
kizwiz
New member
Hello,
I'm Kiz and I think I have Bipolar. I have suffered with mental health issues for over 10 years now and recently moved and was given a very hands on doctor. He took one look at my record and alarm bells rang with him.
He referred me to the local mental health team who I am due to see in a few weeks.
I am so confused by my state of mind right now. I can go thro relative calm states for months but then something happens which turns my head upside down and I then go thro periods of either complete mania when nothing is ever right and I feel like ripping my own head off and anyone else who gets in my way. I hate myself to such a deep dispair that I they only way m brain works out to get rid of it all is to do something very stupid. Up until a few weeks ago my rational self has always said "shut it you crazy cow how could you do something so selfish" but now its a totally a different story.
The Doc has given me some new meds in the meantime because my anti-d's just are not working anymore but the ones he has given me are very sedative (because of the very very black moods and the inability to sleep or rest)
Now they have also given me valium because when I am in a manic episode nothing will bring me down from the ceiling.
I feel totally selfish and I dont know what is happening inside my head.
I believe that my Grandma on my maternal side had undiagnosed Bipolar and the doc seems to think that all the things are leading to me being diagnosed with the same thing but without seeing the mental health team he is powerless really.
I guess what I am trying to say is.... is this normal? Well.... as normal as things can get

I'm Kiz and I think I have Bipolar. I have suffered with mental health issues for over 10 years now and recently moved and was given a very hands on doctor. He took one look at my record and alarm bells rang with him.
He referred me to the local mental health team who I am due to see in a few weeks.
I am so confused by my state of mind right now. I can go thro relative calm states for months but then something happens which turns my head upside down and I then go thro periods of either complete mania when nothing is ever right and I feel like ripping my own head off and anyone else who gets in my way. I hate myself to such a deep dispair that I they only way m brain works out to get rid of it all is to do something very stupid. Up until a few weeks ago my rational self has always said "shut it you crazy cow how could you do something so selfish" but now its a totally a different story.
The Doc has given me some new meds in the meantime because my anti-d's just are not working anymore but the ones he has given me are very sedative (because of the very very black moods and the inability to sleep or rest)
Now they have also given me valium because when I am in a manic episode nothing will bring me down from the ceiling.
I feel totally selfish and I dont know what is happening inside my head.
I believe that my Grandma on my maternal side had undiagnosed Bipolar and the doc seems to think that all the things are leading to me being diagnosed with the same thing but without seeing the mental health team he is powerless really.
I guess what I am trying to say is.... is this normal? Well.... as normal as things can get
