reach in your mind when you imagine going to the doctor.

You could use the forums to help to re condition your mind into getting you to tell your doctor how you feel and this will help you to break the fear of going to see the doctor.

Also by using the forum you will be helping others who are not even at the stage you are at now and cannot even dream of writing about their fears on the forum.

Well done, you have achieved lots by writing on here.