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Smells, Feelings, Tastes, Voices with Personalities

T

terri

Guest
Anyone else out there smell perfumes, woodsmoke, peppermint candy, spices, pipe smoke: there is nothing here to create those smells.

At the moment I smell oranges.

No oranges either.

I can taste whisky, although I promise you I have not touched a drop. Hand on heart.

Anyone else feel chills on their arms? Surely I am not the only one. I have mentioned this before, but no one else has said they have experienced this 'sensation'.

It's hot here and yet there is a chill on my elbows.

Anyone else have voices with great personalities and then other voices 'not so great'?

Interesting to me that while away in Europe I had five days without voices. And like hell I missed them.

Visions though: they were still coming through. A reptile, yellow/orange eye, with black pupil, with golden 'spokes' radiating out from the centre not unlike a bicycle wheel. Both, reptile and I, eye to eye. A face, ugly deformed (poor thing) with ears on his forehead. The devil himself checking me out. A woman in a strapless dress, the eternal pair of sunglasses, the man who has said in the past that he is my guardian, this man has no face, a white blank canvas (unlike many others), he wears a white shirt and tie and jacket, the huge white spirit who flexes his biceps, the horses from spirit. All was quiet while I was seeing these visions, no voice commentary. The man in canoe, rowing. He always comes back. No dreams. What's the medical terminology. Hypnagogia.t I am 100% positive they are not hallucinations.

Interesting, that back home, voices are back in all their full glory.

The voices followed me to Europe: they were there with me during the flight, then two days into the vacation they became quiet, and I am now asking them why they did that and they answer 'because you wanted to think things through'.

So I say this, if my voices can be quiet for me, why not you and other voice hearers?

And my voices, mainly female at the moment, are saying 'we are there for you' and do try to ignore those voices who are not particularly benign, from lower entities who take you out and create havoc around you. So I am running, skipping, screaming back to 'norm' in the sense that I need no voices from lower entities and hope I can keep off the 'other' plane, which is so easy to become a part of? Some had been leading me up the garden path, which means in England, showing me a right 'merry dance'. How to keep off it, that's the 24,000 dollar question? Any answers, apart from think twice, and watch all thoughts; good advice given to me by another voice hearer.

In the main, my voices are so seductive.

Lots and lots of Karma, loads and loads of peace of mind, exquisite sensuous feelings, great joy through the holy spirit. But that is until..........

Lower entities, get going, keep outa here; that is, should there be any left. None at the moment, of this I am quite sure. Fingers crossed, they do not come back.

Terri x
 
R

RatViper

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
Messages
46
Hi Terri,

I've like you experienced many sensations and seen many things that apparently aren't there. I understand totally where you're coming from (all though one of my voices is telling me I'm wrong and another is telling me I'm probably wrong and another telling me I'm right! Whether these are different voices than each other I don't know and don't particularly care anymore. Gave up on working out what voice's personality belonged to who a while back because it leads to confusion and distresses me. I haven't experienced every sensation you described, but have experienced some of them and others you maybe haven't experienced. Yesterday I saw a sparkling bright red light that in a heartbeat's moment grew larger, dazzled me and blinked out of existence. Today the insides of my head feel like treacle. Went to Download music festival recently and on the day I was leaving saw a bipedal dog like being sat in the passenger seat of someone's car.

Now, in terms of what you were asking in your post, I strongly believe there is a way forward for you, me and everyone else. How do I phrase it I'm currently asking myself, I'll pause a moment and see if I can center my thoughts......

Understand and accept what is happening. There is actually no need to panic and what not even though the experiences at times can be most distressing indeed. I no longer particular attempt to ignore or block out my voices any more. I actually listen to what they have to say and show me and take it all with a pinch of salt as best as I can, which of course they don't necessarily like or agree with on, and other messages/contradictions. I find something that really helps me is to listen to my heart, my soul, my inner being.

Take care lass xx
 
T

terri

Guest
Wonderful Post, RatViper

Thankyou so much.

As you said you have not posted for a while, so you probably do not know that I went through a period of typing down every single thing the voices were saying to me. Not with good results.

Verbatum. Dictation. It was as though three things were happening at once, listening to voices, seeing visions, smelling sulphur: you name it, it happened, flying saucers, big black blobs passing through my home, etc. I could go on and on. It was a wonder that I wasn't straightjacked with the key thrown away!!! Luckily I posted through Intervoice and a good friend voice hearer who was on the other end of my e-mails and not through a doctor.

I could have delusions of grandeur here and call it my Swedenbourg Period!!

Lol

Anyway, when I finally came back to earth, and had my feet back on the ground, I panicked like mad about what I had posted, and deleted just about the whole god darn lot.

Who am I to ever call anyone whatsoever, insane, well I will anyway. The majority of people walking this planet. Well, my posts read as though I was totally 'barking' and I guess to those outside of insanity, to you and me, those who neither hear voices, or have visions, who is the more insane? Not a tough debate. lol.

So RatViper, good to have you back on board. Should you have wierd experiences again, don't go quiet. I was posting like no tomorrow, chapter and verse, and I had wonderful support from pals on Intervoice, who just sort of like, let me get on with it!!

Not like 'normal' folk who almost called in the crisis team. Blithering nutcases. Good job I took control of the situation, otherwise I would have missed my vacation in Europe and God only knows what would have happened.

Absolutely back to my old self, off for exercise, usual stuff, a good meal at the end of the day, good nights sleep...... and still, no tablets.

Must add as PS, I saw a guy walking down the street wearing a clowns costume: where the hell did that come from? Looked again, same guy, everyday clothes, me, laughing my head off in the car. Thank goodness for those closed windows and wheels......

Terri x
 
T

ThePayingRoomate

Active member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
41
I have false sensations associated with PTSD that seem to have no direct link to the roommates or anything they're up to. I also have some sensations that seem to be entirely directed by the roommates and may be part of my partial-complex seizure disorder... something the docs have said could be the cause of both the voices and other mentally-manufactured stimuli.

And then there are the ones where the roommates seem to get malicious and screw with me on PTSD triggers... but given the nature of PTSD I don't know if that's merely coincidence or not. The roommates may have a better sense of when such things are going to happen than I do (and wouldn't that just be unfair!).

It's hard to talk about the sensations I have because just thinking about them causes intrusive thoughts about them that are hard to shake... here's a quick rattling off and then I'm going to run away from my computer for a bit... spinal taps (horrible re-living), the feeling of drowning/dying again, the taste of the water at the time... etc.

Yeah... gotta run.
 
R

RatViper

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
Messages
46
Thank you Terri, real glad I've been able to help.

I think I joined intervoice whilst you were in the process of dictation of your voices/experiences. I read some of them and wanted to comment at the time but wasn't able too. From what I read of your previous posts I totally related and understood what you were going through.

Real glad the crisis team weren't called out for sure.

It's funny in a way insanity versus sanity. If the insane ones were in the majority they'd be classed as the sane ones....

No tablets eh? Good for you :) I depend of my meds as I know what I'd be like without them, doesn't bear thinking about ock!

Thank you kindly for welcoming me back, that really means something to me. I promise to do my best not to disappear again and certainly hope I don't!

Glad you found seeing the guy in the clown costume funny lol. Best way to react that is indeed :) I've been having some kind of vision as I've been writing my message, although this one doesn't feel like I'm seeing it through my eyes, it's as if it's directly being transmitted into my mind. Can't work out what it is I'm seeing because my mind blocks it out rapidly as it's something truly horrible. Makes me somewhat anxious it does, as I'm sure you can imagine but at the end of the day, I don't really mind, I can laugh about it too :)

xx
 
T

terri

Guest
RatViper

Good your staying.

Wierd, isn't it how we experience the same things. Horrific, some of my visions.

I bet you haven't been hit on the chest with a long pole causing pain. Look out for that one!!!!! Red hot poker up the bum aint too pleasant either!!!! He comes through as black, looks like a man, no face (that's not always the case), sometimes comes in real close and has a good look at me (checking out to see whether I am awake or asleep) and then does his worst.

Doh. Thick or what. The evil spirit that is. We are gonna get him. One way or another, straight back down into the pit of hell fire. Ha ha.

Don't ever be scared of those drongoes because that's what they like and that's what they want. Tough cookies like you and me, take the pss out of them, and makes you wonder, about those girls and guys, who end up committing hari kari and those doctors who say they are not real, those evil spirits, just hallucinations or figments of the imagination. Thicko quacks!

Well, we know different.

Must go, loads to do, housework gone to the dogs, yet again, must crack on or will be in BIG trouble. Ha ha

Hugs

Terri x
 
R

RatViper

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
Messages
46
Terri,

Yes I am staying :)

Yeh, there is a very large similarity between our experiences. i don't know as of yet when mine started, but i'm unravelling more and more. I'll talk about that later though as I'm finding it hard to write about it atm. Think I might start a new thread and give it a go, got a strong feeling it'll all come out as a jumble of words though!!

Well, 'tis funny you know, you asked me jokingly about whether I'd experienced some particularly visions. Well I got something I need to tell everyone......

This isn't a problem in essence, it can be gift, just need to flow through the experiences and feel centered. Basically I experience what other beings experience, that is if an experience/idea/etc is communicated to me in any form or fancy, I experience it immediately. I'll give an example

I bet you haven't been hit on the chest with a long pole causing pain. Look out for that one!!!!! Red hot poker up the bum aint too pleasant either!!!! He comes through as black, looks like a man, no face (that's not always the case), sometimes comes in real close and has a good look at me (checking out to see whether I am awake or asleep) and then does his worst. '
Well as i read your words I experienced what you described, I particularly don't like the last experience, ock! Not nice at all.

I've had major issues dealing with all this, been battling for a very long time, I want to say how long but the truth is I'm not certain. I've adjusted a great deal to everything over the years, practically all self-taught.

Don't ever be scared of those drongoes because that's what they like and that's what they want. Tough cookies like you and me, take the pss out of them, and makes you wonder, about those girls and guys, who end up committing hari kari and those doctors who say they are not real, those evil spirits, just hallucinations or figments of the imagination. Thicko quacks!

Well, we know different.
Aye that is indeed what they delight in and want. Yeh, there's something very, very wrong with the medical 'expertise' available. I feel for the ones amongst us who are no longer with us.

Well back to the part where I explain what I said near the top of my message, about the unraveling of experiences. Watch out for my thread 'Life is Bonkers'. I'm ready to lay what I've experienced on the line. Ready to float down the rabbit hole and see how far it goes....., or is it up the rabbit hole? lol :)

P.S. I'm treading carefully as I go within this rabbit hole, gently, gently, slowly, slowly is the way

x
 
T

terri

Guest
RatViper

Hi Ducks. Looking forward to Life is Bonkers. Don't forget when down the rabbit hole to say hello to the Mad Hatter for me and tell him the price of his hat is now 12/6p due to inflation! Jam tarts and tea for me at the party and don't forget Alice on the way back!

Seriously, I am sorry if I caused you a 'moment or two of discomfort' when reading about the evil geezer with the pole and the red hot poker. Just saying how it is sometimes. Not pleasant at all.

It's not happened around here for a while, but who knows, I get myself sorted, life's a ball, and who likes to drop in and spoil, ha ha, if it's not the wave after wave of dictating voices, it's the black evil rock bottom spirits who take the pss out of me, using my mind eye, the visionary gifts, to get through my 'head space' and try to cause mayhem. Next time, I will stick my tongue out and give them the one finger, see what response I get! Probably, full verbals: yep, they can talk as well! At the end of the day, holy spirit takes over, laughter in great supply, and they are outa here that fast........

But in the meantime, don't we pay a price for sensitive.

Just a final comment on the waves of dictating voices, well, in mitigation to myself, there were things which needed to be said!! I was rather cross about a certain issue in my life and the millenium of voices pushed me to do it. Ha ha. Almost worth it, not good to bottle up, and I certainly didn't bottle out. Glad that was all taken off me, do not want to turn out bitter and twisted.

Now come on guys, just tell me, please, pretty pretty please, why I can taste chocolate peppermint and smell blackpool spearmint rock when I've been no where near our famous seaside for ore than a couple of years, or touched that chocolate aero. There must be someone out there who knows the answer to that question? What about you, Paying Roomate, you experience this? Hope you are okay this morning, not battling too hard, gaining some sort of peace. Love your posts.

Hugs and love

Terr x
 
R

RatViper

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
Messages
46
Terri,

Hiya lass, thanks, as you've seen I've made good progress on Life is Bonkers, very pleased with how it's going. I'll certainly send out your message to the Mad Hatter, don't worry I will definitely chill out with Alice, feel like I'm chilling with her right now!

No worries at all regarding the geezer with the pole and such. I experience what others feel all the time, got used to it on the whole.

You tell em! My collection have once more become very active indeed over the last couple of days, had a couple of days before then when they were pretty dormant but they are back and better than ever they tell me lol. Well I'm telling them so am I! They certainly don't like being confronted do they? No, not at all. And yeh, they certainly do push us towards doing things. I know when there is something important to me they do push me, the scrubbers! Glad you've been dealing with the issue that needed dealing with. Care to tell me what it is? Ah bitter and twisted! I've been there, glad you haven't. They made me become the thing I hate - the direct opposite of how I am at heart. That was the culmination of their victory and my utter defeat.....well, I've risen back an uncountable number of times since then, they may win battles but I will win the war! What's also good is I've made extremely good progress at identifying the personalities living within me. What kind of things they say, how they work, what they try to do to me. At last I've finally realised that none of them are my friends, and oh, they are extremely cunning, extremely manipulative, and will continue to try to make me kowtow before them, no matter how long it takes. Well I have news for them - that ain't gonna happen.

I'm not sure of the answer to your question, but I have ideas. Ideas and theories regarding the nature of my senses seemingly not being on the right track. Maybe they would apply to you too, and others? Maybe I'm just barking up the wrong tree, woof woof!

I hope you're ok too PayingRoomate, keep your posts coming :)

Cya all x
 
T

ThePayingRoomate

Active member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
41
Now come on guys, just tell me, please, pretty pretty please, why I can taste chocolate peppermint and smell blackpool spearmint rock when I've been no where near our famous seaside for ore than a couple of years, or touched that chocolate aero. There must be someone out there who knows the answer to that question? What about you, Paying Roomate, you experience this? Hope you are okay this morning, not battling too hard, gaining some sort of peace. Love your posts.
One possible explanation is given all of the other experiences you've had that lack a foundation in "reality" (in the loosest of social meaning) is that your mind might be tossing in a treat here and there. Letting you experience something that evokes happier times, perhaps? Kind of a mental-self medication, regulating the endorphins when it thinks you might need it. Just a wild guess.

I'm more used to such sensations occurring in a negative way though, so I'm not sure how well I can relate. I've had times in my life where I thought I smelled rubarb pie for a second when thinking of my grandma... but it wasn't anything like the blatant sensations I have with the PTSD or partial complex seizures.

I'm doing alright today, but I'm supposed to go to a friend's wedding later, and given my propensity to be entirely unreliable, it's been pretty stressful helping them out with their stress on top of my own problems. With so many more of their fam around unfamiliar with what's going on in my head they tend to have expectations that are a bit unrealistic for me, and I just try to keep up.

Thanks to both of you for checking up on me... and the compliments on the posts. I'm happy to share and even happier when it's helpful or interesting to others.
 
T

terri

Guest
Paying Roomate

Hope you enjoyed the wedding.

Tastes. Yes, you are probaly right, reminiscence of happy times. Blueberry pancakes, a stop on the motorway with friends. Clotted cream and scones, a holiday down in Cornwall.

Thanks so much for that. just the thought, just the remeberance, brings back the taste. Blackpool rock, mint and chocolate aero.

Pssd at 17 on whisky and orange. That too. Many many years later.

Almost like a confession, DO NOT DO IT AGAIN.

Which I haven't, so........ the taste comes through today. Almost like a lesson in life saying 'ya gonna reap the consequences'. Well 40 years plus on and I aint done it, and i aint gonna.

Ha ha

Hope you ok
terr
 
R

rabina

Guest
PayingRoomate,

I think you took on too much maybe?

Sometimes we push ourselves beyond our limits to please others.
We over extend ourselves which leaves no "peace" time for ourselves.

Just take care of your business and then help if you can, but you should enjoy this wedding regardless; have a good time!!!!

Ann Landers no More...?????????
We're all so smart and no what's best for ourselves.:)


rabina
 
T

ThePayingRoomate

Active member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
41
Wedding went well... and I ended up being a rescuer here and there for some crises that popped up here and there... which sometimes helped get me out of the situation and relax for a bit.

Definitely bit off more than I could chew with that whole thing. I knew I was doing so well ahead of time but then kept getting braver and braver as helping out here and there in the mean time got everyone's expectations up of me being there.

Closer to showtime though that bravery crumbled into panic. And all sorts of crap went to hell with my issues, but I made it through somehow. Though I must admit towards the end of the reception I think it was the lady who really really really wanted me to come who was pushing for me to go home and rest.

Not sure if I did anything embarrassing or not. I was probably too "stoned" on pain meds to control the headaches and anxiety meds to control the looming full blown panic attack to really know what the heck happened. It's all kind of hazy now. :confused:

If all went well, I was quiet, stuck to my own little corner, interacted with the midgets who find my weirdness to be plus rather than some embarrassing social nightmare... which keeps the adults happy because it helps keep us kids entertained while they panic about flower arrangements and picture lighting, etc.
 
T

terri

Guest
TPR

Glad you got through. Tough day for you, but, hey, you made it.

Funny how anxiety, panic takes away the memories. Sort of wipes the grey matter slate clean and takes away those commonsense thoughts as well.

What I mean is, the thoughts which can get you through, like this will not last forever, I am not really dying, just feel like it, it's far too much adreneline and that must come to an end sometime, oh my Goodness, I'm sweating cobs, it's a special occasion, I hope I neither pass out nor do anything embarrassing. The visions will soon be over, and I'll have respite for a while.

A good book to read is Feel the Fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers.

It doesn't cover voice hearing, but gives good techniques for panic/anxiety.

I hope I am not doing a 'mother' and telling you how to suck eggs.

Kids hey, aren't they the wise ones. Finding an adult they can relate to.

Flowers, table placings, sugared almonds in lacey bags, they will be gone tomorrow and what remains, special memories with special people.

Take care

Terri x
 
T

ThePayingRoomate

Active member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
41
Thanks for the reading recommendation. I'll be sure to give that a look. And don't ever worry about giving me advice. I appreciate it.
 
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