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Skeletons

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gurl2134

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
218
Location
England
I keep beating myself up over my impulsivities of me posting on explicit sites. I am ashamed of myself, and i try to talk to my counsellor and ONLY my counselor about that portion of my past. I feel evil, gross, trashy and scummy for all that. I can’t believe that I am a good person, and pure and nice. I will always have this skeleton looking me in the mirror and showing me why I am not all so good, and nice. I feel terrible, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to my family about it, it’s personal and private and they’re very strict. But I just want to forgive myself and let it go. What should I do?
 
WhiteHydrangeas

WhiteHydrangeas

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2020
Messages
14
Location
Pensacola, FL
Since my diagnosis a year and a half ago, I’ve had to take an inventory of my past and decide what mattered and what didn’t. As a result, I can now say that I have three things I’ve never ever had before.

The first and most important is a positive mindset. Sometimes it’s hard to manage, but I have built some little techniques I use when things get rough or I start to get hard on myself. Listen to the Rob Dial podcast, Mindset Mentor. It has helped tremendously.

The second is self-acceptance. I am a human being. I have made terrible mistakes and bad decisions. But that’s part of living here. I give myself grace and know that I am good, thoughtful, kind, respectful, warm, and creative. When you think of yourself badly, ask yourself if a friend came to you with their own mistakes, would you judge them so harshly? Become friends with yourself.

And the third is self-respect. I have learned that I am deserving of love and understanding just like anyone else, regardless of my past. It’s not fair to myself to allow someone else to think it’s okay to condescend, criticize, condemn. And so I set very hard boundaries. What does “cross the line” look like to me? How will I let others know when they’ve crossed that line? Write it down! Refresh it as you need to. It’s fluid.

I hope this has helped you. It works for me most of the time, but everyone is different...and human. Find the techniques that work for you and start putting them in place immediately. The sooner you do, the sooner you can move on in hopefulness and joy. Good luck to you!
 
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Bipolarbear808

Active member
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
26
Location
Hawaii, USA
I keep beating myself up over my impulsivities of me posting on explicit sites. I am ashamed of myself, and i try to talk to my counsellor and ONLY my counselor about that portion of my past. I feel evil, gross, trashy and scummy for all that. I can’t believe that I am a good person, and pure and nice. I will always have this skeleton looking me in the mirror and showing me why I am not all so good, and nice. I feel terrible, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to my family about it, it’s personal and private and they’re very strict. But I just want to forgive myself and let it go. What should I do?
Hey Gurl,

I can kind of relate to what you're saying, I did some questionable things on sex websites while under the influence and would beat myself up about doing it. But, the truth is we are all sensual/sexual beings and experimenting is a normal part of growing. It gives us contrast to know what you don't want in life.

I agree with WhiteHydrangeas advice and think that you should be kind to yourself and stop beating yourself up about it. Growth is a process and acceptance takes time, but it sounds like you're on the right track and I wish you the best of luck in dealing with you skeletons!
 
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Debaura500

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
202
Location
London
I did what you did and a lot more and loved every minute of it.. in rare moments I cannot believe I was so carefree and took so many risks but it was the best time ever!
 
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venusgarci

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Mexico
I felt the same way cause I was a victim of revenge porn. I called myself all the adjectives you used. It has been like 6 years since that and I can assure you, you do get past the shame and pain. I now feel like I have nothing to be ashamed not only because It wasnt my choice but because there's nothing wrong with being sexual. If you did that, that doesnt make you a bad perdón, please know that. And I know this eventually will make you stronger and More open.
 
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Debaura500

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
202
Location
London
Yes I literally fell in love everyday with someone new and the freedom it gave me was hugei didn't care about all these men leaving my house and what would the neighbours say honestly didn't give a monkeys
 
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