slowly gaining ...

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sallimae76

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#41
The thing is with this current voice, it keeps saying "ape" and "I'm an ape." Don't know why it is targeting me. I live an unremarkable life. My career should be so far advanced by now. I make HALF of what I would be making if I stayed on track. I am a black woman that's an attorney, but I am not successful, I have debts. I personally know so many more successful Black women defying the status quo. Home owners, making it on their own, making 6 figures. I don't know what it is about my life that he can't accept. I know other women over 40 that are virgins, so I don't think I am special in this regard. If it is the person whom I think it is, he definitely thought little of me as a child, and attempted to abuse me. This voice has been at this steadily since March 2019 this most recent time, just repeating "ape" and "I'm an ape" and "burn" or "I can't believe it." I have screamed at him that I am not his burden bearer and that he does not have dominion over me, but he just keeps repeating it, like a broken record.

I know there is a supernatural deity out there. It has been proven to me. But I believe that he thinks of us as toys, and does not respect us. I can't be bullied into being a believer.
 
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sallimae76

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#43
No, not you. I did not mean to imply that. Although a lot of people respond for me to pray to Jesus. In general that just offends my senses, the idea that a God would allow innocent people to get hurt and be used.
 
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Zoe1

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#44
I know what you mean I feel resentful about it too
my God does not intervene in most things
because we have free will

what about Kali the hindu Goddess that destroys demons
have you seen pictures of her ?
 
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sallimae76

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#45
I just googled it now. Pretty interesting. My dream is that an old fashioned organic girl rises to be the Supreme God. Humans need a nurturing unconditional love god, that wants to see you be your best, and be happy. Motherhood is what we need.
 
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Zoe1

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#46
n yeah definitely , sounds like a Gaia thing
there is some interesting stuff on that too
I think people have stopped being mothers because they get treated badly

have you been following extinction rebellion ? x x x
 
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Zoe1

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#48
yes I believe we have immortal souls

extinction rebellion is a protest about climate change and global warming and stuff
I have not joined it but its quite beautiful really
people here have been blocking the roads and dressing up as trees and stuff

x x x
 
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sallimae76

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#51
I've been to London once, in 2005. Sometimes wished I lived there. But I always think wverplace is an escape, but when I get there, I'm just lonely there too!
 
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Zoe1

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#52
I dunno, I think some places can be helpful
I used to live in London and I was very lonely there
now I live in a small town where people are more friendly
 
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sallimae76

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#53
Glad to hear you like where you live! I'm still looking for that place. Tucson, Arizona is not the place for me. It was a mistake to move here.
 
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Zoe1

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#54
yes is that some sort of a desert ?
sorry my geography is not great !
yes I do think the right place can make a difference

x x x