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sallimae76

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Yes, fortunately, I can sleep over it, and it is not as loud as it use to be.
 
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Zoe1

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k great, I slept fine as well !
I was puzzled for a bit
about the idea that God makes bad things happen
as I dont think that is happening to me

but I agree that is happening to you

and does it help to take your mind off it ? x x x
 
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sallimae76

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I think God is a misogynist male that has a problem with women who don't give it up. The voices tell me to "burn" and one time on a message board I wrote there are no good men and the response was "burn", not a coincidence. He has called me a witch before also. Slept okay.
 
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Zoe1

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k I think my God just doesnt intervene much in human affairs
I dont really know, I dont think about it all that much
I'm sorry that yours has such a punitive attitude
and its understandable now how you explain it
why its like that for you
that he has made these bad things happen

do you not believe in Goddesses as well
I like the ones from India with lots of hands
and several elephant trunks

how did your day go ? x x x
 
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sallimae76

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Day just started. Had to go to court with a client. We got a minor victory. I have severe menstrual cramps today.

As far as your thoughts on God...I think that he plays both sides, good and bad. I can only go by my personal experience. If he isn't the one telling me to "burn" he has given others dominion over me to tell me to "burn". I don't care much for him. I think he is male, and flawed, and I think that women were born better.
 
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Zoe1

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well done you sound like an awesome lawyer !
and with all your pains going on !

I believe there are already some Goddesses in existence
maybe you can find some nice ones

I believe they only intervene in our suffering
if we beg and plead to them

x x x
 
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sallimae76

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I am a good lawyer depending upon what I am working on. It was a minor victory, just delaying the inevitable bad result for the client, we were able to delay it on a technicality, and the plaintiff has to re-file the complaint against her.

On another note, this voice that I hear thinks that I have to be his burden bearer, or that he has dominion over me. Constantly says "I'm an ape" or tells me to "burn". I have had people in my material life tell me to "burn" namely my sister. A self-proclaimed aethiest yet she told me that our niece is written in the book of life (from the Book of Revelation), and she also wanted me to believe that I was going crazy by telling me that our father was "John the Baptiste". She has also repeated conversations I have had privately with other people, and things she has seen me do in private. At one time, her voice was among one that I use to hear, but now it is just one guy that remains. I believe it is my brother-in-law, who I believe is Satan or a demon, one of his many human forms.
 
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Zoe1

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well you sound like a great lawyer to me !

your family sounds like something from cult ritual abuse
and I believe all that you have told me

I understand that you have no contact with them these days
which is probably for the best
so that you can experience people loving and caring for you

x x x
 
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sallimae76

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One of the voices that I recognized as another sister, told me, "We don't like human women, but we know that we need them." I believe that this God has allowed supernatural creatures to do things to humans, and that he does not protect us because he thinks we are beneath him. He calls it a test to justify it in his mind. I had "other preschoolers" (I believe supernatural demons or other creatures in human form), experimenting on me as early as age 3. Other preschoolers touched my genitals on the school bus. I know that myself as a three year old, I did not have a concept of genitals, so as an adult, looking back, I don't believe those "children" were human children.
 
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Zoe1

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well no they dont sound very human
I think once we get abused by one person
we seem to get it from other people or creatures
that can see we are vulnerable

x x x
 
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sallimae76

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The thing is with this current voice, it keeps saying "ape" and "I'm an ape." Don't know why it is targeting me. I live an unremarkable life. My career should be so far advanced by now. I make HALF of what I would be making if I stayed on track. I am a black woman that's an attorney, but I am not successful, I have debts. I personally know so many more successful Black women defying the status quo. Home owners, making it on their own, making 6 figures. I don't know what it is about my life that he can't accept. I know other women over 40 that are virgins, so I don't think I am special in this regard. If it is the person whom I think it is, he definitely thought little of me as a child, and attempted to abuse me. This voice has been at this steadily since March 2019 this most recent time, just repeating "ape" and "I'm an ape" and "burn" or "I can't believe it." I have screamed at him that I am not his burden bearer and that he does not have dominion over me, but he just keeps repeating it, like a broken record.

I know there is a supernatural deity out there. It has been proven to me. But I believe that he thinks of us as toys, and does not respect us. I can't be bullied into being a believer.
 
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Zoe1

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do you think I'm trying to bully you into being a believer ?
 
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sallimae76

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No, not you. I did not mean to imply that. Although a lot of people respond for me to pray to Jesus. In general that just offends my senses, the idea that a God would allow innocent people to get hurt and be used.
 
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Zoe1

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I know what you mean I feel resentful about it too
my God does not intervene in most things
because we have free will

what about Kali the hindu Goddess that destroys demons
have you seen pictures of her ?
 
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sallimae76

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I just googled it now. Pretty interesting. My dream is that an old fashioned organic girl rises to be the Supreme God. Humans need a nurturing unconditional love god, that wants to see you be your best, and be happy. Motherhood is what we need.
 
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